Hurt
What a bad word
Worse then ****
Rip my heart out, it bleeds anyway
I'm gonna pack my **** and go
Down the road. To a place where a man can drown his woes.
The fluorescent Bud sign shines brite tonight.
I walk in.
Gimme a shot
And another.
Maybe one more.
I wanna see double and feel nothing
Cause I'm full of hurt
I'm torn apart
and that black hole in my chest is spinning
I'm sllluurriing my words
The ground feels crooked. Its at an angle.
I catch myself from falling
People are staring at me.
Don't look at me like that. Who the **** do you think you are?
You can all go to hell for all I care
Just as long as I got something to sip on
Or some hole to feel warm in
Or some stranger to wake up with.
I don't care.
I am full of hurt
I'm gonna take my **** and go
And on to the next one.

आंनि गुदुं सोलेराव
बिलिरलां नोँ बार
सुदेम अननायखौ होलां
गोरबोआव गोजोन लुफावलां
.
नोँल' गोजोन होयो गोसोखौ
सुदेम गुसु बिलिरनायजोँ
आंनि गोरबो बिखाखौ
नोङो सुग्लाय होयो दुंहाव सोलेरखौ
.
फुंआव नोँ मोसायो
रैरुब निहोर बिलाइजोँ
मिथिँगानि समायना---
गोथां सोमखोर बिफां बेन्दोँ
.
नोङो बिलिरलांफै खर'खौ
अननायखौ होनानै आंनो---
थाजिम होलां आंनो---
गोरबोनि खुसिखौ होनानै
.
बार नोङो आंनि हां
नोँनिनो मोजां मोन्नायजोँ
हगारो आं मेथाइ---
हगारो आं देँखो---
.
बेसे गोजोन मोनो
बिलिर फैयोबोला गोसोआ
नोँ आंनि सोलेर गोबाफैयोबोला
बेसेबा समायना जायो गोरबोआ
.
दैमा-दैसा बेसेबांदि बाज्लयो
नोँनि अननायनि खुदुमनायजोँ
बेसेबा समायना नुयो---
बिफां-लाइफांनि देमलो मोसानायजोँ
नोँ बेबादिनो लाबो खुसिखौ---

I don't remember passing out
The barkeep nudged me twice
I'd been out at least an hour
My drink, it had no ice

He told me I was finished
He said "Boy, you are done"
"You're playing roulette with a pistol"
"With six bullets, not just one"

"There's a taxi on it's way boy"
I took in every word
But in truth, my head was spinning
What he said, I never heard

Way back in the corner
Sat two vultures watching me
The barkeep saw them watching
And he said "Son, the taxi's free"

"There's a cot just off the kitchen"
"If you'd rather stay inside"
"You won't throw up in the taxi"
"It saves me money for the ride"

I nodded I'd accept it
He told me, "good, I hoped you would"
"The way your night is going"
"It just won't end up good"

"You're burning both ends of the candle"
"You're lighting the middle part as well"
"You may think you're off to heaven"
"Drink like this, you'll end in hell"

He said "out back there is another"
"Fought the bottle, fought it hard"
"He was lost, but came back stronger"
"He's doing well, but he is scarred"

"Tomorrow, you'll eat breakfast"
"Go out back, and talk a bit"
"Now, off to bed directly"
"I need to think a bit, and sit"

I thanked him, though I mumbled
The words were clear inside my head
But, the words that I said to him
Made no sense, so....off to bed

The next morning, over coffee
He told me, "I've watched you every night"
"I've woken you before, you know"
"What you're doing isn't right"

I told him of my troubles
He shook his head, and said "so what"
"We all have troubles sometime"
"We make the best with what we've got"

"You can come here if you want to"
"But, if you drink, I'll cut you off"
"This is your only chance son"
He said the last line, through a cough

He said that after breakfast
After I'd done the washing up
I was to head out to the alley
With fresh coffee, in a cup

He said "out back there"
"You'll find a man with a guitar"
"Give him the fresh coffee"
"He won't come here inside the bar"

I went out in the alley
And there exactly as he said
Sat a man, singing to no one
With a old ball cap on his head

I listened as he sang out
A voice as harsh as glass and sand
Playing guitar in the sunshine
Keeping beat, a one man band

He finished, and he saw me
Smiled as he took the cup
He said, "You don't know me"
"But, I knew you'd look me up"

The Bluesman drank the coffee
Told me to sit and stay a spell
For each minute that I listened
Was one less I was in hell.

