I try to sing this melody
Of my own fidelity
But I lack this morality
That tells me the reality
Of a life in harmony
With spirits heavenly
I am my own entity
And when I show this identity
It has no truth to humanity
So I speak in brevity
To hide the perplexity
That only few conceptually
Embrace with full integrity
To soar in the clouds joyfully
Like the eagles in serenity
And the gods of heredity
We are the truthful society
Yet know one knows it verily
I will continue transcendently
Like the lotus in her artistry
I will paint mindfully
The visage of prosperity
In all its beauty
So vividly
Until I rest solemnly
In my garden above the galaxy
Where all who truthfully
Flew with divinity
In utter tranquility
While this world unfaithfully
Decayed presently
In the lies of commonality
In this globe of duality
Don’t sing this parody
Avoid the practicality
Your song is skillfully
Hiding from the animosity
You will have your symphony
In a sky of pure unity

Shattered glass upon the ground I walk
With Shards in my bare feet
And skin dry and brittle like chalk
Bathing in my own field of wheat

I am the bread basket of my own produce
The life of my own breath
And the electrician to my own fuse
That cuts the energy from the world's ****

So my dear friend won't you look
And see that I am I
I write my own bound book
With letters of my soul's cry

You are the upholder to your own home
The columns to a distinct bridge
Don't take me from my kingdom
To lead me to the devil's ledge

I ask of you to sing your song not mine
And allow me to write my melody
Of the oceans whispers upon the pine
That speaks my spirit not this felony

Oh how I wish I believed these words
But they tell the lie of a longing heart
That's pierced by frozen swords
I want to help you love, hold your part

I want to be your eternal pillar
And live as one in unison
Resonating the music of our laughter  
Please take me as your woman

Ive planted some posies in a jar
Kept safe in my fancy boudoir
To place in my pocket as I travel far
And mask the stench of my rotting scar

I color my body in a thousand shades
Of these flowers to prepare for the promenades
A fountain of people amongst the maids
To be served and serve as lost jades

I dance the steps proclaimed
With the slough of men famed
And blend with all women tamed
Reaking of  the posies, my body inflamed

My soul screams for white wings
Of the dove as he sings
But as a marionette on strings
I must listen to my given kings

So like the flowers adorn
I'm the jewelry of this scorn
A lie amidst the torn
The princess never really born

The days passed slowly in a drunken haze
As this sleepless delusion was set ablaze
My limbs weakened with the rising sun
While the spiders in my head began to run
Spinning webs beneath my sunken skin
Piercing my veins like deadly sin
Yet through it all my bones withstood
The war taking heed within falsehood
By words of Truth I found my sanction
Even as my spirit dies in such a fraction
And like the dead become living grass
My flesh will live again like sandy glass
But as for now this life consumes me
And I will work like the honey bee
Until the bitter taste on my tongue
Becomes the flavor of the purest young

To be invisible. Unseen. Please I plead. Don't perceive me. Not even the sea. Wash me away. Let the vines of the ocean grasp my naked legs. Have the fish caress the nape of my neck and rip my spine from my flesh. Let the blind be blind. Let me lose these eyes of mine. Can I just lay beside the darkness on the sand with nothing within this human vessel. Just a carcass. An empty shell as the eaten oyster. Feed upon the rotted skin and rancid organs. The heart. Feast on it first. I plead, let me be invisible.

Where has truth gone
And what has it become
But a grain in the sand
Lost beneath rocks
Of broken dreams
And crashing waves
Washed away and replaced
By lies that we all believe
Oh Believer
Oh Denier
Oh Lover
Oh Loather
Where has truth gone
In a whirlwind of hope
We latch onto anything
EVERYTHING
To follow something
But in this we fall
Cutting the ropes of our kites
Drifting
No longer soaring
Resting in the canopy
Of the jungle
Blinded from the leaves
Unable to see true ground
Devoured by the lions
Swept away by vultures
We are the black birds
Of forgotten being
So let us sink
Into oblivion
Enter space and become
The stars of veiled hearts
Shut those pretty eyes
And jump into this black-hole
We all have chosen
Oh Believer
Oh Denier
Oh Lover
Oh Loather
Where has truth gone?

