Beauty is pain
The slogan sold to
Millions
But, if beauty is
Pain
How am I not radiant
Having suffered
So much
In such a short life

They say
Suffering brings compassion
And I say
That’s
*******
Just because I have
Suffered
Does not mean I am kind
And just because I am
Kind
Does not mean I have suffered
Compassion
Is when you say
“No one should suffer”
Not even me.

I drown myself in starsong
My head in galaxies
Miles away from earth

To flee from conflict
Hiding from war
Is not healthy, I know
But
It was beaten into my soul

So now I hide
In-between nebulas
Let the beauty cleanse my fear
May I find the strength to fight

We shall watch the stars fall
When the end of days comes
We will stand
There is a natural order to things
And we have uprooted it
We have upended the earth
In search of power
Our hubris will be humbled
for when the stars fall
we must stand
And watch

You, who have doomed us
Murdered our children and our futures
Oppressed us under the name of
Progress
Watch in terror as we rise
We are done suffering
For the sake of
Worthless money
This is our home
And you are poisoning it
You pollute our waters
Contaminate our air
Burn our planet
No more!
It is time for you to remember
Why nobility of old feared
Revolution

I dream of
Dying
Stepping into the lonely dark
Embracing
The call of oblivion
But
Dreams are just dream
I hold
No wistful longing
For the void

Chronic illness isn’t
Some beautiful
Pale
Girl sitting under a tree,
Book in hand.
It’s no romantic tragedy
Or heartfelt tear-jerker
It’s
Sitting on the floor of your bedroom
2 am
Trying not to cry because
You wanted to be in bed three hours ago
Your body didn’t.
It’s
Obsessively tracking every
Food and drink
Symptom and medication
It’s
Juggling four doctors and work
All at once
It’s
Trying not to *****
Struggling to stand
Fighting
To exist

A tiny dragon sits on my desk
His roar makes me smile
His flames illuminate my pen
His wings
Guard my heart

Hand me a paintbrush
And I’ll splash color across the sky
Wide strokes, vibrant
The sun shines through
Casting the earth in multicolored brilliance
A riot of colors
So that I might show others
The vividness of my mind
Paint my imagination
To be understood

Silence
A curse, masquerading as
A gift, forced into our hands
When we go to
Scream, protest that
We are people
You shush us
Tell us the only way
You will listen
Is if we are
Silent

Oh, you who weep
Rejoice
Mourn no more
The dark has fallen
Smothering the land
And yet
We stand
Stubborn bastions to a proud race
We will not bow to the deceiving night
Instead we watch for the dawn
And while we wait
We will burn those
Who brought us here
For at least, they can be useful
As light

I feel
As if my word have been
Choked at the root
Deprived
Of sunlight to grow
This is the curse of depression
Your mind has no more light
To grow

Watching you suffer
Is like a knife to the soul
When well-meaning words
Rend you deeper, I
Mourn for you
To suffer unchecked
A writhing self hate
Will tear you apart
And I do not know
How to help

Standing is an oddly
Tenuous
Thing; so easy to
Fall when not paying
Attention and oh
How your laugh
Knocks me over and
Drags my eyes towards
You; falling is
Worth seeing the warmth of your
Smile

Nerve damage is
A hell I wouldn't wish upon my
Worst enemy
Six hours of
Constant agony
Sapping my energy for
Anything but curling in the
Fetal position, phone on hand
I can't think
I can't function
Trigeminal neuralga
The most innocuous name
For incurable torture

Here at the end off all things
We stand, united
And watch
The world burn
It is fitting
That those who sought to conquer the stars
Shall fall before them
A solemn witness
To the death knell
Of our chaotic species
Here
At the end of all things

Empty space
Is odd
I am both attracted and
Repulsed
By blank paper
So much potential
Do I marr it
With empty words
Are my scribbles
Worth anything?
I
Do not know
Yet
I write anyway

Fire in my veins
Fuels the embers of my mind
Spirals around my heart
Engulfs me, like a crown fire
When I call, it settles
Over my shoulders, a
Cloak and a shield
I will spit sparks in defense of
Anyone who needs it
For not everyone is driven by
Passion in the blood
Blazing through my bones

My bare
Bowed
Shoulders are scarred with
The testimony of my
Failure and
My suffering
Burdens
Carved into
My bones

Believing yourself to be
Worthless
Is a horrible
Horrible
Thing
You live
And yet
You do not think yourself
To be deserving of being
Alive
For why
Should a useless thing
Exist

I step in a space
Between time
Breath in
The same scents of eons ago
No matter how much changes
I remain anchored
In a ceremony timeless

You have no
Reason to love
Me; for I am as
Attractive as a
Badly made, cracked mosaic
A lumpy *** thrown from
Flawed clay