im scared im scared that one day our long embraces will evolve to just a faint smile im scared that one day we will merely wave when we see each other im scared that one day we wont even wave we might just glance at each other not so long ago, we spent every waking minute together not so long ago, i laid in your bed and laughed all night with you not so long ago, we dreaded for the time i had to go home not so long ago, we told everything to each other not so long ago, we always had something to talk about not so long ago, we would go on long walks just because not so long ago, we would sneak off at 2 AM to watch the stars not so long ago, we laid on my shed roof in the middle of the night just to watch the sky and talk not so long ago, we laid on your kitchen floor rolling in laughter not so long ago, we cried in each others arms not so long ago, we composed hilarious songs in your room just to belt them out so that your dad would hear how dumb we were not so long ago, we laid together and watched the fault in our stars not so long ago we say but it seems so long ago it seems like a distant memory
Radioactive ammunition painfully entering My space that is barely big enough to breathe, I scream "Reality anyone probably experiences" And it justifies the minimization of my trauma while the Real answers plead escape From the corners of my soul Leaving me decomposing slowly in a silent anguish as Repeating abuse provokes emotionlessness When will these flashbacks cease to live within me? This Repressed anger precedes exhaustion If only I could break through the dams which hold my suffering and Release all pain engulfing My lungs and plaguing my hindered consciousness and I wish I could just say it But When I think of him I cannot breathe Diminished by my own fear and shame I've lost my voice once more
So I'll try to spell it out for you
Because I can't say it out loud, I spell it out. Pay attention to the repetition of certain first letters.