You have a decision to make

The voices keep echoing
Nagging
Clawing
Shouting

You have a decision to make

Her voice says it first
Then yours
Then mine

You have a decision to make

But I’ve already made it
I just need to let myself
Know

So much
Is far and gone from me
And still I fight
For my soul to be free

I've taken chances
Walked a dark road
Advice I never took
And in my mistakes it showed
Now here I stand
At this forked crossroad

I can drop all my fears
Look this new future in the face
Or forever run in darkness
While my demons I chase

I close my eyes
Open my thoughts
And nothing makes sense
The splinters dig deeper
The longer I stand on this fence

My legs are tired and broken
From these circles I've paced
While these voices in my head
Leave me to sigh in disgrace

If the decision I make
Is to go forth and succeed
It may be what will
Set my soul to be freed

Or it could bring more darkness
Leave me worse than before
This is why my mind
Is constantly at war
I need to make this choice
So my soul can finally soar.

I don't want my name on a long list of options,
I want who I am to be a choice in anothers eyes.
My body, is not an option to use, play with or pull the strings and control like a puppet.
My mind isn't a game to reach your highscore or play until you get bored.
I am not an option,
Nor are you.
I am a choice,
A decision.

i think about what happens if
someone really special
came into my life.
maybe not just someone special, but,
making friends as well.

we might have a small connection,
whether it would be similar
hobbies, tastes, interests,
whatever, same thing,
and we would be really comfortable
with each other.
we would just have a good time
talking to one another.

but there would always be a time
where i would get too comfortable.
a bit too personal.

i would keep bringing up my insecurities,
a bit of my past,
my bad habits,
and the fears that i have
that relate to the world we all live in.
i guess you can say that
turning just a regular conversation
to a therapy session
would be one of my bad habits.

but thinking about it,
i forget that everyone
has their own weaknesses,
and there's going to be a point in time
where we're going to
open up to them about it.
yes, i understand that some people
would like to hide certain problems to themselves
which i still have a hard time trying to do,
but at the end of the day,
we're going to show other people
our weakness at some point.

and once i tell the other person
my weaknesses, my demons,
i would always beat myself up
and punish myself
that i had lost another opportunity
of making a new friend.
but really, it's them to decide
whether they want to accept
my flaws or not.

you either stay friends with me
and accept me,
no matter what mistake i make,
or leave and go meet someone new.
that is all up to you.
your choice.

In the beginning it was beautiful, Every day so romantic, Thanking God for sending me such an amazing human being. But seasons change and people forget what they proclaimed.

Waiting for your phone call even though it never came. I can't make you love me the way you did before. Your love is confusing yet tantalizing. Like a drug I keep going and screaming your name.

To stay with you is a pattern but for some It's a pattern of disbelief. I don't even blame them because I struggle to plan even the simplest of things. Let alone thinking I'm in love with the commander in chief.

Make up your mind. I want you. I hate you. I don't love you. This is a danger zone. I'm crazy over you but despise everything about you. You're down for the ride but we both are not ready for a lifetime.

Who cares right? Rollercoasters have their highs and lows and still are lots of fun. Love is not set by definition but the way you make me feel. So I guess if I'm happy for a short time It's better than being sad till the end of time.