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Samantha Fox
Was  a panther
In a previous life
As well as an ox.

Not to mention
The wife of a
17th century cobbler
On the outskirts
Of Gillingham.

Which is unusual
As those who remember
Past incarnations
Are usually the wives
Of Heads of Nations
Or helped build pyramids.

Actually said Samantha
I forgot to mention
I was also the transistor
In Euclid's protractor.

Can you get anachronisticer?

Oh reincarnation
The rebirthing
Mother of invention.
In his monochrome home
Postman Pat
Has a black and white television
To colour co-ordinate
With his black and white cat.

As well as
Secret love children
Who also match.

He christened them all Foam.

As befits an autodictat
With a comprehensive
Collection of
Black and white combs
OldManAtHeart Apr 2014
Today I don't want to think.
So I'm going to drink.
I'm fed up of life.
I'm going to drink.

I'm going to drink, drink drink
Until I'm comatose
And hopefully then
To death I'll be close.

Yes, I shall drink
And I don't care what people think
This epitomises the worst attitude
I can have; I'm on the brink
Of dying by the drink.
And I don't give a ****
If I have the worst attitude....
I DON'T WANT TO THINK!

OK!?
IS THAT SO BAD?
Dear, alcohol, CAN'T I AT LEAST HAVE THAT!?

Who the **** rhymes drink with think?
This is so debilitating; I need a drink.

I've lost it. I've lost the plot, if I ever had one.
Almost certainly lost the plot of this poem
But who cares? I can't.

I want to hide, see no-one and die.

I need to hide, see no-one and die.

So I'm just going to drink.
Kelly Brook
Mistook
A book
For a hook.

Went fishing with
Alanis Morissette
And Anneka Rice.

Caught a complete set
Of Encyclopaedia Britannicas.
Popped it in the keep-net
And mused,

This really is a landmark
Of informational literature
But is rather wet
So not easily used.

I think I'll stick
To the Internet.
Bobby Shafto
Went to see
Queens Of The Stone Age

Without Me.

With your silver buckles
On your knees -
The Navy's answer to
Dita Von Teese?

And you think it highly likely
That you're gonna marry Kylie
When you next come
Home from sea.

Please.

You are no longer
My Facebook Friend
Bobby down a mineshaft go
Bobby Thunderbirds are go
Bobby HomeAlone on your mobile phone?

You poncy little princess
But I digress.

Have I mentioned
You're no longer my Facebook Friend?

Bobby.
Dobby.
Shafto
In the aftermath
Of a very hot bath
Sylvia Plath
Used to re-read
Katherine Mansfield stories
Until she felt
A little bit snory.

Whilst Ted Hughes -
After he'd imbued
The cool waters of
A shower for an hour -
Would watch Jackanory
Till he felt Hunky Dory
Then listen to Aladdin Sane
To bring him back to
The real world again.

Watch That Man!
Keira Knightley
Ties her shoes
Too tightly
And we must not scoff
If her feet fall off.
Mary, Mary,
Quite Contrary,
How does your
Hydroponic
Garden grow?

To be honest,
Said Mary,
I'm fairly airy-fairy now
And that's as contrary
As i know how to be -

I've mellowed with age
And grow lots of sage
As I'm perimenopausal
And have grown a
Dorsal fin between
My cleavage.

Sorry.
nani Mar 2014
He's not a boy,
neither a man,
he's something else,
he's Peter Pan.

Look at those eyes,
gleaming with passion.
Innocence appears if you stare deep,
my soul is dazzled.
They're the colour of the sea,
not blue, but iridescent.
His tears are the ocean's foam,
almost not present.

Peter says he won't grow up,
he's travelled long along the road.
He knows the world, from a to z.
And that's not where he wants to be.
He has his world, his Neverland.
No one gets hurt, everything lasts.

Peter, wake up.
That isn't true.
You know my heart belongs with you.
Don't leave me here,
I'm all alone.
The earth is mad,
come take me home.

Home to the land where kids won't cry,
they are all happy,
there's no goodbyes.
Boy, please remember me when you're gone,
come search for me, don't make me wrong.

I wish my eyes were bright with innocence,
maybe that could make me fly,
for instance.
Take me to Neverland,
teach me to fly,
I know I'm no Wendy,
but I will try.

Oh Peter, let's soar,
let's be free.
Somewhere we can be happy,
you and me.

John and Michael won't miss me,
mom and dad will dismiss me.
Nana won't even reminisce for me.

I've packed my bags,
and made my bed.
All is in order,
no one will care.

Just pour on top us,
faith, trust and pixie dust.
We'll fly together,
across the sea,
in Neverland is where we'll be.

Where no one cries,
and no one hurts,
where heaven is a place on earth,
I share with you,
nobody else.
Peter's shadow made me write this.

— The End —