no words will give justice
to these emotions that howl over me
it's doubtful how you miss
this love that cries for you to see

i'll shower you with flowers
and i'll kiss away the pain
i'll hold you when fear towers
and i'll break off every chain

it won't always be smooth sailing
i know honeymoons don't last
but know my love is never failing
with you, selfishness is of the past

i realize you're in a trance
of that girl who loves you so
but if you'd only give me a glance
i will take away all your sorrow

words left unspoken
feelings left unsaid
before you i was unbroken
but now for you i've bled

You left me bleeding
in the dark alone. Again.
I guess I'm dying.

Memories and flashbacks
Childhood. . . Grandma
Spoiled
Peaceful, country meadows
Ponds
Spaghetti O's
Roast beef,  beans and cornbread
Homework
her third grade education
Finding me with n Strangers
When my mom decided to go on drug fending binges from city to city
The swingset I wanted
The mudpies she ate
The sacrifices she taught me of
The determination she instilled
The cold mornings she made fires
Warmth,  breakfast in bed
Kittens, clotheslines,  and the never ending biscuit bowl that I never understood how it remained full day after day.
The plaits I hated yet love now
The smell of her clothes
How she sashayed when she dressed up
Her anger
Sitting in the porch with our dog Spot
Princygal the cat
Late night peanut butter cookie baking
The sign in her wall that said
Life is one fool thing after another
Love is two fool things after each other
That I read over and over again until finally I understood.
Everything clean and cooked by noon

What happens tomorrow?

The bleeding has no bias
From the Congo to Dallas
The days of waiting, the Fever-soar
The African corpses were out

Of view, from the World’s eyes
If a sneeze can defile
Ebola can ride airplanes
Traverse Seas, all through

Your plastic gloves, your pores
Contagious still with death
Your fear may taste the curse
A thousand dead more, a common ache

The bleeding has no bias
Jesus will not bring you back from the Dead
We have to walk through Hell alone
They say, I have no more words

The bleeding has no bias
No funding, on protocol that works
The virus rages on, splitting old scars
Of what it means to be from the

Old continent, of what it means to be black
And the coughing up of more blood
Where paranoia and fear are conditions
As common as kindness and hospitality here

The panic of believing a silent enemy
Can catch you without you knowing
These are the days of waiting
These are when the numbers soar.

Your words are like a knife
and you hold it to my throat
with the power to end me,
to take my life.
You tear through my skin
slowly, reveling in my pain,
watching the blood
drip down my collar bone,
bleeding me out,
bathing in my blood.
It seeps into your pores
making you stronger,
as I become weak.
And somehow I stay every time,
because right before I'm drained
you pull back the knife
and tell me "I love you."

Saying your name leaves a metallic taste in my mouth and I wonder if it's from biting my tongue to shut myself up or from biting my lip, thinking of you at 1:48 in the morning.

the clock is 2:07 pm
and my heart is bleeding
because i miss him so much