Carefully you cut my hair.
The fingers of your hands slid through the blanket of my head.
I looked at your eyes.
Filled with such focus and concentration.
Afraid to talk I tie a knot with my fingers.
Afraid to talk, I made excuses.
Afraid to talk, I tap my foot.
Yet when I opened up.
You revealed to me the normals of your life.
But really a surprise to this life of mine.
Fellow hairdresser, as I sit in the chair.
carefully cutting my hair.
With a scissor on his wrinkled hands.
Maybe I should be more open.
But I should stay closed sometimes.
Like maybe...a half-opened door...

I gave her a red rose
It was closed and fresh
She accepted the red rose
But she did not care the rose

The rose remained closed and dry
And the color went from red to black
Just like my heart
That I gave her.

Every time I close my eyes, I fantasize every single detail of cutting myself into pieces, escaping my skin. I'd sit in a moment where I can't fake it anymore, the world just tells me to close my eyes and let the static in my ears grow louder. Don't fight it anymore. It's you. Eventually, it will consume me and I wouldn't have to do anything anymore.

I was walking in this dark road, tempted to just lie in the middle of the wet floor and let my screams out. I want my tears to escape me, at last. My brain was ready not to mind all the eyes to see, it was ready not to mind the people I know to know how badly scarred and scared I was, my blurry eyes were ready to see their figures to walk away from me. But I was a vessel, too thick, the walls aren't planning to back down, and I'm left inside it powerless

No matter the desire to be open to all things,
We are always a close-minded people;
After all, does skin not enwrap
The sinuses of our imagination, thinking, and what we allow
To enter our cognition?

People have led me to believe that I am not good enough
They don’t think of the consequences of what they say anymore
I cry behind closed doors wondering what I did wrong to be the way I am

To death in love!
The eye of ones heart closes for their beloved, their most precious treasure of them all clouded by emotions stored for them deep within
Unanswered love leads to a stinging mind of the subscocious, caught and rose by a burning ember of feelings, turning into an inferno,
Blinded by it, they will not acknowledge the falsities of their partner, nor their mistakes or even their treaciousness, as for them he is perfect, conciously imaged as the ideal and the best they ever had,
But no! God forbids, they learn about the art of blinding love while they sink to the bottom of a sea of passion and affection, in a last remote of a courtain call to simple yet manifest carelessness,
Small lies lead to grand falsities overlooked by a noncaring closed eye
Rekindled in a dream they rather follow their instincs than the truth,
Illusions cast by embers of love deep within the unconcious, like a courtain to be blocked from all light, holding on to dear of what is loved and cherished, praised and adored, an emotion leading stray,
The philosophy of a hated person, would be to never close the open eye of ones heart, so you fall not too hard when you begin to love,
But when all falls apart, realisation is like the thorns of countless roses
It is the heart sign of selfless love.

~ Umi