I have a paper box
With secrets I cannot unlock
And memories of older days
From the time I was a fox

I have a paper box
That I carry close to me
Hidden beneath my wings
Weighing me down with rocks

I have a paper box
With no window to enter
So I keep it in wonder
Waiting to see if it talks

Alas, I awaken
Alas, I breathe in
Alas, I open my box
Only to find...




**I am the swift fox
That endlessly talks
With a satchel of rocks
Living in a paper box

Like the tapping of the rain
On top of a tin roof
You fickle with my mind
Plaguing me with your sound
I try smothering you
I paint your face
A thousand shades
But your song keeps singing
Beneath the acrylic veil
Then you return
With all the melodies
Of an untouched scale
That grasp my veins
And draw me into you
I pulsate in cadence
As I fall within my being
The pattern repeats
And this time I bury you
But like the dead come to life
You crawl back into me
I deny these desires
And so I become the monarch
  The great deceiver    
          I am the criminal
          I am the victim
Will this harmony seize?
The thought it lingers
As your gaze pierces my dreams
Goodnight, I will end
Will I find you here?

The whirlwind it pulls
 This skin around my bones
Twisting my weak corpse
Crippling my body 
Drowning all my thoughts
Erasing the torment 
That you left in my mind
I can freely drift
Into the clear sea
Through an  inhalation 
Smoke beneath my wings
Where time dissipates
So I soar as a dove
Under the morning sun
And live on white clouds
In a lovely whirlwind 
Of prophesied demise

Smoldering Heat
Heavy Breaths
Illuminating Lights
Sounds of the pit of Hell

We are the Minions
The Man of Man
Death of All Sins
Lovers Of Truth

BLASPHEMY

Evil doer of Satan
Black eyes of doom
Egocentric believer
Death comes to you

And In your arms is where I want to be
But I can see you are lost in her sea
Where my ship can never safely set sail
So my heart begins to silently wail
These words that you present in a promise
Haunt my mind steadily with this malice
That tore the limbs of this yearning spirit
Realizing the loss of each minute
We wasted hypothesizing that night
Of a time where we could be with no fight
But she is yours forever in this time
Where I am the revenge of her cold crime
With this tears shed into my own ocean
Where I will bleed out this paining poison
And find myself with a freshly white mind
A canvas where you will not be found
So you two will live in your lasting love
Without my breath and the pestering dove

Oh, how strange the day
That casts a shadow on my grave
That I have dug in wickedness
Through the flesh I have praised

I've found the woe in all of this
Yet in darkness I bathe my bones
While I chain my neck to sins
I stubbornly refuse to turn against

Like a sweet apple from a tree
I lust for the succulent taste
Of a fleeting happiness of addiction
That grasps my veins like ******

I've bonded myself to all the lies
That I  have whispered to my soul
Each night as I stared into the stars
And drifted to the hell inside my mind

But in this place I found an angel
That defended the death I claimed
And I, like the vulnerable sheep
Drank the words of all she said

Like a glutinous fool I was quenched
Until the morning came again
And I woke upon the driest desert
My soul shriveled to nothingness

Yet I find somewhere within my spirit
To fight against every ounce of me
That keeps running to false desires
In hopes to find the freedom I yearn

I plead to be crippled from head to toe
To fall on my knees for eternity
Until I'm bruised and broken
And my heart can breathe again

When my lungs are filled with joy
That sings mellifluously throughout
And my eyes burn with passion
Ignited by the purest of light

And like an earthquake on land
May my spirit be shaken violently
Until the day I'm alive again
Where my mind will blossom

