Hide underneath the stars with me
and peel back my skin layer by layer,
starting at the cold fingertips
missing the tenderness his touch caused,
twisting up damaged limbs and wounds of my woe,
past scars from childhood stories
- the ones not meant for campfires -
and around hairs that used to stand
when your breath danced like two ghosts
- you and I -
down my neck and into my bloodstream.

Peel me back until I am nothing,
but that little boy cowering on the bathroom floor,
with flickering lights, bruised elbows,
a lump in his throat and pain in his chest,
crying for something that no longer
existed.

And as i approached the bathroom sink,
I turn on the faucet and washed my face with regret
and dried it with words I wish I'd said.
I rise and take a blurry glance in the mirror, i can't see clearly.
I'm not sure if I'm fading away or if I just left the hot water on.

theres a bully in my bathroom.
she resides on my floor-just staring back at me
she just lays there smiling and taunting me
shes great at doing it-for she accomplishes it without words
i never understand why she picks on my but then again she picks on everyone
i can see right thru her
shes that superficial and that basic
her body is just one shape no curves no nothing
but because of her-girls across the nation want to go in hibernation forever.
theres a bully in my bathroom
like i said i can see right thru her
she stands right at our foot height she isnt even tall
our lives revolve around her for shes not just in mine but shes in yours too
she lurks with the doctors and puts on a sweet face
for they think shes a huge help
but shes the biggest bully around
she comes in all colors and shapes.
only stands tall with the doctors
theres a bully in my bathroom
and when i step on her she just weighs me down.
weighs us down
theres a bully in my bathroom
and shes taking over the worlds self esteem
but maybe it isnt her-maybe its societies standards

i know you,
and i also know
when you put
on eye drops,
so nobody
will know
that you have
been crying in
your bathroom,
feeling depressed
and lonely.

cold tiles and
a rose sink
cuts that make
it hard to think

clogged drains
florescent lights
bolted doors
that lock so tight

a beating heart and
closed blinds
please dont leave
me left behind

Feeling torn down,
just waste on the floor,
is when I feel my safest,
because,
it’s these times
that I actually feel human.
Being stuck on the floor,
bare and sopping with tears,
let’s me know that I matter to myself