I miss love in my life.
Where are you? I miss you.
Did you forget my address?
It's too long I didn't feel butterflies.
When to meet my bellowed.
Butterflies are not here anymore.

I´ll be there when you will come.
And you will give me everything what I miss.
What I even didn´t know I need.
I need to feel more like me.
Like me before.
It will be my new me belonging to you.

I once mistook the fresh soil
you poured
down my throat
for butterflies.
But love should not
crawl
deep inside you
And tie
your vocal chords
in knots.

Gardens now infest my lungs
in the same ****** place
where you carefully
dug yourself
a grave.
I make bouquets
with the flowers
that burst
from the rotting marrow
of your
bones.
            —“your absence taught me fertility”

My body causes
a chemical reaction,
with the help from
the laws of attraction.

I store a nectar
my pheromones release,
it serves a delicious
butterfly feed.

Oxytocin
is what it's called,
in my belly is
where it’s installed.

The butterflies swarm
when oxytocin’s produced.
They come to digest
the catalytic juice.

Flipping and turning
eating ravenously,
filling me with bliss
a divine ecstasy.

There is no other feeling
that I can compare,
when the butterflies dine
from my stomach lair.

That feeling you get
In your stomach
When your heart's broken.....
It's like all the butterflies just.....
Died.

How long has it been
since you felt the butterflies
flying from within?

3:49 PM
5/11/20

A strange soft stirring begins in my heart
I’m not sure what caused this fluttering to start
Like innocence still uncorrupted captured in butterflies
Except my stomach is no longer where the majority flies
But just a little while ago a few still hovered there
But to trap or imprison them I wouldn’t dare
There hides a few more in the lungs in my chest
Only flap wings when I can’t catch my breath
When silence is the single sentence I have to not speak
Your smile leaves me speechless
Knees growing weak
No clock
No noise
All surroundings fade away
Colors suddenly emerge where before was only grey
Waiting for your melodic voice to disrupt that magic spell
Heaven momentarily suspended til one word snaps me back into hell
The illusion of perfection not once falters or affrights
As you come closer the swarm inside my body takes off in simultaneous flight
It’s mindblowing the way my senses react when you are near
How you still manage to give me butterflies even after all these years

he's nice
and so is he
but why don't i
feel anything?
where are the butterflies
and love notes?