Begging for mercy from a cruel false god
As the years go by, I’ve seen through the facade
But I’m still chained by desperation and fear
And the false hope that you’ll be sincere
And the pleasure you take in my pain will disappear
But it won’t
You don't want to change
You never will
So it will be my blood and tears you continue to spill
Consume me body and soul
Whenever you are hungry for a little power and control
Whenever the world is too much for you
You take it out on daddy’s favorite punching bag

Mother is on the stairs
But she might as well not be there
For she doesn’t interfere
Not even when he fists curl up
Not when there are tears
She watches with quiet scripted interjections
As she watches this towering god looming over me tear me apart
No apologies no remorse
Just me with ****** hands picking up the broken fragments of myself off the floor
I don’t want to be here anymore

And after the damage is done
She provides false comfort
Then angrily scolds me
“You know better than that”
“Why did you say that”
“Why didn’t you say that”
As if the looming tsunami would ever take mercy on me
So I cower in my room licking my wounds forever alone
For there is no one else’s hands to hold
No one's arms to surrender to
Just grief
And a false hope that one day,
I will be free

But even when far far away
Those cruel feelings and fears remain
For now they are woven into my DNA

He said darling sadness looks so beautiful on you
so he put his hands over my mouth to make me forever blue
Laid to waste
but I'm still your favorite
Blood and pants pulled past my waist
you savor it
As I begin to decay
I can't help but think back to the day
you shyly called me pretty

The prophecy already spoken
I was born to be broken
Love needs to be earned
but when will it be my turn?
Even with all my love and open doors
every man who has walked through them
has left me worse than before

Closed-door
Four walls
Why was I the one to lose it all?
If he had killed me
Would you finally believe me?
The darkness seeping through his fingers
Forever trapped in that moment, the feelings still linger

He should be surrounded by four walls
Instead I’m trapped in my mind
The walls too tall to climb
Learned my body was never really mine
The monsters in my room are realer than they seem
They’ve come to **** the girl who never became queen
They never stop coming after me

Anxiety attacks
The world is black
I wanna dance in the sun
I wanna run

By calling the truth a tall tale
You let this monster prevail  
Try to be strong like the girls in the magazines
But I admit it’s so hard for me
Never feel safe
Can’t even remember his face
It’s just a horrifying void
That’s come to consume me whole
To take what’s left of my soul

She’s so hard to find
The girl I left behind
Been too long
Presumed dead
Wish he killed me instead
Wrinkled fingers in the tub
Never feel clean no matter how hard I scrub
My mind doesn’t deceive me
Why don’t you believe me

He should be surrounded by four walls
Instead I’m trapped in my mind
The walls too tall to climb
Learned my body was never really mine
The monsters in my room are realer than they seem
They’ve come to **** the girl who never became queen
They never stop coming after me

Prometheus
It was you who pulled the trigger
Ripped out my heart along with my liver
Drunk off you
Now I can’t get you out of my system
Got too close to the fire
Consumed by your touch and desire
I know you're dying to get back between my thighs
But I’m struggling to get past your lies
But I know I just can’t say goodbye
So break my back
Like every promise you made
These feelings I can’t ignore
Can’t wait for the day
I can truthfully say
I don’t love you anymore

Hello I’m suicidal
And have been for a while
Sincerely, your favorite problem child

All these names in my phone
But I’ve never felt so alone
For this house ain't a home
Wish I could simply disappear
I don’t want to be here
But I’m too afraid to die
Too numb to cry
If I meet God I’ll ask him why
This turmoil plagues me from deep inside

My eyelids swollen
Happiness stolen
Pitter-patter
They ask me what’s the matter
Well my greatest fantasy is jumping off a tower
Landing on the pavement and my brain going splatter
Happiness, never really had her
For darkness always looming
It’s got a hold on me, always consuming

Please I need some help
Frankly, I don’t know how to be myself
Life’s taking its toll
If I stay here it’ll be the death of my soul
Every day a lesson
But might drop out soon, too pained by my depression

Talk **** get hit
You spit bullets and I’m ******* sick of it
Jimmy, what did you bring for show and tell
A gun and a speeding bullet to send me right to hell

I’m dead inside
My soul another victim of homicide
Life’s a game of battleship
Guess an insecurity, yup that’s a hit

So void of love
Starvation of affection
of touch
You could see my ribs
Am I pretty yet?
Am I pretty?
Cause I’m feeling pretty ******

Won’t catch me weeping willow
Saving these tear stains for my pillow
Close the door and  jump out the window
And if my eyes could turn you to stone
Maybe you could finally leave me the **** alone

You can try and numb the pain
But it’ll never go away
You’ll wake up in the morning and still feel the same
Cause the weight builds up
And the tanks fill up
It’s no longer just pebbles and puddles

Oh you're in trouble
A gas mask ain’t have no use when you’re drowning
But maybe it’ll block out the chlorine
Brain is constantly pounding
So many thoughts it’s astounding
I just want q u i e t
Will you help me find it?

Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
Take the veil off your eyes my dear
And you can finally see clear
Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
You’ll see all your deepest fears
You never really were safe here

Impaled on a white picket fence
Wondering where your friends went
They took off the masks from their faces
From their books they ripped out your pages
Can’t tell friend from foe
Sugar and salt
Are hard to tell apart
There’s really no way to know
Until it’s too late
Call it chance or call it fate
Wake up and smell the roses
Wipe the blood from your noses
Under the street lights
On these late nights

Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
Take the veil off your eyes my dear
And you can finally see clear
Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
You’ll see all your deepest fears
You never really were safe here

It paints a pretty picture
But it just cleans up the mess quicker
You’ll go crazy from the whispers
The truth hurts
But so does this life
It paints a pretty picture
But it just cleans up the mess quicker
You’ll go crazy from the whispers
The truth hurts
But so does this life

Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
Take the veil off your eyes my dear
And you can finally see clear
Suburbia
Ain’t no good for ya
You’ll see all your deepest fears
You never really were safe here
In Suburbia