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 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
What am I afraid of?
Here is some sort of list,
I'm afraid of snakes, bugs, bats, birds, and nearly anything that can fly!
Those aren't the only things I'm afraid of that are also alive though.
I'm afraid of horses, piranhas, elephants and heights
Pregnancy, loud noises, hospitals and walking outside alone at night.
I could probably go on and on with this list because fear is somewhat infinite and I will
I'm afraid of loud noises, being left behind and the germs of childhood friends and others who could've smothered them on my pillow from drooling at night
I'm afraid of school, females, males, and people in general. Failing. Falling. Drowning and death. Who knew there could be so many things haunting me?
****. Bridges that are taller than me, being lied to, aging, and foods that are too spicy.. It may sound childish, just stay away from me if you're eating spicy calamari..


Did you think I was done? Because I've only just begun..
I'm afraid of situations, such as when people distance themselves from me too quickly. It ties into my fear of being left behind,
Don't abandon me.
I'm afraid of my mom, needles, parties and more it's mostly because of past experience, but I'll leave out the gore..
I don't know much about Jellyfish, but I do know of a girls biggest wish is to become one of those fish and
oh, she would fit.
The female Jelly of a rare species, one of the most beautiful, divine finds.
A very rare kind, that would ever so shine, there's only one of it's kind,
it leaves me so blind.
The gentle Jelly so breathtaking that it takes away all of my oxygen,
The Jelly's, heart breaking.
She's so damaged, she's dead on the inside with many different strings
loosely draping among with her, it's a representation of all of her past,
so terrible, I wonder if I could  fix that?
I don't know if there's a Jellyfish that continuously changes colors in a glowing manner,
but she would.
This is why this Jellyfish would be the rarest.
This Jellyfish would glow colors of Yellow,Purple,Gray,Black,Blue, and Red.
The yellow would be her happiness, though it may be the rarest of her colors.
Purple, would be her scars.
Black, is her hidden irrationality that I wont ever let her drown in, in her wonderful blue lit sea.
Gray, would portray something like the clouds on a rainy day, something that keeps her happiness hidden.
Blue, a very sad colored blue that would be the color of her tears that I try to wipe and keep away, this blue is more distinct than
the color of the waters she lives in because it represents only her pain and only comes out of her.
Red, would represent her recent scarring's, a recent ****** wound that has just been cut or even a wound that will not disappear.
The Jellyfish being through all that she has been through still continues to float among the sea,
a weak, but also a strong Jellyfish as my bubbles keep her afloat, I wont ever let the waves engulf her.
The persistent sea critter drifts delicately reminiscing, but not forgetting.
"You can't trust anyone."
I'm sure everyone's heard this before well, it's true.
Everyone in this world is so self-starving and selfish,
us humans are a creature more foul than any actual animal,
we are all majestic creatures awaiting patiently to slice our
teeth into one another, into our prey.
Animals **** their prey instantly instead of making
their victim's suffer,
we slowly destroy ours to the point they no longer feel sane.
Some of us are very strong minded, but even the strong minded
ones can be shattered to the point we are considered unfriendly,
we simply protect ourselves so,
we wont have to endure an endless eternal feeding,
A feeding of the hominids.
A hidden darkness,
it comes and it goes.
I wonder when it will decide to stay?
You're all that I have
so,
excuse me if I'm a little mad,
I just don't want you to continue to be sad and
continue to let yourself get hurt so bad,
you already have so many indents still left in you
yet you still pursue actions that will only hurt you,
I've warned you yet you've scorned me.
You don't have to worry about me because I've
already been scorched by the flames too many times,
now what's left of me is I just don't care,
I'm strong,
but you're a fragile being that can easily be snapped still,
You're delicate,
Don't worry though, no matter how many times
you repeat this error or if they are new,
I'll be your personal healer forever and
Stitch up that frail heart,mind, and body of yours.
*Cover me with your wounds
 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
You could find someone better, trust me I'm someone who hides their feelings beneath their sweaters I'm a distanced person who spaces out even in the moments that are most important. My anxiety keeps me from saying the things that I want to blurt out so badly but cannot because of the words that others will slap down on me. Trust me I'm not someone to stand beside. Toxicity engulfs me often I'm barely pushing through this sticky path that was created out of hate my anxiety is always entertained do you not understand the pain that these people have caused me to feel!?
Insane.
I always thought I was, because my thoughts often turned from happy to horrific once something bad had been said, well what did you expect?! For me to be perfectly happy afterwords and forgive you as if you had never meant the words that twisted and slurred around in my mind, ******* it's about time you learned your place bullying is not something that can be accepted so easily so stop doing it for ***** sake I cannot begin to describe the way I hated myself for so long! I'm damaged even now from back then and it's been so long! I know you don't give not one single ****. It's depressing really, how empty I had and have felt because of you..
Let me try to define this kind of pain for you since I know you'd never be able to handle the things that went through my mind after what you had caused me to feel. You see I have always been trapped inside of a shell, even when I was very young I was shy but you made it a point to deny it's all in my mind you said to me a billion times but did you know that I was dreaming of dying, drowning, suffocating, nearly injuring myself as the tears would fall down. I was a suicidal case thanks to the things people had forced me to endure you thought it was funny but would you still if you knew how violent I had become towards myself?!
Just try to imagine now, you have a child and will probably have more what will you say to them when they come rushing in through the door, their angering tears slapping down against the floorboards as if they were raindrops will you let them know you were not a victim!? I bet you will lie and tell them something to confide in I hope for their sake you do because if I knew that my parents caused others to feel such ways well ******* I bet I'd have went insane knowing I was living in the same house as a perpetrator. *How could you do that, mother!?
 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
I'm sinking under the waters surface
In some sort of helpless hoping
that they'll entangle me inside
of their electric lace curtains,
Won't you engulf me?
Swallow me whole and
electrocute me.

