Under the gazebo,
you sang in silly cadence
while patting along on your lap
you smiled so happily.
You made my heart beat rapidly
and you still do, so easily
even now just remembering
my heart pounds without warning.
It yearns for the memories to repeat.
So often, I'll lay and reminisce,
even so my heart begs me to rewind,
I feel it crying for what's inside.

I hate words,
they never come out right.
They always feel slurred
or awkwardly uptight.

This Jellyfish that floats along
trying to confidently stay strong
is distinctly sad, so often it feels like
it could just sting itself,
but it does *not.

It floats along.

do you ever feel lonely?
they say that it's healthy
but I'm unsure of that.
Despite my liking alone time
too much of it can hurt me.
It makes me feel so lost, and empty
until my tears fall endlessly.
After crying I usually find solace,
but this time I just want to cry more.
Which makes me feel *pathetic.

I'm warm and flustered...

Your upbeat soul broke through my shy walls and gave me a reason to sing again.

Silence...

Except for my fan.
All that I knew,
was sadness back then.
but these days are brighter
and bolder and more lovely,
back then I never would've guessed
I could be this happy.

I only wish I could tell the old me,
that things get better.

my phone pings
and as I pick it up
I see your messages,
blurred, but there.
my eyes shut
as I think to myself,

*I'm having trouble
falling asleep...

I feel the cold seeping in through the walls,
and I stare out the window at the snow that falls.
My eyes are tired and the silent news channel that's playing annoys me.
I wish you'd sleep in your bed and not on the couch, it's depressing.

As the leader leaves, out the door into the freezing,
I climb back up the stairs to my room and feel sad I got up so early.
Why doesn't anyone inform me of plans they have that include me?
I take off two layers and want to go back to sleep... but I'll be awake in another hour either way.