This latter stage of life unfolds—  
so distant now from dreams once gold.  
Each sunset sinks, each storm is crossed,  
and whispers still of Loved and Lost.  

The days ahead, though yet unwritten,  
hold no warmth, no solace given.  
I stand beneath the waning sun,  
and find no comfort—  
there is none.

The eyes—mirrors of sins, fragments of something deeper, darker—reflected back as she stared, hollow but alive in the stillness. She felt the starvation of the beast within her, pacing, clawing, a quiet desperation gnawing at her ribs. Her wings spread like the golden dawn's promise, a cruel mirage of escape, yet the weight of life pulled her back, anchoring her to the earth.

In the quiet hours, he whispered, we’re always alone, and the words nestled like burrs in her mind, scratching, lingering. She felt their truth seep in, unavoidable and raw, threading itself into the fabric of her mind like stitches holding together a wound that refused to heal.

Vivid dreams clawed at her in sleep—visions of other lives, other faces, shadowed figures speaking to her in gestures, fingers dancing in sign language, secrets woven in the air. She would wake in paralysis, shackled in silence, eyes wide as if staring into a void that she knew was watching her, always watching.

Scars of hope, she thought, tracing the lines on her arms, the stories she'd written in flesh, layered beneath the numb veil of sedatives. She had cut past ties in time, sharp and clean, slicing away the tethers that bound her to memory, to faces that no longer lingered in her dreams. Every attempt had been a rebirth, each suicide a reawakening of truth. And yet, she had awoken again, the wilting pulse of survival pressing her forward.

The elders would decide—her fate, her future, as if it were some verdict to be handed down from faceless arbiters of her despair. She walked into the darkness as if it were her home, her familiar lover, arms open to its hollow embrace, knowing it would never abandon her. There were no more tomorrows, only a slow descent into silence, punctuated by the beat of a dying heart.

And as the night stretched on, she listened

In a lonely darkened pit I wander, some might call it hell but it's far too familiar with every texture, every smell.
It's been with me for so long I choose to call it home this cold and lonely labyrinth of desperation that I roam.

Searching in vain for my true love fair

Crying out her name hoping she'll be there, but only the wind will answer echoing her name, taunting me and haunting me is it all just a dream, an opioid delusion as a field of poppies I cross.

Breathing in a fragrance nearly as intoxicating as her, down the rabbit hole I tumble everything becomes a blur.

Alice sweet Alice won't you please come home. This is no wonderland since you've gone.

" Look, sweet heart, a unicorn
munching away in the meadows"

If I could run like the unicorn,
If I could be dreamy in your eyes,
I believe I may be able sprint or fly,
be so happy without your scorn,

You are now the ghost that haunts,
every inch of my bleeding everything,
the wishful in my head that taunts,
ignorance is the reaper that death brings,

The smell of your hair still captivates,
the catch of my eyes upon your skin,
I'm pouring out blood from within,
my feelings have all but been replaced,

I need to find that green filled meadow,
my soul to enter this wonderful unicorn,
Find my freedom away from the darkness,
finally have a life that's full of bliss,

Sick and tired of insomnia,
I need to feel your euphoria,
gentle skin upon my hands,
take me into another land,

" Approach it slowly dear,
Pat it when it knows not to fear,
be gentle, scratch close to its ears"

Sitting in the creek,
having its bath,
reminds me of the bleak,
of which does last,
the unicorn softly grunts,
like a pencil that's blunt

I hear the sound of your gentle voice,
in upon the stormy thundering noise,
brings me joy and such soothing
of our laughter and me being coy.

Does he brings the smile to your dial,
or the laughter that made us stronger,
or is he the wail that will someday fail,
a greeting of arrogance to every meeting,

Happiness is an condition, due to flesh,
do we judge on the outside due to fresh,
we always do and the soul-ful suffers,
I wish I could find a gentle other,

I hear the singing of your sweet lips,
whenever I play back the video clips.
of our love and a family I could have provided,
now I'm left with an empty soul and nothing....

