como un poema a medio recitar,
como una película con final abierto,
con el corazón lleno de pesar
observo un árido desierto
donde antes había mar

I don’t want to whisper anymore,
nor wish for stolen glances
to be my messenger,
odd hours and pillow talks
on different beds miles away
have now become my misery.
The faucet of excuses
to meet you in person
and pet my pinings to sleep
has run itself dry.
I wish to say it aloud
for your heart to hear
and the universe to register.
I love you.
I love you,
and I am left with no will, nor patience
to not be with you.
To be around you
is no longer flattering,
for in the moon and musk
I see distances and measures
that pull at the chords of my longing
and render me a sweet wailing
in its own wake.
I want to come home now,
make my bed with you
keep the phone aside and hold you.
I want my emptiness filled
with your touch
and find my closure  
in the heaves of your breathing.
Take me in
and leave me in no doubt,
for I would live a moment with you
than a lifetime without.

Hands holding onto her hips,
breaths bouncing with bliss,
we both crave just one more kiss.
Hands now on the door,
pouring out even from my pores,
we both look to adore.
I love her in my life,
but this feels like so much strife,
so I need to just let her go.
No, she’s not near anymore,
yet the water still flows,
my garden of unemployed roses still grows.
Any more guilt and I’ll hit the floor.

Why hold guilt, a better man sees chance.
I grab her waist, just hoping we dance.
It worked but, she's just looking for free lance.
I keep coming. Closing the distance.
For her, I’ll go the distance.
But why do I feel this shame?
She ended things so I’m not to blame.
But her ocean eyes still hold my flame,
so for love again should I change my aim?
My fear should be cooler,
my wish was to move her. Closer.
Just a bit closer. But I can’t reach forever.
I loved her so I can’t seem to forget her.
I just miss the safety in us being together.
Her warmth was enough and I never needed a sweater.
And this passion to love what I’ve seen,
seems like beams of an eternal dream. A racing bee
is to me, as a honey-laced flower is to she.
I’m stuck and falling even though the leaves are changing;
maybe I should move on and leave her to be.
But if you truly love, is it right to flee?

Smiles and flowers live in those moments
Where love will last forever.
Memories made of enchanting things
Are held by us together.
Beautiful thoughts like lakeside shores,
Flood me everyday.
Springtime is a thought that passes,
But love resides always.
Only happiness exists these days
When thinking back to sweet times.
Like lyrics in a melody,
It sounds quite like paradise.
Honey suckles fill the air
In that field of love.
Clouds start to gather
While rain pours down
On us from up above.
Laughter is all the remains now
When thinking of the past.
The only thing that resides there now,
Is a love that will forever last.
©KSS 2012

so i guess this is it,
the end of forever;
no one could've seen this coming.
the separation of past, present, and future.

past:
a smile from you
could spawn
a kaleidoscope of monarchs
in the pit of my stomach.
i fell in love
with the way you rested your chin
upon my head,
we were invincible.
i could have laid in your arms
for years.
i would have.
i had enough hope to feed a village.

present:
you tell me
this was long overdue,
that we're past our prime,
but there's no expiration date
on the sound of your laughter.
how do i explain to you
there are parts of my life
that move slower
without you in them?
today i am a quiet shade of blue.

future:
people will ask me
what was loving him like?
and i will smile and say
it was as if
the sadness had never swept me
under the rug.
i will tell them
how i felt whole,
how you gave me something
to look forward to.
i will tell them
how you lit a fire in my chest
and evacuated only yourself.
no words,
no warning,
not even the butterflies
made it out alive.
i should have known this was coming
by the way you always reeked of smoke
and bad intentions.

you see,
i confused you for someone
who would hold my hand
when things got dark.

i just wish i had some closure.
j.c.

Forgetting you is something I can't seem to do

I wished for closure upon your lips.

All of me wants all of you

But, I think the idea of us is what I'll truly miss.

When I called
I said I needed resolution
When we met
That’s what you gave me

I could see it cost you
When you wanted to hold me.
Your hands reached for me
but made do with air.

We were so short lived
innocent of body but
falling in love is not innocent
when married to others.

Your child needs to see you
And you need him
You will continue
wife of coercive control
and I will let you.

Today I’ve woken
With a calm about me
Tentative tranquility.
I’ll never forget you.

This feeling that I’m feeling
Is like a hole
Or a sore spot that I keep poking
Or a memory that I reflexively
bring up
Again and again.

It feels like a disability today
I can’t be a normal human today
I will take one day to
honour what we had,
grieve the loss (again),
note the closure, and,
hopefully -
rise stronger and move forward.