at times i find it hard
to reach within ones deepest places
one does not know
what things
what thoughts
what memories
lie within ones deepest corners of self being.
i chose to hide from my self,
i chose to run from my self,
i find it easier avoiding these things,
if i could say so
then going forth,
and facing them
i find it easier not thinking
about these memories,
thoughts
but i fear a day will come
that they will burst out
that one day
they will conquer me,
have the better of me
its confusing, unexplainable
i keep thinking for hours.. days..
at times i cant find the right words,
at times i feel lost,
at times not even poetry helps,
i would just rather drown my self in a pond of self pity and regret,
and rather just be over it,
finish this
weak excuse of a so called life,
or existence
or whatever gives us reason
to wake up another morning