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storm siren Jul 2016
Stupid, awful tears
Won't stop threatening to fall.
Out of fear that either I ****** up
Or I'm just not being quick enough on the uptake.

Not like that ******* matters.
There's this weird feeling of being
Disappointed with myself.
I should have quarantined myself
For the day
No food
No sleep
Leaves me sad and angry,
Touchy and easily upset.

I want to sleep
So maybe I can dream of you instead of
Experiencing the cold that is in my bones.

But I love you,
And I'm sorry
Because my eye lids feel like lead
And I miss you.

You asked what you're going to do with me,
I said keep me around,
You jokingly said "I don't know..." I think.

But my heart suddenly panicked,
Please don't take it back. Don't put me back.
And I'm not doubting you, but boy, do I doubt me.

**** sleeping tonight,
I'm going to sleep now.
I hope you're sleeping well,
And know that I love you and I'm sorry.

I know you'll tell me not to apologize,
But I have to because I want to be in your arms rather than shivering on this couch.
Sensitive, sick, and exhausted makes for an emotional cocktail.
Spenser Bennett Jul 2016
The worst knowledge is
The way I might feel when I
Realize all that

Lives hidden inside
Of my heart will never be
Expressed. I do hope

You might forgive me
For this, my most human, flaw.
My apologies.
Inspired by Hemingway's brilliant Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
August Jun 2016
I wish I could
give you
one last apology
which is why
maybe
I thought
you wanted me
to leave.
Francie Lynch May 2016
Next time is indeterminate.
Sometimes it never arrives.
This time is the right time.
I've offered buckets of promises,
Boxes of apologies,
Truck loads of regrets,
Warehouses of chances,
But there is no next time.
The crystal's broken,
The hands are frozen.
Viseract May 2016
Rain streaking down the glass,
Blending in with mine
Clouds obscuring, turning grey
Smothering the sunlight

So I lost somebody, huh?
Like any other day?
The world keeps turning,
My tears keep running
As I slowly fade away

I liken myself to a magnet
First attractive, then repulsive
Allowed my trust to turn to lust
My actions, compulsive

So what if I fade away
Who would really know I had gone?
Would they think I was ashamed,
As though something had gone wrong?

Well something has gone wrong!
I can't deny it anymore!
I want you back, I can't keep silent
My mouth has words I need to pour!

I'm sorry for what I did
I know it's not enough
But I can't keep my back turned
I may be cold but I'm not that tough!

So please, just please
Talk to me!
Before I fade away
**For I am my worst enemy!
I can be cold, but I can't be tough. Ice breaks easily, and melts easily, the only positive about being cold is if you don't want to be touched, you won't be. People don't like being cold for too long, or touching things sub-zero degrees
Ignatius Hosiana Apr 2016
I woke up this morning and asked myself this question
How far have I gone on the avenue of moving on?
I got no immediate reply but then when I stood by the window pane
the fingers of dawn were still desperately seeping through
the spaces where you used to stand and hugging the cold bed.
the curtains swung in mutiny blown by angry winds
winds which hitherto our break up gracefully lifted your brunette hair
I walked out and even the door creaked in mockery of my loneliness
and guess what happened when I looked back!
your beautiful pillows were more red than burning charcoal
my eyes hurt at the light the Sun shot, I had to blink
the usually harmless orange orb was harshly telling me to think
I ignored the concerns of all these guys for it was my life
not for the curtain or the rays through the window pane
the pillows, the doors and the cold bed knew nothing about my pain
so I walked back to the sink and washed my face
and the splashing sounds seemed to echo, my home's like my heart
without you there's a void, my home's an empty place
couldn't ignore my ears, unlike others,they were here right from the start
they know the truth like my eyes, nose and lips
my eyes grudgingly shut missing the touch of your palms
my tongue touched my lips trying to restore their faith
even the touch of my tongue didn't feel close to your wine kisses
so I ultimately got my reply, I am still limpid and in pieces
your closet still carries everything you left
the kitchen still clatters calling out your name
I redid the walls but with even the smell of fresh paint
I assure nothing changed, everything's still the same
in the night I freeze clutching at the monsters of your absence
with ravenous longing and burning desire that could start a fire
tears crawl out my eyes in devastation to burn out the flame
I haven't moved on,not a single step from that day
my feet are liquid with the heat of defeat and remorse
arms paralysed by coldness for my fingers miss the warmth of yours
the spaces asking for soft fingers that fitted between perfectly
the skies of my soul have been cloudy since, my eyes do the rain
big boys don't cry yet I can't make every tear disappear
that can't happen unless you return, unless you're right here
I know I said I wouldn't miss you,I was wrong
without you I'm but rubble and shards, I'm eating my words
so please come home, come back where you belong
I won't move on,yet behind is where my beautiful future lies
I miss the whispers, I'm fed up of nightmares and whimpers
I promise forever if you return, no more goodbyes,
just a white dress and a ring,I promise the isles,
come home my love, you're the home, you're my wife.
Julie Apr 2016
I walk around an empty room.
I scream at the empty walls: "I'm sorry for throwing away the pictures!"
I yell out at the locked door: "I'm sorry for slamming you too many times!"
I watch the ceiling with keen eyes.
The white plaster makes me think of my family.
I say: "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for walking out. I'm sorry for spending after school hours by the bench outside the bar. I'm sorry for sleeping in other beds. I'm sorry for taking love for granted. I'm-" I see no more. I must be leaving. At least I apologized.

