If god was a real person ,
I'd sue .
For floppy ***** ,
And gaping eye sockets .
Misplaced fat pockets
Stretch marks and paranoid doobs.
For photoshopped pictures
And singles mixers
And never being able to properly chew
My words Before I spit them out
For men that don't ask before they mount
And for all the doubt .
For protesters in front of abortion
Clinics and mimics .
And being more creative without your adoration .
For false salvation .

I wish you would get deported .
I curse the east European country that produced such a fine specimen of god like features
Coupled with a Zeus complex .
And all the series of unfortunate events that lead you too my small town eyes .
My guts haven't unraveled for days and I have forgotten what eating for enjoyment is as it all turns to ashes in my mouth .
Grief is a my white knuckled steering wheel , uncontrolled sobbing in traffic .
It is "our" dog barking at me to remember to breathe .
It is my mothers kisses on my hands because I cannot turn my head to meet her blue eyes cause they are the same color of yours .
For every cigarette I light I hope you light two
Because I'm drinking this poison but trying to **** you.

Inside I am a furnace .
A gun lights up the night from
A driver's side window .
Rapid fire flashes .
Firecrackers .
You duck ,
I doe .
Why am I not afraid ?
Don't look at the license plate .
Just the shiny thing .
Your jaw setting ,
Adrenaline in your veins ,
You scream .
Tell me what it feels like .
Maybe I'm insane
Or just high .
But your name fails me
And you are the rest .
Yelling with a beer in your hand .
I don't need your protection .
Inside I am a furnace .  
Not afraid in my own neighborhood .

You took away the things I love
My bookcase and record player
Are dusty but my bed is warm .
You blacken already genetically dark circles under my eyes
And made me too discouraged
To use concealer .
You lined things up nice and neat for me in a row to critically craniumly  understand ,
Then berated me when I couldn't currently conduct myself in front of company .
But needed to cope .™

No one reads my **** ,
I am so thankful for this website .
I'm accountable now .

If I didn't love my truck so much ,
I'd drive it off a cliff .
Do you know how maddening it is to go a whole day
Twenty ******* four hours
Without a single concious thought .
Except as when I drive home
And they rush me
Collecting their stamps on the first Tuesday of the month between my ears and
I switch on the radio
So I don't pull over and kick over that bird bath in that yard .
I love mine .
I sit on my hands so I don't serve myself to the belly of that semi.
I want to get a ***** tattoo .
I got to finish my hip .
What if I cover myself too much and I have no room left and I want more things to stop the aching ?
I'm 20 .
Two decades old .
I live with my parents again .
I have never gone downtown drinking .
Or finished enrolling in college .
Why do I chicken out of every ****** appointment ?
I don't want medicine .
I could go for a slushie .
Am I real person ?
I toy with my floor mat , because it makes me place my feet weird .
It's not because I'm awkward .
I wish I had a joint .
Wait .
I can't smoke **** anymore ,
It stops my heart .
Well ... ****** .™

******* lie in blinking too fast for the curve signs, 

Reflected in your imported eyes ,

And the lines 
That lie on your hands .
Palmistry for dummies. 

Rough valleys and ridges 

Of Indian blankets 

Just waiting to be taken. 

Makin voodoo dolls
never quite
capturing the milky white underneath where the light doesn’t shine .

Despite popular belief , it’s 2 that bind.
Dining with your demons ,
always broke my good china .

Medina , 

I’ll bury you in me and dare too look upon your face.™

It's 1 am and I'm calling you .
Hating that ***** at the end of the line reciting " the person you have reached ..."
Is never available right now.
I feel so alone gripping the phone ,
I can't call you so late anymore .
Wanting to burn into you that
You are mine .
And everyone who touched you before is a ******* lie .
Across the street ,
The town .
The states .
I hate all of them right now .
And I know that this is
irrational
But it ***** that you were the first for me and I wasn't for you .
The abuser ,
The space filler ,
Now the Grecian pillar .
Hating classical way that
The years rubbed off the emotion from the chisel marks .
**** them
And you're like before my hands , and mouth and eyes .
My eyes ....
Always searching for yours .
In an empty room of the two of us still ******* searching for yours .

But maybe I am the first ,
And that's why I a prototype
Am still here . ™

I haven't been able to properly write
In two ******* years .

From the ***** of a saint ,
And the womb of a sinner
Comes a natural born winner .
Full of unrelenting hate
For these pawns that surround her
Drown her
Leaning her to ask is it
Abnormality or insanity ?
That plagues her mind
Cyanide dripped vanity
Trying to hide her hate for humanity
Ink screaming ,
"DONT TALK TO ME !"
Blood singing for like minded beings ,
Loneliness doesn't even have a meaning . ™

I ate a man once .

First I caught him by the eyes ,
Plucked those souls out and called em mine .
Why ?
Cause surprise ,
There was me reflected back in perfect symmetry
Pawing him
Back and forth
Called him closer and
Swatted him up .
Nibbled the fingers who reached to stroke my mane .
But **** ,
This prey loved pleasure and pain .
All I did was dpi and sway and stalk
Purring the sweetest talk
He learned the rules
Only watch
So I could gaze
At my shaking prey ;
As he swear and want .
I licked my canines
Wiggling in secret heat
At all the desire done by little ole me .
Then I pounced
Took him down
Cracked open his chest
And cleaned him out
Plucked out those electric strings
Cause under was the sweetest meat .
It beat .
Slightly torn
I bit , bitter sweet .
To my stomach it sank
Growling as it turned to stone .
Heavy lead , love , & bone .
Gasping as it poisoned as
His souls shone/shown
I made it run in his
Every vein
With my deadly game of
Pleasure and pain .
As he slipped away ,
His weakness kept at bay .
With a smile .
Every ******* day .  ™

The ******* of Eden
Licking Chernobyl ****
Humming that post atomic hit ™

Isn't it funny how events
Fall into place
Like cigarette ashes hitting the page
Each one of us recites our lines
So perfectly in this play called life
But I never had a good memory
So I could never find the right words to say .
An *** in a world full of hang guns
Rapid fire mind with no silencer
A lead tongue with hollowtip fingers
Tried to lead
But just ended blowing everything to pieces
And watched these fools eat it .
Because in a world full of carbon copies
I am oxygen .™

Slam me down
Into my rusted out chucks
Smack smack smack
The pavement
While you roll on bones
Mines are bruised baby
I can't keep up ,
And we both know you ain't gonna wait .
Dragging my leash behind you
Snarling at the side of the coin
You chose to be today .
Claw my face with the icicles
That shatter from your eyes
Stars falling into the ocean
Killed all the fish
Leaving the ache for days .™