when I told you
how much it hurt
when you said you couldn't be with me
you said
you couldn't understand
thats when I knew
it wasn't that you couldn't be with me
handle my baggage
or anything else
it was more simple than that
you just didn't love me.

"When you're at the bottom,
There's nowhere to go but up".
When you've hit you're all time low,
You start to envy those at the top.
You give your least effort,
And strive for average.
You feel weighed down,
And carry so much baggage.
Everything you do
Causes you to be distressed,
You only focus on the negatives
And don't realize that you're blessed.
You crawl through each day,
Trying not to suffer,
But day after day,
It gets tougher and tougher.
Hang in there though,
The good will come to you,
I know it's tough right now,
But try not to be so blue.
Hold on tight,
And hold your head high,
Try not to cry,
Because pretty soon, you'll fly.

You ever have that little nagging in your ear?
                                                            That­ Consumes everything you hear!

"Why did you do that?"
                                                          ­                                           "I don't know"
"Do you know anything?"
                                                                ­                                " I know for sure"
"What? "                    
                                                                ­     "You're the banging on my door"
"...Shut up"  
                                         Yet because of that nagging, that noise, that pest.
                                                           ­          You feel like your life is the best.
"Tell me I'm pretty"
                                                         ­                                      "You're beautiful"
"That's not what I said!"
                                                   "I rather give you more than give you less"
"That's not what I want!"
                                                          ­                                               "Me neither"
"So..."
                                                ­                                                              "Wh­at ? "
"Shut up!"
                                                  No matter how much you seem to be down
                                                     That noise can make a smile from a frown
"Wait"
                                                         ­                          "Could you move faster"
"No"
                                                           ­          "Oh my god you're so annoying"
"Thank you"
                   "You just gonna acknowledge and accept you're a nuisance?"
"Yes"
                                                ­                                                          "I hate you"
"No you don't"
                                                                ­                                      "...Your right"
"I know"
                                                           ­                                      "Shut up lets go"
"Ha!"                                                        ­                                
                                               You ever have that little nagging in your ear?
                                                            That­ Consumes everything you hear!

Look at him,
oh, how composed he looks,
like a tree on a windless day in spring

But alas! Our eyes see as much.

His heart is in pieces and bits
as, in love,
he pulls her up to fulfil her dreams

while

she holds onto the rope
that drags her baggage and
still a little hope.

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Self harm

I looked down and saw a scar
Of where I used to be.
A long, steady coursing line
Down my arm.
My scar invited me down it’s course,
Down its bright red river.
My curiosity begs me to go back.

I am weak from days of crying,
Nights without sleep,
And no strength on which to lean.
It would be so easy to press back down
And reopen what I closed.
I just have to keep trying,
Have to keep fighting.

No one person's personality is unique in any way.

If you've at some time been exposed to a television set, a film, a piece of music, a book, a magazine, or people in a closed environment, then you are not in any way, shape, or form an original person.


We are all just composites of the things we've come in contact with during our lives, we pick up the things we think we want, or need and apply them to ourselves, and sometimes it's a sham, and sometimes it feels real.

The only way to be original is to be put out of society the moment you're born, but even then you may take on the characteristics of the wildlife you come in contact with... so apparently you're ****** no matter what.

I suppose what makes a person unique is the way they mash up all the **** that they've been exposed to,
whether they do it in a somewhat original fashion, or if they do it in a way that is similar to those around them.

Societies fear those who do not take the path of least resistance, and those are the people we call "unique", "different", "ugly", "weird", "stupid", "genius", "freak", "amazing", "loser".

They're the attention getters, and those who seek to get attention.

The ones that take the easy road to be accepted, they're the one's outshined,
and they have to get revenge some way, why not talk ****?

I can say though, that I feel real, I don't feel like I'm putting up a front for anyone.
Most days I like who I am, most days I lie, most days I'm honest.

*Circa 2009

sometimes I stop at you
and look
with eyes of grateful wonder
your spirit still all shiny
yet you are still here with me

yes  some things aggravate
but why should they, if unsurprising?
they shouldn't really get to me
it's  your different way of singing

well-seasoned are my campaigns
i've loved and lost a few
i come with all my baggage
to be here with you

i think that I am blessed
and live by this adage
happy with a playful angel
not being unaccompanied baggage