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 Jul 2017 Shruti Gauba
Pagan Paul
.
A warm wet circle on my cheek,
all that remains of your presence.
In a cold grey room so empty,
that no longer holds your essence.
My skin and bones have turned to dust,
a heart dripping to pools so dry.
The fibres of being are unbound,
as you walk away and say goodbye.

© Pagan Paul (23/07/17)
.
Just trying to recall what its like to have a love to lose.
PPx
.
The man who loved blue
Was a joyful soul
With eyes of diamond
And heart of gold.
His voice was breeze
In summer's air
With songs to sing
And stories to share.
His house of blue
Was easy to find,
So bright you could see it
Even if you were blind.
And all would come round
For a blue cup of tea
With biscuits that came
In blue packets of three.
They'd hear his advice,
For he had lots to give,
And all the adventures
Through which he had lived.
He laughed of his youth,
The days climbing trees
That he spent with his siblings
At age of thirteen.
Since then his face wrinkled,
His hair had turned grey,
But his life-loving soul
Didn't age a day.
And when the time came
That his house lost hue,
We never forgot
The man who loved blue.
My opa's favourite colour is blue...
 Jul 2017 Shruti Gauba
Shanath
I THE BLACK

You can have my whole heart and devour it
but not squeeze out a drop of blood.

You will drown in a thirst
as you try to water me.

II THE WHITE

I am not meant to fall in love
I am meant to divide my soul

Among the satans of the world
And turn fire into cosmos.

(I am lost
But I will find my way.)
Edited, I thank Guy Scutellaro for the comment.
don't hope too high, daydreamer
all good things
are too good
to be true
All disappointment
is too painful
to be a lie
and what's desired
by one
is far from another's mind
so dreams go
unfufilled
and will never exist
as reality.
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
m
three words
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
m
i wish i had the skill
the artistry, the patience
to fully describe the ache,
the constant crucifixions
of my heart.

it's scary, daunting,
how three words,
(and not the three words
you're thinking of)
can disintegrate something
faster than nailing a coffin
shut.

there is something inside
my head that tells me
to crush the cocoon
every time i see it
because my hands forge
butterflies faster, better

have you ever woken up
in the morning, and
immediately start
crying? have you ever
kissed a stranger? have
you ever killed an animal?
have you ever broken your
own heart? your own leg?
your own home?
i'm so ******* tired
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
m
my mother
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
m
at age 10,
my mother pointed
At the small birth mark
On my left knee and said,
"Someone's going to love
You for that one day."

At age 16,
I told her that a boy,
One far away,
Told me I was unloveable.
"He couldn't be more wrong,"
She promised.

At age 19,
She picked up my prescription,
And cried,
"I don't want you
To get your heart broken,
Mary." She sobbed.

The empty encouragements mean nothing,
When a daughter has decided
That the need to be tragically beautiful,
Is more important than the need
To be exceptionally loved.
i wrote this in 5 minutes I know it's stupid enjoy
Time;
I remember
a time when
cities were made
of nothing but Legos
and one's imagination.

Still,
even now
I can't help
but wish harder
that the cities we walk
were still made of that stuff.

Cardboard,
took us miles,
and paper planes
really did bring us flight.

So,
I ask;
Please,
don't let
your imagination
fall into stagnation,
like a Lego block
that gathers
dust.
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
AJ
Jamie
 Jun 2017 Shruti Gauba
AJ
Sometimes ***** tastes like you.
Like having *** on the bathroom counter.
Like pizza movie nights.
Like getting high on the roof while reading poetry.
Like eating you out in the back of that church.
Like crashing that car in the field behind your house.
Like playing the guitar on your back porch.
Like the sound your horrid contagious laughter.
Like drawing hearts on each other's backs with crayola markers.
Like your tongue after the first cigarette.
Like you and me.
Like you.
Like us.
Like you.
Like you before those pills and those blades took you away.
Now like me.
I always taste like *****.
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