Pots with feelings littered here
Some with courage, others fear
The day we know will draw so near...
But death is certain, crystal clear.

Pots with cracks will herd their steer,
And, from the cracks, eyes peek and peer
The un-chipped *** just cannot see
Through imperfection, we find beauty.

You are the
        window
              to my pain
  Cloudy with
            no chance of clarity
      I can see
               how far
away you are
                    Out of focus,
           still hurting me
                      *so easily

tile covers the floor and the wall and the ceiling
it sends my head spinning.
glorious white has faded to decaying yellow
cracks and grime populate this darkness.
a damp chill settles in the air
only broken up by the occasional subway train
out of the vacuum of the tunnels.
fast food wrappers covered in lipstick stains tumble in the wake of passing crowds,
the only testament to the world up above.
it's quite possible to believe that
nothing exists
besides these miles of tunnels
and endless rows of splintered tiles.
from the depths within
demonic sounds terrorize
and with the red lights that draw ever closer
right on schedule,
it's not hard to believe the veil is thinner here
in this never-resting place
and an energy surge
or the blink of an eye
could turn these diluted colors
to black and red and white
with no way back up to the city streets you once thought you knew

When a heart shatters
And you glue it back together
Piece by piece
It will never be the same
No matter how hard you try
Visible cracks are left behind

The cracks in my skin reveal the truth.
The reality that I'm breaking.
My whole being is destroyed slowly
to leave the remains of nothing,
nothing left but a broken shell.

The hollow shell of an empty human.
A forgotten soul neglected in the corners of a dark room.
Left to gather dust and anything possible
to have some sort of value,
to find purpose.

My skin breaks away from me like it never belonged.
Cell by cell my meaning is lost
and that all is left is bones for dead.

But until I get to that point my skin will crack,
and will continue to crack until I'm gone.

In the time you were gone, I found myself filled with extra space. Nothing too obvious; not gaping holes in my stomach, nor chunks from my arm. Rather, they were minute cracks that ensnared me. These unwanted holes appeared at random; when someone spoke of sandwiches, I felt a soft ***** in the back of my mind. When I encountered a full moon, I felt a throb in the tips of my fingers. And sometimes, when I caught sight of a dollar bill, a pang of nostalgia bit me somewhere deep down in my chest. This discomfort never lasted long. These cracks never formed one excruciating pain – the kind that fully consumes, but diminishes over time like a large hole in a wall that will soon be filled in. These cracks I felt, this empty space, it affected me demurely. As some cracks were filled in, new ones spread forth. My disrepair did not increase nor decrease in the years to come, but rather, spread out to different locations, as I patched and filled along the way. My foundation as a person grew perpetually flawed, yet remained stable enough to stay upright. My eventual remedy was to simply remember this; I am a structure made of concrete. Wear me down, and all you get is more concrete. In this way, it was okay that you were gone. In this way, I discovered the weight of time and also, the art of saying goodbye.

Just a slip, a little trip, a lurch, maybe hit the lip, a stumble, a dip, the realization that that gravity's waiting for us to succumb to the drop. Then comes the fall, once and for all. The embrace of waitlessness, tumbling and turning, careening and cursing. the terror, the shift, the dark, the bliss. But all for not, for nobodies tripped, it was all on your head, you just had an anxious fit. So slow your breathing, calm your mind, get it together and get back in line.

No matter how loud I dream,
I might still be drowning deep

Into the silver your delusional eyes scream
And Into the rain the sky weeps

You kept my dream protected within your fist,
the secret dream that I built from dust.

I gave you all of me over and over,
And I kept sinking lower and lower.

I sank into the realization that it's real,
I was torn and It was so hard to believe

And through the mist,
You promised, We'll rise again

And told me that you'll keep your promises
And won't just run away like others did

But still your gone and I can't find you.
I search the sky and my gaze lands on the same star.

I die again and again wondering if that's where you live,
But an illusion of your smile is all you ever give.

My soul is riven with cracks so deep and I think,
maybe someday they'll break through the surface of my skin.

Honey, please come back to me again,
Please don't let another wish go in vain

                                                               -MAY

It knocked on my door
the cracked door the guarded
the core of what I call home

I have glued it so many times
sometimes with cheap adhesive
others, I thought I'd be artsy
and used gold
maybe something broken can be beautiful
or so I thought

It was cold outside
do you think that's why it knocked?
It wanted some sanctuary some ****** heat?

It knocked with all its might
I was alone inside, enjoying my aloneness
with glue, sticking together the remains
of time

"Go away"
I screamed, I knew who it was
the door was shaking with every pound
the core of this chamber was vibrating
rippling fear, well it's not fear per say
but something I've felt before
something familiar

"I don't want you here"
I yelled it the same way
I'd say it to a returning lover
******* and your doings

The wind blew and blew
and the pounding escalated
so did my screams

I can foretell what it wants
from the pounding
I can feel it again  
just like how a song can ignite
feelings from the past
just like a cologne can time travel you
to that moment, on that street
I know what it wants

Suddenly the pounding stopped
so did the nostalgia trip
I came back to reality
with a glue stick in my hand
and a shard of glass in the other
"caution fragile pieces can cause bleeding"

My mind was not completely at peace
curiosity kicked in, OH LORD IT DID
I jolted to the door
and peeked from the peep hole
there it was, in a raincoat
standing there, looking back at me

Frantic, I felt my knees weaken
the mind sparked some logic
but the heart, that stupid heart
embraced everything else

"Let me in
I miss my home, I miss the warmth
I can see that you glued the door
the one I jolted from
the one I cracked and broke"

I was scared, it was fear this time
mixed with bits and pieces of adrenaline
"I know this feeling, I know it"
I recounted in my head, making sure
it was engraved in my thoughts

"but if I do, it's different now
this house is no longer a home
it's cushioned with protection
glued with experience
decorated with time
and fortified by mental rationale"

It knocked again
like an angry lover
aching to touch his woman again
like an insane human
coming off of his prozac

"It's time, you're rotting
from the inside, I know your beauty is eternal
but it's time you let me in"

Tears ran down my cheeks
I do miss the feeling
of sweaty palms, of butterflies
that feeling of fading into one
of smiling, of pausing time

But I do know that if I open that door
I will be the
person
to throw him out again
breaking
my cracked door
starting from scratch

What do you think?
Should I let him in
this
time
around?

or shall I wait
for the person
who comes jolting through
burning my door with passion
surprising
my core?