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Lilly F Aug 2021
the wait is too much to bear
each hour passed slower than the clouds
the anxiety ate me alive more than anything
or maybe it was the lack of motivation
or simply the mutual loneliness
whatever is it may be
it eats me alive like an animal picks at the roadkill carcass of his own brother
the same blood running through my veins makes my heart race
and the waiting,
the agonizing, torturous, waiting,
was hell disguised as purgatory.

Lilly F Aug 2021
maybe in some other life
we sit across from each other
at the kitchen table
and go over the grocery list

Lilly F Oct 2020
sometimes i wonder if you ever loved me.
maybe at some point, when i was happier and whole,
when you would ask me about my day,
when i would ask of yours,
when you would bring me home a sticker from work
and i would always ask you if you had to go back the next day,
when you would pack me lunches with Sunny D,
when i would draw you pictures,
but now there silence when you come home.
i don't see you in the mornings,
you don't bring home stickers,
i don't drink Sunny D anymore,
and my pictures are off the fridge and in the trash.
and i miss you while you're still here.
so maybe i'm the one that's gone.

Lilly F Jul 2020
i remember you whispering in my ear in mass when we were meant to be reciting our hail marys.
and daydreaming during the homilies of how dangerously strong our love may be if it was let known,
reverberating over holy lands,
overpowering the sounds of church bells.
but only the walls can hear our words over the loudly sung psalms
and only a god can see in the dark.
your love was architectural.
your love built me cathedrals,
your love built me empires.
the soft vibrations of your sweet love words bounced off the stain-glassed windows and silently drew an echo over the room,
through the pews, up to the sacred altar, presented as a gift to all.
a poet you are, my love,
a goddess, even more so,
with your words, you have the power to create
and with your love, you have the will to sanctify.
for churches are divine, and gods are ancient,
but you are you, forevermore, every century.

Lilly F Jul 2020
let me scream these words from the edge of the earth,
from the depth of my heart,
to your pretty little ears,
till my heart swells with the overwhelming, bittersweet pain
and my lungs turn blue.
"i love you, i love you, i love you."

Lilly F Jul 2020
it's like i've loved you before i could breathe.
it's like i've loved you since the first time i cried
and i cried because i couldn't find you.
our souls are connected,
veins to veins, with blood and life rushing through us as one.
i gravitate towards you
and if atoms tried to split between us
and break our bond once more, my love,
we may have to disprove the laws of science.
because you and i, we are forever and always,
past, present, and future.

Lilly F May 2020
the edge of summer
bursting adrenaline
the season flowing through our veins
while we wait patiently
in the fields of spring

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