feeling feelings is too easy of a feat. not feeling them is the task. how inhumane you have to become to fall out of the rabbit hole that your mother called love. waking with raw eyes, sleeping with a tight stomach. your passions no longer your passions, because let’s be honest, they were the fire in your writing, the voice in your painting, the entirety of your mind; morning, noon, and night. the sun, moon, stars, meteorites rocketing down in your mind over and over again. repeatedly leaving craters all over your body. they left their mark and you can’t seem to scrub hard enough in the shower to make them disappear. you can’t seem to keep up with your shadow, because these days it seems to be standing taller than you. see. you wilt as if you haven’t been watered and you refuse just anyone’s hydration. you need your passion’s water. you need that familiar breath. the steady breath because yours is just too unsteady lately. it’s riddled with threats of tears in your throat. but you don’t cry right? that’s what you told everyone.

we gone make love in that museum you wanted to go to
hang them legs up like art on the wall
stroke and stroke, until your water colors fall

i wanna blow on your skin until the paint dries
i wanna frame myself in your eyes
put you on display for the world to view..

..admire and critique
have them speechless with your physique
and those eyes, girl those eyes...

i want you to stroke and dip your brushes onto my canvas until my symphony crescendos into the twilight zone of our love.

and if your saxophone needs blowing i'll sweep all the air from my lungs.

lust is just love that dies
we tend to want things that flood our eyes
our hurt is just a price we pay
looking at the moon and wishing for day
in an abyss of sweet nothings we fall deep
sacrificing oxygen and sleep
for a mere glimpse of what love could be

things aren't so tender when they end
just bitter unseasoned and bland
a heap of limbs at war with each other
lost souls looking to discover
searching for love and a source of heat
the vicious cycle of hatred and deceit
turmoil boils and wrath will grow
but the fire extinguished long ago

when the mind realizes it's been famished
not a soul in the world cared to scan it
of feelings or memories or wants
or opinions or strengths or thoughts

the enemy, loneliness, born
from lack of someone to adorn
a naive love disguised as scorn
from its battered scalp grow horns

an angel in disguise it became
call it cold.. frigid.. inane..

fallen angel beseech the stars above
for the slightest symbol of love
and to no avail, no answer
her kisses could create no dammer

she dared not bind to another
for the sake of being smothered
with false ardor and affection
her ice as her protection
to shield her ***** from the swelter
that asked of no one near to help her

the delusive words of many have tried
the only thing saving her was her spirit that died
this barrier tall, affirmative with action
hurt anyone near it with ample satisfaction

The unknown is what I cower from.
I fear a watery grave.
Or would it actually be beautiful,
to watch the world float away?
As I sink to the symphony of the ocean,
and let it lullaby me to sleep,
I slip into paralysis and surrender my hands & feet.
The deep dark bottomless
untouched that is below us,
singing the song of the sirens.
The mysterious shadows that deny us
the glory underneath the islands.
The souls of the living and dead,
floating and gliding,
sinking and riding.
The waves of poseidon,
I dread.
Should I not be afraid of the shadow,
and not shriek in terror of the deep?
Is it really all that bad,
or is my mind playing games of deceit?
Have I been afraid for years,
not experiencing true beauty?
Are the fish keeping secrets,
of what the water holds truly?
What is down there, it drives me insane to no limit.
I want to see the city of Atlantis, and the mermaids in it.
Would that be my heaven?
A tale told on land?
And would the creatures of the sea,
tell tales of a walking man?
Im afraid, I am, of what's below the shore.
And to think, All I have to do
is fall off this cliff to explore.
What people on land would call my ending, would only be my beginning.

i had a dream
you wrote your name in hieroglyphics on my stomach last night

we submerged ourselves
into each other
love everywhere
dripping down the walls
slowly oozing through our pores
boiling beneath the floorboards

in the pitch black
only we could see this sight
twisting and turning throughout the night
dew from our skin
cries from within
every moan
every shriek
piercing like piano keys
pain from your teeth
pleasure from your tongue
shivers from your fingers
your scent still lingers
last night we didn't have minds
or we were out of ours
we watched ourselves
get lost inside of
this abyss we call love
and outside of the parts we can't touch

we drowned ourselves in words
we suffocated on our voices
we screamed while no one heard
we tasted all of our noises
lust swelling up inside of us
like disease
we could die any second
preying on each other like felines
watching, waiting,
plotting on annihilating,
devouring flesh, making a mess
eating my soul, cleaning the bones

penetrating this flower
watching as i blossomed before you
spread open my petals just for you
my thighs as vines
you climb until you peak
reaching the top of your mind
ripping the timidness from my eyes
tempting and teasing
inhaling each other and releasing
hairs ***** on the back of our necks

the pressure inside is on the rise
my pleasure rushing to the tip of my tongue
escaping past my lips
music to your ears
muscles tense and vibrating
entangled in each other we laid
until the remnants of anger fade
limp bodies in this field of lust
another night of us


-suhani

Here's another night
Where my thoughts drift to you
You told me, leave, move on, let it go
I've tried I swear
I've tried to trash what I felt
I've tried to destroy the love
But love can't be destroyed
I've tried to use and abuse other peoples love
So I could make up for your love
But it isn't the same
No one loved me to the elements like you did
No one wants to give me the stars like you did
I feel so empty sometimes without you
Wondering if you think about me
Even though I know you've forgotten about me
Hoping you'll read what I write
Wondering if my words will pull one of your heart's strings
****
I hate this
I can say I've never felt a love like this
To the point of desperation and humiliation
I've never felt so drawn to someone and felt like I was missing a part of myself
Like the other half of me is just lingering amongst the earth without me
Searching. . .
Looking. . .
For something or someone that isn't me. . .
**-sxmx

For me life is about moments
It's not about what will happen
It's not about what has happened
It's about what is happening

Because nothing else in the world could possibly matter more than that moment when you're with that person and you feel that way and you're just hoping nothing can ruin this because perfect things and moments can't be ruined because you're so happy that it's you and no one else and that you didn't know that you could ever be this happy

But

All good things must come to an end and no matter what you do, say, or feel, your moments will become feathers of nostalgia just floating around in your mind and your memory but it's okay because moments end in order for you to make more moments and make more feathers so your head will be as filled as a pillow

A pillow of memories and happiness

-sxmx

if not for love
no one would know the deep passion for another
or the uneasy yearning for another's touch or at least a passing gaze or a fleeting glimpse from another or a hope for a brushing of fingers or shoulders or a simple hello or hand gesture or the essence of their presence or the desire to just BE... with them and hold them so close that it hurts to the point of bruises and scratches and sweet moans of agony and wet strokes of angst and ripped sheets and pillows tossed upon the floor...

if not for love
no one would know

unless walls could talk...

-sxmx