Your indifference is crushing in on me.

I've been broken before, but nothing ever

hurt quite like this.

*Sandoval

How I was before
staring at things
and getting tensed at everything around.
Fearing constantly without knowing anything.
To step out of comfort zone
I cried and cried but to resists!
Afraid to lose anything,
longing everything to be forever mine!

Then came this breakthrough!
I broke apart...
going through lows
in the midst of nowhere else
No stares, no glares.
Nothing at all and I suddenly realized
I was out of that all.
I suddenly saw a dandelion flying away..
away from everything, knowing not alive or dead
but moving on with the wind
no persistence or resistance...
Just to free flow not caring at all.
That's how I found out myself all over again.
I fear but not too often, I stare into spaces
to find more love in life.
I add up to the beauty by smiling wide apart.
I enjoy the fears now,
more often it tries to get me down
but challenging more, to be more.
Enjoying my journey and not worry about the path..
And I'm glad I am more of me now
rather than what I was couple of years before.

Its been one of those days
when i feel like
THIS IS IT
with all those cheering and
words of encouragement.
I cannot seem to break
this feeling of numbness
addiction of staying arrested
arrested by this blunt feeling.
It doesn't give an instant dead
but slowly graze upon my soul
till i feel nothing at all
that numbness
is my final resort
which tells me
THIS IS IT
your ultimate wake up call!

I was seduced by your tongue.
From the menu in it's ripe pink
bequeathed with syllables
of toxic waste pronounced;
production rivaling the healthiest liver
in this materialistic marketplace.

Still it is a delicate decadence
not for the faint-heart by recommendation
can only be served in it's ****** state
never preserved with age nor maturity
for it's zest for life can never be tainted
even when cooked
it still wags on and on....
churning more poison.

I placed my order
may the best man win,
I was not a coward.
Bon appetite.