The melody's raw like a tooth is sore,
but those piercing eyes, too hard to deny,
flinching back, I have nothing to hold the slack,
your beautiful face is the thumping chest of race.

Your toes are like snow to be admired
Your hair's like a blow torch to be fired,
skin is so smooth a wolf wish devoured,
your voice is like a god's perfect choice,

Is the flame to blame or my useless shame,
Is your air to bare or the good times we shared,
Are eyes not lies when they say far from cries,
looking into souls we know like the watching crows.

I miss the sound of your sweet conversations,
and now my life is just another ruination,
pretend that his soul has that elegance,
when he's full of that........

**** this.

The paint fades from gutters,
like the color of my eyes,
watch before they flutter,
yellowing, I'm to die,

Looking forward to,
an emptiness sky,
I won't return to you,
this eagle has to fly,

I gave up on hope,
you tied the rope,
its so hard to cope
not even legal dope.....

So many languages,
so many translations
Je ne peux pas juste me détruire,
Je ne souhaite plus être

Some day you will return
once this soul has burned,
extinguished the torch
my feelings are getting worse,

The unicorn's silvery flight,
its eyes are flipping dimes,
the distance to my remnant,
every man answers his crimes,

Some day, I'll answer thee,
and I will not flee,
answer to the judge,
not be so begrudged....

There's a train, calling my name,
and a bus where I felt the lust,
bread crumbs of such hard crust,
and we pretend everything's the same,

The unicorn jumps around the field,
don't try to tame it as you never will,
but its my guiding hand and shield,
as it jumps around, we remain still.

White horse with the horn,
luscious as the corn fields,
a beast to not love the least,
golden is the horn of its crest.

There's an old saying that goes down with the moon,
fluttering the old wings of our old sky owls,
sooner or later we all answer to it soon,
demons we exist whether we have the fowls,

Dancing in the moonlight, is my little angel,
wearing the silvery of the bought bangles,
I'm proud as I teach but she's out of reach,
like the last time I traveled to the beach,

I'm sick and tired of...

A moon light shines and its to become,
demons beware of my custom,
I'm proud to be of both of the bible
and the Cain that killed........

A little white noise,
A little,
A little white noise
A little.....

I wish for my deathly family,
to reach the heavens,
I prayed and I prayed,
and all I copped was more death,

I'm trying to keep myself strong,
but the dire of the breathe,
why should I continue to belong,
I sing to the beat of my suicidal song,

There will always be a tragic romance,
to the beat of a modern day trance,
the fire to the empty streets,
slows down this song's beats,

I try and I try and I try, and I try and I try,
but this little boy's lost and then he died.


I place you on the unicorn,
it gallops around the field,
sweet-heart, you're giggling,
I can feel your gentle shield,

And my lover laughs in the distance,
at the unicorn with her sweet baby,
memories then blur, I'm lost between tides,
and this is when the wound opens so wide,

I always wished for, and it was granted,
never took for granted my once family,
every sin is judged and mine's the decree,
every soul I destroyed is buried in the sea,

Blued eyed unicorns bask in the summer light,
my little girl combs and rubs them till the night,
behind the ears and their gentle little bellies,
her sweet voice now becomes my end......

Your ghosts are my anchors.

Once my soul was a chest, it used to protect the gems I had in my spirit.
Yet all of them turned into coal.
All the colorful precious stones faded away.
Now I have tiny dark coals laying inside the ashes of my cigs.
My soul is covered with fumes and dust.
I bear no strength to wipe them away.
I yearn for the purity of my soul, yet I have to live with the darkness inside me.
For there is no one to reach out and ask for comfort.
You trapped me inside the basement of your heart and there is no way out.
I cannot even see a light.
I invaded your castle with no intention of harm but you locked me inside the darkest dungeon of it.
It is still you I ask help from, for I am too weak to help myself and find a way out.