tears sting the corners of my eyes
you wrote me a *****-slap
and wanted me to "get real"
well...here it is...
i speak in two languages daily
and learned how to negotiate the world of the absurd
you only needed to learn one to survive
and you obviously did that well
enough to feel that you have the god-given right to point your
snow-white fingers at the rest of us and shake your head in pity
I see you wrote me
And I will try to reply
Please... take a number
2. Love me NOW, ******!
I can only wait so long
Foles tricks and gains the summit
Brady bottoms out
Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad--
Still behold me at your side.
Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care.
Say the devil touched my tongue--
Still you have my heart to wear.
But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
I do not like my state of mind;
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at earnest, simple folk.
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick, I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore;
I do not like me anymore.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men--
I'm due to fall in love again.
If I had a shiny gun
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains
Or had I some poison gas
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.
But I have no legal weapon--
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.
One of my favourite wits of all time.