Lost my spark
where did she go?
I don’t know where to find her
they say she won’t come back
I never got to say goodbye
Would I even be able to say anything to her?
is it growth, when you lost someone so pure hearted?
someone so joyful and loving
She probably got scared and decided to leave
she is a coward
it was all love though
never wanted to hurt
rather get hurt
Maybe she thought she could skip this chapter
Chapter of eternal pain
and return some day
She should have been here
fought for herself
Now darkness took her place
she won’t be welcome if she returns
her kindness is not for this wicked world
I can’t be weak ever again
closure can’t be found
so I carry on
whatever that means
I haven't felt happy in a long time. I wrote this some time ago, when I was struggling to figure out who I was, it's a rocky road when you feel like you've lost yourself along the way, and when you have to accept that some parts of you won't be the same
Wishes are like butterflies
Beautiful, astonishing, but frail
Similar to magic spells
As if from a fairy tale.
Wishes are like tears
Uncontrollable and emotional
Because they come from the heart
They are illogical and irrational.
Wishes are like fine china
When they are too much to carry
They'll become broken shards
Reactionary and fragmentary.
Wishes are like the atmosphere
Surrounding me and you
Appearing in the form of fallen stars
How I wish they'd come true.
Strolling aimlessly in my cage everyday
Wake up in the same corner, sadness
were hopelessness is sitting, wrapping its arms around me
I always end up going back to that corner
Can you blame me? I'm captured like this
It's the only place where I find comfort in these dark days
I get up, not much space, each corner
has it's own sick ways of treating me
trying to pull me in, whisper lies
It ends up being the same everyday
When I get too tired of crying with sadness
I go to loneliness, but that's not a friend either
So I turn to the sons of worthlessness
telling myself today is different
but they beat me up, uppercut me every time
And then there's the fourth corner. I never go there myself
It's dark there, darker than any other corner of my prison
Darker and more scarier if you close your eyes
I wont say it's name, it's a monster without mercy
But sometimes the sons throws me over to it
And I don't know when it gets tired of having it's claws around me
laughing at my pain
making my body numb
everything gets so heavy
it's a combination of all the corners
I've heard about how it can destroy you
I can only sit and wait for it to get tired of playing around
with my head
I was dancing with my demons the night we met,
you swooped in and took control.
The most confident soul I've ever met,
the way you studied me,
the way our eyes met.
You had no idea who I was, still you fell,
for someone like me, who you just met.
That night you stole my heart and ran
Gave me a high I've never met
made the demons even more cruel
I didn't mind, cause my life was doomed
before we even met
Dealing with depression and falling in love can be a dangerous mixture. At the end nothing really mattered, cause my life was already falling apart. Might as well keep dancing til the music stops.
You might call me old school,
I know I'm vintage.
all the fireflies have gone
and I am abandoned in darkness
here, I can feel the emptiness
of where love used to live
if you talk to someone
and all night
does that mean you love them
or does that mean
you just talk a lot