The most brave thing
You must do in the day
Is to wake up and face it!

A crippling heaviness
Enters the room
I’m trembling
I break out in a cold sweat
The dolls on the stand
Are securely locked in their case
Their sad eyes watch as he
Inches closure and silent screams
Fill the space.

He whispers violent things
And spits in my face.
I succumb to his lingering words
As I forget how to breathe
I lost my voice
It know belongs to him.

These earthquakes come and go
Awakening the anger within
I drank the poison from the fire of your lies
It burnt, but I kept drinking
Because it's all I've ever known.

Your color turned gray
I struggle to the surface
With an anchor the size of my guilt
Pulling me under the entire way up
So full of life we once were.
When your heart was in the right place
Or so you made me believe.

Sister and mother despair
Building castles in Spain
They take the threshold
May their glory reign
They disappear for awhile
strolling down memory lane
And return only with
Their decaying growing pains
One gave birth to the fire
The other the Descendant of flames.

Lord, help me be open so that I can receive Your Will
Help me be silent so that I can hear Your Will
Grant me courage Lord so that I can do Your Will.
Amen

Things are getting out of hand.
Peace is no where to be found.
I'm tired of contemplating,
And trying to understand,
What can't be comprehended.
My sanity fell into a
Haystack of needles.

In order to reclaim it
I will have to bleed.
There are no easy answers.
Yet answers are what I need.
How can I make amends
When I still don't understand
Who I'm supposed to be?

This story is a difficult one to tell.
Especially when it comes
To telling it well from start to finish.
And in order to do so
I need to remove myself
From this diseased prison cell.
Then maybe I will find
The redemption I long for
And lift this evil spell.

Then maybe I’ll be reborn
From the ashes of myself

I'm a force to be reckoned with
So I don't recommend double crossing me
If you come across me
I’ve been known as the criminal in town
****** for being different and causing mayhem

It is not my desire to watch the world burn
And I’ve tried putting out this fire within me
So I don’t set fire to the world around me
But I don't know how much longer
I can hold it in before my covers blown

The innocents cannot be unpunished
So why are they blamed and
Imprisoned for other people’s actions
There are so many stories to be told
So many victims waiting for the moment
To speak their truth and let the real villains be known

Under the velveteen red moon
I shall come a knocking,
Raising you from your slumber
Of dreamless sleep,
To cast your eye over your earthly deeds.
Will there be moments of wonder and awe?
Love, comfort and joy?
Or regrets and self-loathing?

You only have one chance at this game called life,
So throw the dice,
And make of it what you will,
No matter what life throws you.

But I beseech you to play the winner,
Not the victim,
Be your own warrior to the end,
Courage and compassion
Your soulmates,
And love, your sword.

it takes courage to step out the door;
to pick your battles,
when there’s nothing left fighting for.