Loving me
Is some kind of chore apparently
From what I see
It seems to be done begrudgingly
It is mostly
Basic surface level pageantry
So there is a "we"
But my end can be changed out if need be
The worst part has to be
That I can't help but give completely
And organically
Which always finds it's way around to biting me in the *****

©2024

How wrong can one living entity be?
If I were to prove the possibility of constantly,
Alongside the concept of completely
If I were to say to you it's daily, weekly, monthly, yearly
And remind of the times it's happens a couple minutes early
If I were to let you see,
Let you watch it play out in me,
Would you keep questioning me?
Would you finally let me be?
Just leave me to wallow in this myriad of pity
Allowing me to then get back to tripping over my own two feet for at least the rest of my eternity
I'm okay with it, really

©2024

It's hard to imagine anyone loving me
Especially
When I hate me so completely
I'm sorry
But if I have to love myself
In order
To feel love from anyone else
I might as well put myself on the shelf
Out of reach from everyone else
I'm afraid love will never win
It's not as easy as just letting it in
I have to keep battlin'
Just to keep from drownin'
Due to a timeline filled with so much abandonment and rejection
Over and over and once again,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry my sorry means little to nothin'
My devotion didn't start out this thin
This is the outcome of both creation and evolution
Going head to head,
And coming out in the end,
As a problem with no solution

©2024

I've shut down so completely it's profound and I've now lost touch with reality
What I want to be and what I'll never be eventually co-mingle and become one entity
The blasphemy, the phony sanctimony and hypocrisy blast from me
I try awkwardly to juggle all three, run 'em up the flag pole, wait and see
Hear ye, hear ye...another blunder here for your amusement, come see
Woe is me! An empty plea for pity ******* by a request to be put out of my misery
It's plane to see, at least by me, that I'm my own worst enemy, I'm no friend to me
Bad karma stacks rapidly atop the early onset of senility
Losing my mind was an inevitability but that was my only company
...now it's only me...
The notion that behind every smile you'll find your happy is, in it's self, a fallacy

©2023