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Unstable and weak
Crying and blaming
My heart is heavy
My eyes filled with tears
My mind is scrambled
My mental illness consuming me
Accusing, abandoning, leaving
I can't think straight
My heart hurts from crying
I lost everyone I could
Pushed them away because I was unsure of myself
Now I have no one, no one to save me
Love doesn't even care for me
Hurt and alone
Want to die
Why did I do this to myself?
Can I really blame my mental illness?
Or is it really me who just caused this?

All I have left is my mental illness
No support, no love just me, myself, and I
Wish I could just **** myself but I'm too cowardly
And no one would ever want to help me because I push people away when things get scary
What to do now, have no clue
Guess I have to suffer now
There's no cure I'm stuck with this for life
It's my only ride or die now
No one will save me

c.m.l.
Donna Aug 2018
Negativity
makes me feel like **** , but I
shall rise above it
Sorry to use a swear word at times it just seems appropiate , anyway I too get negative thoughts at times,  I just can't help it but thankfully they not last too long anyway I find listening to music helps sooth and calm :) ah well it is what it is i rather stay true to myself so hence why I posted this one  :-)
Also when u do get negative thoughts try not to be to ******* yourself x
Take care all ***
Donna Jun 2018
Once upon time
there was a shampoo bottle
called Miss Strawberry

All day long she sat
on edge of bath just staring
at washed out tiles

Then one day when she
woke up she notice a white
bottle of shampoo

Hi there strawberry
I'm a conditioner , my
name is Coconut

Together they laughed
and made bubbles and even
had fun foam parties

They both loved water
Sometimes there slide down plug hole
Into a tunnel

Then they went splish splash
into the drain , but really
it's a water park

full of slides and fun
tunnels , lots of drain people
lived down there too , there

was a shaver called
Razors , he was like a dog
And barked all day long!!

And lots of hair dudes
and hair women , they carried
a net to catch hair

to make more hairy
people , they all supervised
the fun water park

Strawberry blew fun
bubbles whilst coconut made chilled out smoothie drinks

When the day came to
an end , strawberry went to sleep
feeling neatly sweet

And as for Mr
Coconut he hula danced
and sang lovely songs

to cheer up Edith
the tap , who cried every night
But by morning light

her tears had dried up :-))
I was inspired with little story I cleaned bathroom today and my imagination had fun and I just let it all go and it was fun x ;, hope u all well and thank u to those who sent me lovely messages I so appreciate very much <3
It's hard to stay away from hp as I love to write but this one got the better of me as it was fun fun fun  , have  lovely weekend all <3 x
Donna Feb 2018
I have baked beans in
my head they want to be read
After letter zed
Donna Jul 2017
In a mind where it
never stops chatting , I sit
in a boat and wave
Sometimes it can be annoying especially when anixety creeps in but  I'm use to it now. A nice walk outdoors and a goodnight sleep helps lots x
Donna Jul 2017
Like a pierce black grape
The juice spread on my ***** tongue
And nearly choked me
Tis an old one thought I post it x not my norm posting but sums up old depressive thoughts and anixety x
Cheniece May 2017
it's here again, coming on strong

i can't control, this thing

eating away my insides

please send help

it's dark

quiet.
Love yourself, be safe ~chebad
Ivy Swolf Jan 2015
To fall asleep tonight I'm thinking of last night's
dreams and tomorrow's nightmares all at once
like re-runs of the same television show aired years ago
by another person in another body, and I wonder
if they felt the distinct absence
of everything... a pain that has no source, but that can pierce
every nerve in my entire body until I'm screaming louder
than the ambulance's siren. At night we are all passengers
waiting for the sunrise's journey. And tonight I will think about
how the nurses feel when their patient dies
before they arrive at the hospital,
if they feel the pain that exploded from the victim's last breath,
if their ribcages feel just as hallow
as the ambulance itself is without anyone to rescue.
I flip on the television in my eyes, and suddenly
all I see is static.
I have been so stressed lately with the millions of things I haven't been getting done. Been the victim all day of a raging headache. I hope this makes sense, please let me know what you think... as always, constructive criticism is very welcome **
Summer Lee Dec 2014
TMI
I wish you would get deported .
I curse the east European country that produced such a fine specimen of god like features
Coupled with a Zeus complex .
And all the series of unfortunate events that lead you too my small town eyes .
My guts haven't unraveled for days and I have forgotten what eating for enjoyment is as it all turns to ashes in my mouth .
Grief is a my white knuckled steering wheel , uncontrolled sobbing in traffic .
It is "our" dog barking at me to remember to breathe .
It is my mothers kisses on my hands because I cannot turn my head to meet her blue eyes cause they are the same color of yours .
For every cigarette I light I hope you light two
Because I'm drinking this poison but trying to **** you.
rook Oct 2014
i don't like being looked at
when people pay attention to me, i feel               sick
i act like someone else in a group
--- though they wouldn't know it, since that someone else is
invisible

i have never felt comfortable in the spotlight
the center of attention needs to stay far away
from me                                                                                                
the thing is, my point is ---
i don't like being seen at all, whether or not it is as a
girl

but somehow, i'm doing this because i want people to...
what, exactly?
notice me? look at me? pay attention to me?
yes, this is logical.
                                as logical as believing in that which we can't prove.

but what would i know?
i'm just a kid.
i'm just doing this to be my own special snowflake, even though all i've ever wanted was to be

nothing.
this is a ****** poem full of ****** feelings about ****** people
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