In the back of Brewsters
where I always sit
watching the ladies dance
weaving their way through the gray cigarette smoke
clicking curves as the strobe light dances with them
Gloria serves up the intoxicating mixes
and teases the ***** hopefuls
who know they haven't a 'snowball in hell's' chance
the music thumps as Manny pummels
another joker who had a bit too much
as the hour of closing draws near
she slides by my table and smiles an invitation
I've been noticing her noticing me
as her 3rd partner heads to the head
leaving an opening for a 4th
not one to pass up an opportunity
I move onto the floor and quickly
work up a sweat that blends
with the rising inferno
'Smooth Operator' ends the chaos
and our bodies are now one
speaking in sighs and moans
of what is now obvious
this dance will not end at the end of this song
Gloria winks again as I grab my jacket
from the back of the chair
the smoke parts as we make our escape

I am alone now here at the bar
Beside me is a girl and a beer jar
I do not mind about the girl
Because my mind is now on swirl.

A shot of tequila and a lemon
Make a toast for being forever alone
Give me a another glass of ***
I am cold and I want to feel warm.

My heart and brain still feel the pain
Like I drank tons of liters of gin
Please make a drink for a heartbreak
And the bartender started to shake.

I tried all of these drinks and runaway
But still, I cannot drink you away
Give me another round of champagne
Just to forget and ease the pain.

I am a simple bystander.

Upon my slightly rough surface rests libations
Libations sometimes full of color
and others devoid of any light

Along for the ride one minute he or she is calm or quiet
Quiet, and the next moody
Moody or wildly mad with passion
Passion for words sometimes strung in nonsensical or hardly decipherable sentences
Sentences forming the harmonious song of social interaction

In this I delight.

On my course surface games are made,
Challenges are placed,
Games and challenges are played, and it all ends with uproarious laughter.

On my grainy surface words are sometimes written
Written along with shapes and symbols
Symbols which for reasons unknown increase my value ten fold

In the morning I am desired and required
Desired and required I am sought
In the morning I am loved.

I am a simple bystander,
In this I delight.

The Street is pretty empty
Just the locals out tonight
It's New Year's Eve and chilly
Seems this time, that all is right

No drunken revelers on the Street
All the buildings are shut tight
Except the bar and Gianni's place
On the Street, that's just alright

The Blues Man sits out back right now
And he's looking at the moon
No fireworks, or crystal *****
Say the New Year's coming soon

He coughs a bit, a little harsh
Grabs his medcin, and guitar
then he gently starts to playing
Looking at a single star

There's a few folks in Giannis
Watching the ball drop on tv
The bar is full of locals
Where the New Year's shots are free

But out back of Gianni's
The Blues Man sits in peace
Singing gently to the midnight sky
Sitting besides the drums of grease

This year he found his daughter
Memories of years gone by
And he sings tales of their meeting
To the chilly, midnight sky

His daughter is his lodestone
She keeps him grounded, always did
No matter where he ventured
He always loved his missing kid

She's drinking at the bar now
While The Blues Man sits out back
Singing tunes in Winter Darkness
He lets us in...but just a crack

The door behind Gianni's
Is open, just a bit
It's open for the Blues Man
To go get warm and sit

But, for now, he sits here playing
As the New Year ventures in
He sings songs about redemption
And he drinks his medcin

An hour in and locals
Leave Gianni's and the bar
They venture to the alley
Where he's playing to that star

They join him in silence
Hear his prayer for the year new
They are swept up in his magic
And let him do what he must do

He smiles and keeps on singing
Fills the night air with his voice
For no matter how his life is
He only had one choice

He's the Blues Man, always will be
He's the teller of the tales
He sings songs out in the alley
He's the wind in the Street's sails

He finishes his last song
His daughter standing, smiling wide
She gives him a kiss upon his forehead
And she ushers him aside

He'll wake up again tomorrow
In the alley, cold but free
That's the life of The Street Blues Man
And that's the way ...that it should be.

The girl with the book, sitting alone at the bar
Sipping her 16oz glass, head in her pages

A quiet moment, surrounded by strangers
To be alone in your head, but programmed to be present in the normality of reality

To write in a public space but to avoid conversation
But welcome it, when it presents itself

To live without a penalty of, if, things don’t go your way,
Or to have the lines and be able to overthrow them

To meet new friends and be introduced to others

And to find out that we all need a quiet moment
In the middle of strangers

The back bar is
elaborately decorated:
Etched glass, mirrors, and lights.
A set of shelves full of glasses,
bottles behind that counter.

An elegant bar focused
On wine rather
Than on beer or liquor,
Or so said your rose colored
Cheek bones.

I haven't been
Since the music
Stopped playing.