Deep down from the darkest space
The lifeless voice screams in fear
"Someone get me out of here"
When I go near the voice,
That was not someone else
What I saw was my own soul
Screaming there loud.
It's get suffocated by the facades
I have to wear in front of others.
It's exhausted of taking every breath
As the choice made by other's.
It want to breath without the rules.
It want to smile without the limits.

Breath
                                          In
                                                                               Out

Think of rain not pain
Think of pages not rages
Think of the calm not the bomb

Find something to ground you,
Then...                                              Breath
                                 In              
                                                                              Out
                                    In
                                                                    Out

Eyes like the galaxies
You cannot help but lose your thought
A smile that warms your heart
To the core
That you get so nervous
You still cannot remember
What you wanted to say
You look over their shoulder
For your thought process to begin again
You clear your throat
Look down
Deep breath
Just relax and
Let’s try this again

The words can’t escape me
I’m bending and I’m breaking
I’m holding onto a thin line
Grasping onto the little sanity I have left
Death is always near
There are often times I wish I wasn’t here
Dreams and reality seem to fade
I don’t know what’s real anymore it feels like I’m never awake
Can this all be a dream for goodness sake
Depression swoops in and out of my life and drains me
Anxiety knows exactly how to take me
Deep into this pit of doubt and despair
Wishing sometimes I had an angel to just take me there
See the light on the end of the tunnel that I hold onto so near
This isn’t a poem about suicide so no worries there now, dear
It’s more about how the days used to blossom and now about how I’m feeling numb inside with no one left to care
I mean truly what’s the point in life?
Sick of hearing everything works out right
My bipolar mind can’t make it out tonight
Dowsing myself in pills and whiskey
Hoping for a moment these feelings of guilt slip me
It’s hard when no one truly understands, just hoping one day someone will truly comprehend
I started smoking again to help with the anxiety that haunts my thoughts
But sadly nicotine might be what ends up killing me and I’ll be the one to haunt
Breath a breathe deeply into my lungs corroding my insides
I rather feel the pain from smoking than feeling nothing, but numb inside
**** my bipolar state of mind
Mood swings raging from highs to lows
I can’t chase these demons they sure know how to drown me until I have little room for growth
I’m not asking for pity, but just for someone to hold me for a second or two
I apologize my skies are grey not blue
Tell me it’s okay
That I’ll be okay
I keep reminding myself that I’m not my illness and yet it still taunts me
But how can one truly be themselves when their days are often clouded?
Where is my mind? I’m mentally, emotionally and physically drained
Often jaded
Happiness turns to sadness, sadness turns to anger
I feel bitter
Tired of watching as my life splinters
Here I am left alone hoping the ends near

With time the distance grew.

Prepared myself for weeks.

Like ripping of a band-aid, it had to be done.

Every breath, every hit on that button felt like a stab to my heart.

I heard your laugh, saw your smile in my head for one last time.

I close my eyes and remember.

I need you to be gone.

Fully and completely.

Keeping you means losing me.

For the last time..

..Delete.

One, close your eyes.
Two, take a deep breath.
Three, let it go.
Four, take a step forward and never look back.
Five, know your worth.

Remember, there is someone out there who is worth fighting for.