Maybe then I'll wake up as one of you.
Sinking for completely different reasons
flowing gracefully, seeking out prey.
Let me explore with you...
 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
Nose pressed to the glass
I'm smiling brightly
as you grasp my hand
My other hand reaches up
and touches the tanks coldness.
Aren't they beautiful?
I lovingly exclaim-
Squeezing your hand excitedly.
Lets come here again, okay?
 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
He is a Fried Egg Jellyfish,
nonetheless he was ignorant
Always pushing things on me
He never considered feelings
Like the Phacellophora camtschatica
his sting is rather weak.
But that doesn't seem to explain
why it took me so long to see
that he was only after one thing.
-
She is a Pacific Sea Nettle
Glowing; always and forever.
I embrace her light even when
I'm feeling smothered.
She is amazing in many ways
But could become dangerous
in a matter of days.
Just like the Chrysaora fuscescens,
She is made of many colors.
Which is why I can't stop looking at her.
-
He is a Purple Striped Jelly
One of the most painful out of these
Oh sweet, Chrysaora colorata,
he truly stung me.
So beautiful inside and out
I should've looked but never touched
I just wanted to be his cancer crab,
but I never was one..
I was the ocean sunfish biting back.
-
He is a Golden Jellyfish
Beautifully mysterious as always
I want to dive straight into him
As I would the lake that the smack lives in.
Very similar to the lake
he is full of golden aspects
that I long to intake.
He hasn't stung me yet,
So why should I ponder mistakes?
He'll always be stuck inside of my head.
Note: A smack is a group of Golden Jellyfish.
 Aug 2015 Saddened Soul
Jellyfish
Pink and said to be mean
Your tentacles tend to scare me
You're often alone, are you lonely?
Drymonema larsoni... don't worry
We can be friends, just don't sting me..

Native to the Mediterranean, Caribbean, and The Gulf of Mexico..
Searching for Moon Jellies and feasting once they're found
They wrap their tentacles around- them and drag them in
What a cruel fate? you may think that but we do the same thing.
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