I feel breathless at any speck of thought —an idea— crossing my mind. I am restlessly wishing for something, prying for crumbs, and my mind is slowly sinking. Breathing words for oxygen, concepts for nutrients. I am a starving girl in a desert of words.

I see blood on the walls.
Tears falling down like rain.
Everyday I think about you even when its part of pain.
3, 2, 1..
I hate you.
I never wanna see you.
You know what, I wish I never met you!
1, 2, 3..
I love you.
I miss you.
Can't wait to see you!
3, 2, 1..
It's happening again isn't it?
I wonder if he loves me?
Will he break my heart?
1, 2, 3
Oh god, not again..
I'm not good enough
I will never love again.

"I'm not going to win.
So why should I even try?"
That's what you've been telling yourself so when the bullies try to hurt you, you won't cry.
I've been down that road
a couple times.
Told myself a thousand lies.
Felt my soul die
a little more every time.
Then one day,
someone showed me the way.
When I looked to see
where I'd come from,
I saw a sign with instructions.
It said "this way to self destruction."

A young lady die--
I get cries of words.
You are the next heroine!

In April,
Our together was cut short,
I couldn't look you in the eyes.
The second our words fleeted,
We were drowning in butterflies.

A story they will never know,
Only for our hearts to see.
The showers of April,
The deaths of you and me.

i live in a brightness
of worlds
paper-thin

a screenshot of
malleability
introduces my reckoning

today, the serpent
lays hold of
the egg
and starvation
is kept at bay

belly full
cut the cord
the descendants
hang heavy

all my life i've wanted
a reason to
die well

tonight, I hear it
in the sirens...
I hear it
in the coyotes...
I hear it
in my soul...
tonight, I hear it
in plain sight--
as clear
as a daisy

i was allowed
to slow down

to see my life
in a different gear

to venture a guess
towards life in payment
of a different path

i was
hungry
and hung-up

i was held-up
with my pants
down

i was a man
living his life
in the modern
mouse-trap

and nobody
cares about the
man in the
modern
mouse-trap

forget about the
cheese...

find your
own way
out