It seems like the entire world knows
how to dance except for me.

There must be a metronome
that ticks the tempo
right out of the torso
of Mother Nature herself
but I cannot seem to tune in.
Everywhere around me
I can see a rhythm that refuses
to run through me like it somehow knows
that I am always going to be that one kid
left standing with my back against
the gym wall and the beat is just another club
that cannot afford to let any losers in.

I see the leaves—crisp hues of
yellow-bleeding-into-orange,
orange-bleeding-into-brown—
being directed by the air that they cut
as they learn to dance the American Waltz
left box, right box,
underarm turn,
hesitation step
spinning to the ground
and swell approaches the shore
carrying forward a small roar,
energy circling from deep to shallow,
waves shoaling, rising up,
moving along to the Foxtrot
feather step, three step,
natural turn,
hover cross
uncurling onto the shore.

But still, after all of these years,
I am here with shoulder blades pressed to cinderblocks
trying to tap into the meter while I tap my toe
inside of my shoe so the mountains will not shed rocks
like tears that come along with steady laughter.

Fluttering eyelids.
Yawn once, then once again.
"No more" my liver forbids.
Neon lights simmer behind my eyes.
Ah.
                                 You sent me a sunrise.

Mindlessly minding my day
Finding comfort with a glass of Bailey’s
I think her name was Hayley, goodness
Long and beautiful hair, very difficult not to stare
Had me thinking of sinful things while I’m munching on chicken wings

Her smile was illuminating, her style rejuvenating
Gave my friends that extra reason to stick around for a while
We were planning a collision course, gaining an endorsement
Eye contact initiated, very little forcing, and well

I come closer to her, our eyes were meeting
Dropping some bad jokes, thinking "what a terrible greeting'"
But she giggled, liked the attempt; that caught me off guard
Grabbing my arm, took me away and felt a sense of satisfaction

The two of us secluded and I felt the attraction
Her body was a temple you couldn’t help but admire
She had a silky dark skintight dress causing a fire
Walking on those black leather boots - a dame I desired
                                                         ­     
Running from harder times, escaping to the abyss
She told me it’s hard to find an honest man who assists
Hoping that things would change and searching for honest assistance
I promise her a better future with a man who listens

With a feeling of inspiration, end up leaving the club
Rewarded for my instigation, Hayley's squeezing a hug
Within minutes we make our way across the popular pubs
Reaching my place also with haste, kicked off the shoes on the rug

Speak the language of the mental, hunger reaches my head
Stroking her hair, gasping for air while laying on my bed
Her body screamed for attention; did I forget to mention
My ability to keep her guessing made her want to kiss me
And wish to mission it to Hawaii? God I loved her body.

Exhausted, our love-making was tremendously physical
Suddenly, one-night stand broken, damage is critical
Liquor leaks on the mental window, pleasure is minimal

The next morning rises, we're falling apart
Hayley regrets while getting dressed, not knowing where to start
She's thanking me and quite thankfully wants to see me again
But under different circumstances, so I fall where I stand

It ain’t a story for the faint of heart but mine was fainting
Broken heart, I wrote the part hoping that she was waiting patiently
But she came and went, the world is evil again
Just like a *** left in the cold, unbearable to withstand

Think I'm grateful? Meaningless love, eerily painful.
Victim of the curse: caring too much.
Victim of the curse: sharing too much.

When I see her dancing
I feel nothing
Old ladies and sticks
Beat my brow.
How many times
Will I have to see a shiver
To know it's not enough?
How many times
Will I have to see them shy
To realise I want to shrivel
While this thing
Is in me?

Don't dance, but feel something
Because I am poisoned
And feel nothing
Anymore.
Can't you sing?
Can't...
Can't...
Can't you dance?
Then why,
Why should I care,
For the nothing
In you and me
That I love
More than
That tight dress you're wearing?

Why is spread thinly
On my ****-yourself brow.
Just take me,

I never knew anything else.

inspiration and imagination leeks through the hollow walls and onto the sticky floor of strawberry flavoured *****.
boys and girls kiss and touch while the poison seeps into their blood and i sit and
watch
everything
i watch the liquor move
i watch the bodies
i watch the sticky ecstasy in the air
i feel too
i feel the breath of my peers
i feel the heat of close skin
i feel the lips of strangers on my neck
i feel strangers hands run up my thighs
i watch and i feel and i experience and i submerge into a world that's unlike anything ive ever seen
it's a world so far from my cautious thoughts and frightened heart
here i can taste your skin on my teeth and i can feel your nails dig into my rib cage as your lips become hypnotic and addictive
here i am wrong in a devils game

Just a gang, a club, I guess,
Where subjects like war and cheese and mess,
Are passed around the room like a bottle of red.
A platonic marriage but sort of unsaid.
Walk in with a bottle, and a story and a sigh,
And leave with a plan and a slightly slurred 'goodbye!'

When you've cried so much you've that ache in your teeth,
It's ears and cheers and arms to sit 'neath.
To laugh so hard and feel so full of us,
What a gang we are, worth the stupid bus.

We can be each other's heroes, isn't that ****** nice?
To be in love forever, in a messed up paradise.
Yeah we're a gang alright, and a party we can throw,
Just as soon as Christmas ends, or dr who, ya know.

I can see us
Living in a small apartment
We don't know what we're doing
No plans
Figuring it out as we go along

I can see us
25 years old
Just ditched the club
Now we're sitting in the tub with a bottle of wine
Tell me all your fears and I'll tell you mine

I can see us
Graduated college
Finding jobs in our degreed careers
Just trying to get by

I can see us
We've got two kids now
Struggling to be the best we can be
Cause there are little eyes watching everything

I can see us
We're retired now
Resting happily
We still hold hands while making plans
Age doesn't mean a thing

I can see us
I don't know where we are now
In some other world
Nothing will separate us
Our love will be strong
We'll always find each other
For us there is no death do us part
Together forever
And forever is just the start

The president of the horticulture club
thumbs the violet leaves of a aconite
ignoring the shooting pain crawling on her skin.
The other members glare at her,
waiting for the reaction-
touch the frail plant
and your mouth is sure to set on fire.
The contact she has on the flower
is insanely dangerous.
Potent alkaloids bloom overhead
and she continues to breathe in deeply as if she is trying to swallow
the strong, acrid taste of the atmosphere,
which should have sent her into a frenzy of disorientation
and seizures of her small limbs
but at last, she glances
at the frozen treasurer and spoke calmly, her mouth slouching,
"Are you writing this down?
I want the future of this club
to know to never touch plants
without doing their research."
Then she blinks,
slumps against the bench,
undeterred.