at times i find it hard
to reach within ones deepest places
one does not know
what things
what thoughts
what memories
lie within ones deepest corners of self being.
i chose to hide from my self,
i chose to run from my self,
i find it easier avoiding these things,
if i could say so
then going forth,
and facing them
i find it easier not thinking
about these memories,
thoughts
but i fear a day will come
that they will burst out
that one day
they will conquer me,
have the better of me
its confusing, unexplainable
i keep thinking for hours.. days..
at times i cant find the right words,
at times i feel lost,
at times not even poetry helps,
i would just rather drown my self in a pond of self pity and regret,
and rather just be over it,
finish this
weak excuse of a so called life,
or existence
or whatever gives us reason
to wake up another morning

My screams loud,
I brake as I shout,
Yet the sound of my demise is confined in me.

Leave me be,
Let me tear my walls down,
Let me carry the weight of my own mistakes,
Even if my soul is at stake.

A heavy burden,
Rage, anger, forever burning,
My self I am mourning,
My hopes are tied to a new morning.

All I need is compasion,
All I want a fraction of recognition,
All I desire.. is a simple smile.

Let us meet there,
let us witness the beauty itself,
Simplicity in the purest form
cherish these moments for infinity.

Where the sky kisses the earth,
where the sun gives birth to sunshine,
where eveything seems meaningless,
insignificant.

Let us meet there,
let us be bold, and feel everything so deeply,
realize that we are one with it,
hold hands and unite in these moments of infinity.

Break through the limits, push our selves towards our true being,
rejoyce, dance, and acknowledge
that we are the creators.

We are the light that shines through,
the darkness that isolates us from the truth,
the truth that gives wings to our souls.

it kept raining,
it kept raining and pouring
I could hear the trees,
I could feel the relief,
the city was breathing.

existance kept it's paste,
but somehow,
everything slowed down,
seemed like even time,
time itself, took a break.

a break from reality,
a tiny pause, as a grain of sand,
in the vastness of the beach,
and the ocean,
combined together,
to rejoice,
rejoice the oneness.

it kept raining,
it kept raining and pouring,
washing away,
all the sins
all the memories
all of it.

only leaving behind
that which always was there,
and hopefully will be,
that is us.

I got my wings clipped,
My heart ripped,
Stripped, of my pride and glory,
Show me,
how the grass is greener on the other side.

I just, might just, take a risk,
At least, this time I wont have anything to lose.

Set loose,
Who's shoes do I have to wear,
Care,  just to show,
What has been there ever since.

Ever since I abandoned my fear,
Never looking back from the rear view mirror.

A hero to lost causes, forgotten stories,
There's always more to it,
Then that which is told,
Liquid metal in a mold.

Shape your self,
Don't be shaped,
In the end of the day, just like me,
Alone you are left.

Still felt like it was a theft,
Even though I only tried to keep you to my self.

eyes clouded,
only in my dreams I can truly see,

see you as you are,
see me,
you see,

my dreams of us
is what we should be,
let the clouds clear
so we can see clearly

open skies,
my eyes
reflect you
as you are,

see you as you are,
see me,
you see,

you are,
without a doubt,
a endless sensation
that resides in me

affection I feel,
love, I harbor,
a part of you in me,
infinity.

all the pieces,
puzzled in ways not even one can understand,
everytime I try,
every intention,
urges me towards you.

burst of emotions,
like a sudden gust of air,
carrying you in every particle,
you
you
you...
days spent forgetting,
turn into nights of remembering,
remembering all of it,
so realistic,
I could reach for,
reach to you,
a pulse of light,
so bright
it beacons.

everytime I get close,
close enough,
to see,
to feel,
to call it a reality once again,
It suddenly gets separated,
simple as you and me
scattered by distinction

depths that I've never felt,
in depths that I've been left

surfacing every dawn,
to once again sink in every dusk,
a cycle so vicious,
so ruthless
a piece of me is lost,
until,
the end of days.

Engulfed in the darkness of the night,
swept by the silence,
surrounded by endless thoughts,
each memory becomes more vivid as I lose my touch with reality.

As the city sleeps,
the feint sound of rain briefly brakes away the tranquility,
for a still moment I find my self,
in that temporary moment,
everything becomes one with the night.

Illuminated by the street lights,
that from a distance,
seem like stars, in a city long lost of its touch, forgotten by the coming of the dawn,
only a few are left to reminisce,
left to feel the depth
in unsettled nights, wide awake
while searching for answers,
answers that are extinct.

find light
in the darkest places
wholeness
in the broken moments
forgiveness
in the wrong places
so many faces
all lost
struggling
trying to reach the surface
catch a moment
take a deep breath
and be alive for second
a second of eternity
what hides behind thee
all knowing
but never itself it is showing
a race,
maybe a game
of hide and seek
for all of our lives
we have been hidden
but we never knew
what to seek
maybe this is
the ultimate goal
maybe it isn't
who knows
all i can do
is write these poems
in the chance of reaching
to someone
to something
which is hidden
deep inside us
something that we are seeking.

I am one with everything as everything is one with me
in the darkness my self I see,
the light which I am made of, the love that lies within me.

I am the sky beyond,
limitless, bound by none.

I am the air which you breath,
the life that you live,
the memories that you still keep.

I am the earth that you walk on,
the ground that you fall on,
the dreams that you see,
the thoughts that you be.

Everything is me,
I am everything.

Sunshine fades away,
compared to her brightness
I wouldn't find another like her,
even if I traveled for light-years.

She makes the stars seem so insignificant,
Her beauty, so magnificent.
All that she is,
all that she will ever be,
for years to come, and years to go.

