I know that you want to know
Why I am the way I am
I brush it to the side playfully
And answer "because I can"
The most nonchalant answer I could give
You better believe that's what you'll hear
Because I'm not ready to confess the truth
I'm not ready for you to disappear.

hello
there you go
right through me
again
i am a ghost
you pretend
you nod and say
okay
today was a good day
let's go to bed
and play more pretend

hello
oh, you're dead?
since when?
your hands
they are always cold
i didn't notice
you're my corpse
i love to control

hello
i said sleep
you said rest
i didn't know
what you meant
until i spoke
later that week
as your body
was lowered
deep into the ground
with the worms
and ***** earth

hello
i can't say good bye
because i never
even met you

I love you.

And sometimes I wish I didn't.

Because waking up without you isn't the same.
Am I really sleeping if I'm screaming your name?
You're in all my dreams,
And I'm scared to fall asleep.
I don't wanna see you if I can't ever hold you again.

The last time I saw you,
You were out with your friends.
You completely ignored me.
It hurt all over again.
My bones rattled,
And my heart sighed..
When you walked away,
I died inside.

You left and didn't even take a glance back.
But I always check my mirrors when I'm driving.
Sometimes I see you behind me,
And I'll stomp the breaks.
Only to look up to see your face.
But then it vanishes,
Just like you did.

There is no escaping the stupidity of the human race
It's always right up there in your face
I want to be on a mountain top
Where humanity never stops
I want to be in the middle of the raging sea
Where no human I'll never see
I want to be on a deserted island
Where people couldn't even fly in
I want to live in the frozen tundra
Where humanity couldn't wonder
But I'm afraid I'm stuck right here
Amongst the idiots and their beer
Watching the little piggies as they squeal
I want to run away
There is no place I want to stay

When these old faces
Become new friends,
The pain from familiar strangers,
The ones who never made amends,
Will disappear like smoke;
And I'll watch these wounds mend.

there's nothing here
i choked on thirty pills
of brain killing chemicals
couldn't think, couldn't think
couldn't walk, couldn't talk
couldn't sleep, couldn't sleep
laid me to rest in my bed
there was blood all over the pen
my mouth became glued shut
couldn't cry for help if i wanted
but help wasn't here
when i was here
why should it be here now?
because i'm finally fading?
is this why there are so many funerals
for the ones life taking?
did life finally make sense
as i was lowered into the ground?
don't love me now -
i may have been born
just to die
there's nothing here now
choked on thirty pills ...
fifty pills ...
brain dead
i just wanted rest

don't love me in my afterlife
when you couldn't love my present life