I know exactly how you’re ******* your new girlfriend.

I know you’re going to play “Sing for Me” by Yellowcard in the background. I know you’re going to **** on that song like we never danced to it at prom, like you never learned it on acoustic for me, like we didn’t make out to it under my lit Christmas tree.

I know 9 times out of 10 she’s going to initiate and that will **** her off.

I know how long it’s going to last you, how you’re going to try so hard to old it in but in the pit of your stomach you know it doesn’t work.

I know your glasses are going to fog up and get smudged with face grease and you’ll need to Windex them afterward.

I know you’re going to say “I love you” to her right after. You’ll mean it, but regret that you do. Soon you’ll need to fix that.

I know you’re going to eat a bowl of Raisin Bran once you’ve dressed again.

I know you’re going to talk about this time until the next time, and she’ll give in just to shut you up. Also because she really does love you, and wants to please you.  

I know you’re going to beg she sleeps in your clothes without underwear before showering, and she will if you reciprocate.

I know you’re going to talk about *** like it’s divine, like it’s balanced on a pedestal located in the most untouched corner of Eden.

I know you’re going to treat all of this like a chocolate fountain, infinitely filling and never squandered.

And you haven’t been home, so you don’t know that the first place we made love is demolished to rubble and stone. You told me good things last forever,

But I know you lie. Yellowcard told us “no looking back when I am gone”, and for a year and a half those words were wedding vows.  

But you’re obsessed with conclusion, and feeling,

So you’ll leave her, just like you did me,

To feel again, because these love affairs are nothing but alcoholic drinks you choke down to numb.

You said don’t look back when you’re gone, but there is no forward from here.

Defying talk of cheap
corroboration
They have none to sweep.
Mounds of memories
Overdosed to last thought
Again defying my language
Your talk is cheap you bought.
So buy it somewhere else
I'm making a new life,
Defy me, I'll defy you
I'll live for me,
You can die for you.

My hands were sweaty and my stomach practiced summersaults
I wished for my body to fall into a black hole of space and time;
until this was all just a memory. I longed to be flooded with relief
I don't remember how we said hello, or if she asked how I was
Her lips were ruby red.
She once told me Sunday's were for band t-shirts and your boyfriend's sweats
I used to provide the latter
Now I don't focus on who does
She spoke a lot, I smoked a lot
She hasn't grown up much between our years of separation
Did I expect her to? Do I really mind that she hasn't?
She's still the same, she'll always be mine
In a parallel universe I'm waking up next to her
Butterflies bursting from my stomach as she pulls a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt over her head.
As I said goodbye all I was thinking was 'who the **** listens to Jethro Tull anymore?'

You were the first boy to tell me you loved me, over a text. Less than two months later I broke up with you, over a text. But you were sweet, I promise. A week after you told me you loved me you finally kissed me, & it was almost on the top of the ferris wheel but saved by the bell, your phone rang (vibrated) & then you almost got away with just kissing me on the cheek that night. But then you ran after me when I was going to head home & kissed me for the first time in the woods & I'll never forget how weird it feels to have someone's lips pressed against yours for the very first time.

２. It was a month after you asked me to be your girlfriend that we met. & the day we finally did I kissed you & you almost fainted because it was your first. You didn't say much & you wouldn't take your eyes off me, it was nice to be admired like you admired me, but I had to leave, I hope you understood why & that you're happier with her now.

３. On Valentine's Day I gave you your first kiss & probably a heartattack along with it, the way you looked at me then I'll never forget, but it was like kissing my brother.

４. After school one day I couldn't take it anymore & I just kissed you. You jumped back & had yourself a heartattack, something I commonly gave I guess. It was after you that I learned to be more careful, because your words cut like a knife, even after we stayed good friends back then.

５. It was so obvious how you staged that night, with the oblivion & the sunset & the music, but I'll admit, it was a very sweet first kiss & it almost makes me completely forget how terrible it was. But we kissed for almost a year after that until you gave me the last one, & I count that night as the last, not that stupid summer after where you dropped my heart again & used me. I'll never forget how hard it hurt to hear you tell me you loved me for the last time after you told me that I was perfect & kissed me with a pair of lips that sliced mine deep. I spent forever after that picking at my lips trying to remove every painful papercut your last words sealed with a kiss gave me.

６. I remember how drunk I was in love with the idea of us over a year before I got to kiss your lips. But when we kissed I felt nothing but lust, & it felt good then. It was too soon after the pain for me to remember how to kiss again, & you had to teach me, & then you taught me something else.

７. I dreamt about kissing your lips for almost every night of high school. & it was four & a half years later that I got to taste them. We probably could've fallen in love, y'know, but I'm glad we didn't. It was what it was & I'll take the memory with me, but that's all that was meant to happen between us.

８. My favourite number, & by far my favourite kiss. It was a blur the day you kissed my lips, but it was perfect. I guess my eyes were wide open but I can't remember a thing but shaking so bad I almost forgot how to work my lips. You were a brand-brand-new taste & I can only just remember the roller-coaster of thought from that day, freaking out about where it was all going & how to kiss someone new, for real. But I've been kissing you for over a year now, & my God, baby, I can't help but admit I'd sure love to kiss those lips for the rest of my life

**** men, guys, dudes, boys... in fact anything that walks on two legs and has a ***** between those two legs, or any other kind of elongated genitalia for that matter.

**** the simple ones who guzzle beer and scream at other men in a small box

**** the sensitive ones who weep at the intensity of their emotions to you

**** that cool ones who speak in a language of esoteric band and brand names

**** the intellectual ones who have their opinions shoved  so far up their **** it bleeds out their mouth

**** the business types who's cool indifference is callous

**** the health-conscious gym-working-out ones who's 9pm bed time leaves you star gazing alone

**** the hippy ones who's lofty, hot air talk leaves you with a nasty feeling in your nose like you need to sneeze but it is stuck inside

**** the ones who are "different" but an trip on the bus is more entertaining than their recycled conversation

Last of all **** the decent, hard working, ones who have girlfriends that are non-flaky, pulled-together, skinny-organic-soy-latte-drinkers, only-wear-Karen-Walker, I-have-no-daddy-issues, law-majors

**** it all really