Her soul, glowing brighter then a million suns,
Yet so tender, a heart mender.
Seen so many, but she still shines the brightest,
So near, yet shes the furthest.

I must be persistent,
In order to brake her resistance.
Travel to the core of her love,
Maybe I'll find my self in it, as I did before..

While trying to find my self,
I have lost my self,
In depths unreachable,
In darkness invisible.

Breaking the social constructs that I am built in,
A war cry echoed through time and space,
Infinite possibilities unfold in front of my destiny,
A destiny worth a thousand peoms.

Still searching,
Still seeking,
Still looking for that which is me,
A soul confined in a human shell.

Eager to see that which is not visible,
to feel that which is unspeakable,
A sudden awe surrounds my mortal form,
Liberation, freedom.

A unique feel of bliss,
the hand of god has reached for that which is within me,
Awakened I am to the purest form that I be.

Pain, guilt, sorrow and fear,
are vanquished in the blink of an eye,
The heavens await me, as I sail through the vast oceans of infinity.

concealed by the fog,
shaded by the darkness,
dulled emotions
sharpen inbetween the haze.

silenced by the rain drops.
leftout,
to only hear my own heartbeat,
each second seems longer than the other.

time is my friend,
time is my enemy,
whats is time?
nothing but a human construct;
a creation of the self,
by the self,
for the self.

my vision is blurred,
sight is a luxury
in such nights.
in such nights,
we get devoured
by our own thoughts.

eaten alive
by things unsaid,
screams that no one can hear,
no one can feel,
but our self.

Sanctuary, peace of mind
Liberation, freedom;
A sacrifice from your piece of mind,
Long gone, foretold and carried by the whispering winds,
I can feel my eyelids, getting heavy
Seen to many wars, too many broken hearts
Shattered, fragments lost in time
Forever lost, forever you must
As leaves and metal turn into dust,
You must, always trust that which is just.
The light, the love
that which is eternal.

Silence, vastness of nothingness,
a whole infinity of emptiness.

This is the way I feel about my self sometimes.
Sometimes I find it hard to hear my own heart beat.

I hunger for something indescribable,
for something out of my reach, something so far away.

I am limited by my own tongue, by my own hands,
Something the mind can't comprehend, something even the ink wont cover up.

It hurts, it bleeds
Yet no one dares to cover my wounds.

I write these poems, seeking to rid my self of this pain.
Suffering, that which makes me feel human,
makes me feel weak, makes me feel so lessened.

In days as such, I linger inside of my self,
Searching for an answer, searching for the unknown.

One day, I hope
One day, I believe
That one day, all of this will vanish.
My soul will transform into a grain of sand,
and forever stay lost in the forgotten beaches of my own agony.

extensions to an emotion
grown like branches on a tree,
blooming towards beauty,
further reaching the sky,
touching the blue
with the tip of the flowers.
life, bursting out,
in one way or another.
endurance, the key
a way of living, so to speak
surviving the storm, or adapting to it.
giving the branches strength,
strength to withstand the worst,
only to be given another day
another day to bloom,
another day to grow,
to branch out, thicken and, burst out
into something unexplainable,
rather observable,
reaching out to hights
and depths, simultaneously.

being in the darkness
that I was,
being isolated
inside these four walls,
left with only a mirror.
I kept looking
but saw nothing,
I kept searching,
but found nothing.
until I met you,
until your eyes coruscated,
iluminating my heart
the brightness was imense,
exilirating.
In years of darkness
my eyes werent used
to such light,
such beauty.
In the mirror
for the first time,
I saw my self,
in my self
I saw you,
in you
I saw love,
in your love
I saw my self,
in my self
I saw that love
existed within me,
within me
a part of you existed
and forever will.

Even the shallowest thoughts run deep,
within my mind,
among the
should have,
could have,
might have
and what if
you're still dwelling
in between,
while i try to get rid,
I find my self staring at you like a kid,
in front of a TV screen,
as I lean in
to change the channel,
it doesn't matter
all I see is,
you
and me,
stuck in reverse and repeat.

Broken, alone I am left,
Tears I shed,
The pure transforms into blood red.

I can't say that I made it,
I deserted it,
In a desert of memories I am left with.

My sight blurred,
My love unsure,
A sickness without a cure.

Left with the vision of your unspeakable beauty,
I ache for the piece that you took from me,
In a world of darkness you are the only light I see.

as the winds
gently touch the flowers,
they whisper,
the songs, the melody
the beautiful notes of those forgotten,
inside of the garden
the music plays,
inside of the garden
the raven dances
into the night
into the darkness

shadows cover the garden,
melodies once heard
only leave a feint echo
of that now
what is left
once from the great dance
alone, the Raven gazes upon
the sadness of the garden

reflected by the moonlight
that which
the naked eye cant see
the human hand cant touch
a feel, emotion
beyond the comprehensiveness
of the mind
reaching out,
the raven opens its wings
taking flight
into the great night

once a keeper of the garden
a holder of the secrets
the moon
witnessed the melding
of a great being
with that, which now
is
only a shadow
of its former self.

Her mind, like the eye of a storm,
Her heart, the center of a maelstrom,
Her being, a thunderstorm
Her pain, clouded and grey

The winds carry her agony, mostly,
consisted of heart break and misunderstandings.

As the captain that doesn't abandon his ship,
no matter the weather or circumstances,
I will endure this storm,
I will survive it, row till I reach the center.

At the very center, lies a treasure,
A treasure priceless, a treasure immeasurable.
A moment of nirvana,
In such moments, lies eternity.