You know
People are selfish
And they continue to hurt me
And you could say why not talk to them?
Explain or try?
There's never a point
In trying

They'll start denying
They'll start crying
To your face
While lying
Never making
A real effort
Never bothering
they can't afford
To change

Selfish in exchange
For my hurt feelings
Every single person.
I was born too kind
That's my issue
And it's not
Some kind of self pity
Tissue

It's true
I am not perfect
By no means
I've hurt others
Who didn't deserve it
I've made amends
I made effort
showed changed behavior
showed I savor
Making them
Feel better

Nobody
Does the same
Every one is to blame
Small or big
They hurt me
With a grin
They are selfish
Careless
And
Inconsiderate
I'm so tired
I might consider it

Being alone
Letting my anger show
Telling them all where
To ******* go
Letting go
For once
Not being nice
Being selfish
Like every other
*******
Guy

How can you all lie?
How can you all say you try?
And deny
With such a look
In your eye
You don't mean it
You cut me
I'm still bleeding

You are all wielding
The knife
This cold little life
You all play
Like it's a game
You're never to blame

Look inward
You selfish little flames
Burning out soon
Like a lying
Cheating groom
Figuring out
Your next
Move

Look inward
And see
Being selfish
acting carelessly
Gets you nowhere
Well maybe in this life
It'll get you somewhere
Desire is like fire you know
It burns out
Ashes are cold
And alone

So wherever you think you'll go
Remember you reap what you sow
You all told me I'm hard to hold
No,
I think it's you
You're all
Going to be
Lost in the cold

Never looking twice
At your own
Souls

radio radio radio
running running gone
playing drums, playing hits
i dont recognize a song

typing writing rhyming
my hands shake and curl
carrying notes on my phone
nothing heavier than words

wait wait wait maybe —
my voice caught in my chest
nothing beats the weight
of the words left unsaid

i’d step on your neck at the best of times but
i wish you the best of luck with the rest of your life
break a leg, hit your head, break every bone in your body
though i hope you make it out alive because i’d hate to feel sorry
i hope roses by your bedside would suffice for a goodbye
i hope we never have to speak for the rest of your long life
break a leg

~January
Time for resolutions,  opportunities. and changes. All I would think was, “Did I just blow open wide my world”. I’ve had enough of the disrespect, lack of appreciation and consideration. I lost 10 pounds within two weeks of saving myself. I felt the weight of my decision on my shoulders. But as I return the keys, returned the ring, took all my things and locked the door… a new person walked alongside me.
                                                    ~February
Romance, love, roses and celebration. I surrounded myself with friends and family. Old childhood friends, new forged friendships and kindness and patience. With truth, reveals secrets and deep thoughts that plagued myself and others, set free for healing to slip in. But I laugh again, I sing again. And all the while, that new person seems more familiar with each day.
                                                     ~March
­Luck, abundance and new beginnings. I noticed I think of you less, I think of me and my future more. I grieved the past, that present and the future I was looking forward to. However that future was bleak, filled with disappointment and tears. I now feel purposeful, proud, encouraged with the road my life has taken; as I look at this familiar person and say “hello again.”
                                                     ~ April
Renewal, resurrection, and blessings. Although at our anniversary and I could not be alone, I felt more seen and heard in this time than I had in the years I’ve been with you. I think of you in passing and the pain doesn’t sting as it use to. I feel sorry for that woman who held on for so long that she no longer has tears to cry. I shed that skin and can see how that familiar person alongside her as me. We are so alike now, she is so proud of her new and familiar skin and I am proud that I never lost her.
                                                      ~  May
I don't know what's in store. The ripples of my life have outreached my view but holding my own hand, nothing will hold me back. "Hello again" indeed.