I apologized to the empty walls, the empty door and my empty family on the empty ceiling but no one heard it but me.
I screamed into nothingness, seeking forgiveness but there was no one there to forgive me.  
I was alone.
I deserve so many apologies
But I'll just stay silent
Cause nobody wants that Nat
To have a large mouth
And watch it gradually grow bigger
And watch the spirits of others dwindle
Down into the epitome of nothing
I will not trigger a nuclear bombing on people's lives like that.

I used to lash out like that and now i stay content.
Content with my own faults
Trying to throw them into the vault
You can't take back everything
But i take all the pointed fingers
And no longer letting the hate towards myself linger
I'm just as big of a culprit as the others
I'm just more cognizant of my faults, i suppose
It's no surprise that I'm here
Hopefully another reinvention is near.
J M Surgent Mar 2016
I fell in love at 17,
19,
21,
22,
23
23.

You’re pretty
Beautiful,
In the way you
Speak
Walk,
Talk,
Look at me,
And all our friends
Who spectate
Agree.

What I need
Is to live, learn
And love
A time where
The only lies
I tell
Are to myself,
Alone
In the confines
Of a simple life.

It’s not fair,
To let you into
A mind,
Heart,
Life,
That may not be
Capable of truly
Letting your heart
Reside
Anywhere
Close
To
Mine.

It
Will end
With a broken heart,
Guaranteed.

I can’t
Even let
You start.

My apologies.
RC Mar 2016
I'm hanging on to the last time we touched
just a goodbye hug at the front door
and I know it's not much
but I don't think I ever loved you more
It's funny to think as I watched you leave
it was too early to say our I love you's
but too late for apologies
I'm sure what this world's got in store for you
is a better experience than me.

And I don't blame you for the way we were
or how the way we yelled
made lines blur
but I want you to know
behind the holes in the wall
slammed doors
and deleted photos
you pushed me to grow
showed me who I want to be
and for that, babe, I could never let you go
but you can't belong to me

Do you remember the time I stayed up all night
looking out your window
watching for daylight
you rolled over and woke up with a smile on your face
took me home on time but you were late to work anyway
Or offroading in the hills to have *** in my new favorite place
I didn't have my glasses and couldn't care less
our city floated in space from the view on your chest
those are times I could never replace
For the first time in a long time
it felt easy to breathe
despite the waves of stress rolling underneath.

I'll still keep your painting up
one day I'll show my kids
Tell them some chances not taken may come with regret
but a better ending always exists
I hope you laugh at all our shared tendencies
every time you eat pizza backwards
don't forget to think of me
And I still wear your shirts on days I don't leave the house
but I think eventually we'd both agree
we're better off now
Bite the tip first, then crust, then eat around the toppings.
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