I said no,
He insisted.
I pushed him away,
But he didn't care.
I pushed, pushed and pushed...
But he was stronger than me.
"Come here let me kiss you"-He whispered
"No I don't want to"- I replied with my body showing signs of uncomfortableness.
But he still replied: "Just one kiss.", I stayed mute my body trying to fight.
I closed my eyes in despair,
I knew I wouldn't get away.
He kissed me, and I just wanted to dissapear.
I said no.
He insisted,
Pulled me closer,closer and closer.
Touched me, groped me, all over my body without consent.
I was 12 but I still feel his presence.

Sadness, tears of water
Can't I just make them go faster

Tension, no words
Holding back emotions
Hidden in a secret place
Unfortunately, they always escape

But they're not real
And they don't exist
Yet I can't help, I always miss
Your voice, making me feel
Like the happiest girl that's ever been

Yet I cry and cry
Waiting for you to see the pain through my eye
But then I remember
That I'll never get better

And that I'm always the one to cry
I'm always the one to ask why
Just because I'm always the one to say goodbye

When I'm no longer in control
I always tend to hold
Onto the empty space where you used to be
With a strong, painful pain piercing right through me

Silence
Is what you did
Silence
Is what you said
Silence
Is all I get

Begging
For words
Begging
For something
Begging
You to say anything

Time passed
You haven't called
Time passed
I haven't stopped
Crying

"I need you" was all I said
Silence is what I get
"Say something" I begged
Silence is all I get

Did I say something way too honest?
Did I make you run and hide?
Did I really say something that bad?
Or I should've kept my mouth shut?

I wish I understood the silence
I wish I knew what to do
To ******* get to talk to you

And I'm sorry
For always crying
And I'm sorry
I talked about it
But please, I don't deserve silence

I don't know how to start this
But I swear it's ******* with my mind
Cause the way you never miss
And the way it makes me cry

Why's she always first?
And the way you always seem to make it worse
Why can't I just ignore it?
For her I'd just die for it

It makes me sick
It makes me cry
It makes me wish I could denie
Denie the fact that she's important
To repair your broken comportment

I hate your jokes
I hate my life
It's tiring me
It makes me die

And yet I always seem to come back trying
Trying to keep myself from falling
Into that deep cage again
Where I never seem to be the same

And I love her
I really do
But your indecisive way of being "you"
Makes my mind go back again
To the place I've always fell

And I tired to ignore it
Annoyed I avoided
Avoided my feelings
Desperate to cover the grave
Where I hid my toxic trait.

Dreaming about you almost every night
Forgot about my ex love, and last time I cried
I think I'd be ok in my own fantasy world
Cause they won't be able to even say a word

I stare at the lonesome creature in the mirror;
The dull blue eyes share stories,
But they will never be told again.
The sickly pale skin yearning for the light,
The cracked lips that remained in a frown,
Limbs that looked out of place,
Hair that was wild in the worst way,
The clothes that felt like they never fit,
Was this who I was supposed to be?