The battle is over
my blade is broken
all of my arrows
have long been spent

Blood runs like a river
my flesh burnt ,
bones broken , flesh cut ,
stabbed and divided

And on my knees
I face my Victor
asking no grace
I the conflictor

Waiting for the inevitable
every second labored
would you do the honor
end it now and not later

Shattered hope, how will I cope,
Is there any light at the end of this *****?

Dealing with my problems,
More like balancing on soup,
While ******* with a thick rope,
Can't help but wobble,
In every corner there's trouble,
One ends and then it's double,
How is that even possible?

Can't escape, permanently ****,
In a world where there's zero luck,
Where, at everything, I ****,
My thoughts, ideas, always receiving a mock,
Never failed to be a laughing stock,
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just leftovers,
Forgotten even in a garbage truck,
Lost count of the times I got struck,
By words that are better left unsaid,
That ache more than a throw of a rock,
Maybe I should cage my inner self with a lock,
Enclose my self from everything and not even look,
At my present or future, both hold nothing good in stock,
Wishing time was a motionless clock,
Wanna fade away in a flock,
In a void where there's no hate, no pain, nothing hurtful to block.

~A.d | 3 Aug 2014

She says
"Emotions ready to crack from its hard shell prison, my weak beating heart; it is as quiet as an empty hospital bed, all sound stolen from death, but I can't stop this earthquake my chest is having. Shaking and trembling. I have to hold my rib cage in an locked embrace so tight that my bones start to crack and wither into nothing but it's collapse. But my heart is wrapped in barb wire, no one would pick it up from the ruins of my disaster

He says
What comes next is the surprise
Where this soul comes along
makes you realize
That no matter the wire
The heat is worth the fight
Even if that wire is covered in fire
this soul will tear them off
bring you light
To make you heal
Maybe be okay again to feel ❤

I have all of these memories
that live within me, that feel like seconds ago.
I'm so attached to every moment, and I'm destroyed by what I've let go.
I've loved a human being, maybe two,
Spent time with men who deserve to die.
I've been empty, distraught, corrupt and you,
You are me, every night.

The same disdain, the pain.
The highs and lows of flesh and bone.
The strength and energy of youth and friends and fun and it all-
It all ends.
Or maybe that's how I feel,
Or think I do,
At my age with a boy and bills and cigarettes and a history of some of unorthodox illness.

I never wanted to be cliche
And wish to take my life
Over a certain individual
No matter how special they are

To me, she was everything
She meant more than air to me
Because before I met her
Life meant very little

Yes the medication helped me
To feel more empty than sad
Most days
But she was the only sunshine
In the rain storm of my life

These tears that stain my face
Burn into my skin like acid
Trailing, disintegrating
Everything from my eyes
To the deepest pits of my heart
The place only she knew

Where only she could survive
No one else deserved to see me
Not in the ways she did
The only one who could truly see
My broken soul and
my mutated heart
But still love me through it all

Now she's gone
No longer mine to hold
Or to call
Just to hear her sweet voice
Before I daze into a restful sleep
Sparkled with visions of her
Beautiful face
Those gorgeous blue eyes
That could see me
The real me
Even when I couldn't
understand it myself

I love her
And she left me

She is my life
Was my life
The only one who meant anything
To my ****** up heart.
And now I feel nothing.

I gave you all I had.

When you were sad, I gave you my happiness. When you were weak, I gave you my strength. When you had nobody, I was your friend. When you were unloved, I loved you. Not a single 'thanks' was even said through your mouth.

Now that you have everything I have given, I have nothing. I became nothing. So, you go to other people to enjoy life, be free, give them what you have, and suddenly, they ruin you. Then, you come to me asking for help. And I reply, "I gave you all I had."

I know I'm setting myself up for disaster
I still can't help but always answer

Good girl gone bad
The tears in my eyes are because it's true everything he said
I  just "take what I can get"

He asks me why I look so sad

It's because he's right
All along I've accepted what I should regret

Despite everything

All the ******* and lies

Hoping that anything

Could fill this void inside

Probably it's true
One person is enough to destroy you

My poems were about you
Each and every one
Connected to you
In some way

The day I fell out of love
Was the day
The very day
I stopped being a poet

You were my muse
Now I'm left with no inspiration
No tears
No feelings
Nothing

We were a toxic couple
We both knew that
From the beginning

I was destroyed
In every way possible
And your heart
Was crushed

For that
I apologize
I'm sorry

Happy anniversary

s.j.d

Education, predesigned to open doors,
Becomes a leech on the skull
Draining creativity
Pigmentation leaks from pores

This life becomes a cycle of
Doing as you're told
Never succeeding
Unless you conform

Repetition wears
Warping bones
Bending frames
Reconstructed to their molds

Assembly line humans
"The minds of the future"
Education
Becomes a trap door