Like a field of flowers in the spring
Where the birds hum their beauty
And my thoughts are silenced
While my flesh dances like the bees


Oh, how beautiful this day will be
When winter is quelled by the sun
And every life is flourishing
In the Truth that we all had lost

My heart is becoming numb
As my mind runs in circles
Attempting to escape truth

Life has taken me to the edge
Facing me with every choice
Of which builds my character

Like a mirror I see myself
But I do not fathom anything
I only question every bit

As I ponder where I stand
I find I am not naked here
My bare skin is embalmed

While my thoughts thrive
Like mold in the summer
As they bite like winter cold

Who is this, I’ve become?
How have I arrived here?
And where am I to go?

I long to feel alive again
Wishing I could feel you
As that time by the lake

He’s done something
You have changed me
My flesh cannot understand

With this I become a puzzle
And the vital piece is lost
I am broken like the dead

I’m trying to discover humans
But I cannot complete the task
For I am resting in the silence

That I have embraced
Through the pain I’ve claimed
By the possibilities I denied

The weeks quickly turned to months
As the air became thicker by the day
And this facade I played became me
I converted to the deceiver of my soul
In this life that grew into a stage

But as the dawn would set in daily
The reality I hid would unveil itself
And my thoughts rained on my mind
Like a thunder storm rumbling inside
My hand would grasp the bottle

I would drink from this glass
As if it were liquid gold from the gods
In attempts to quell the lightning
To seize the screaming within my bones
So that I could escape into a dream

Yet as quickly as I would fall away
I’d find myself right here in my room
A cocoon in my sheets on my bed drenched
By the sweat of all the demons I fought
In the slumber that was better than my head

I slipped on these shoes
Two sizes too big
And set out for a journey
For you and for me
With your lipstick I smile
Red as I read once
And I twirl in my dress
That’s really yours
Suddenly I trip over this log
Your actions in fog
So you see I’m lying in dirt
The ant and the flea
I tried so hard to be free
But it wasn’t me
As you I search for thee
I want your clothing
I burn my own in this fire
Please, see this story
I’ve failed in these attempts
I’m invisible
I’m iridescent
I’m illuminated
I’m really nothing
But a Liar
My name should be Cain.

In my delusion
Words will bind
From pen to paper
Raw with insecurity
The truth is here
Resting in my bones
And breathing through
My every pore
My tongue has no chain
And will dance the steps
Of the songs in my mind
Like my body
These words move
They flow and pour
A waterfall in a garden
Hidden in my thoughts
Revealed in naked disposition  
The dance of my insanity
Put before my eyes
My human tendency
I'm awakened
By my own dream
I can see through the paint
I feel it all now
As hot as the sun
I've burnt the lies
And now I'm ash
Blown into the world
Not an ant
Just the kiss in the wind

On the wooden frame of this bed
Lie all the secrets in my head
With the keys to the metaphors
Resting in the crystal glass drawers
Where illusion is prophecy
And the god is hypocrisy
Like a soft dream I never dreamed
With the terror that never screamed
This cradle is the infancy
Of the lies of my fallacy
So burn the skeleton of rest
In the fire within a chest
That beams a golden hue of truth
And eradicates every tooth

Now you shall Speak with no bite
Now you shall Sleep with no fight

From my head to my toes
I want to feel your love
In every fiber of my being
In every curve of my physique
And every imperfection I hold
Fill my lungs with your sweet breath
And leave your taste upon my tongue
My bones they quiver in your hold
So love me boldly, strongly
      Faithfully
Crash into me like ocean waves
Pull me like the moon of the night
Take me as your own
And breathe me into you
I want to be your everlasting lover
The light in your darkest days
And the warmth of winter cold
To be a fire in the water
That we are swimming in
The only air to bring you life
Let us become a single entity
In all this chaos of the sea
Be the salt upon my skin
To drink the flesh I'm living in
A spirit inside your own
We can be the lovers no one has
      Ever known
The dust between our bones
Linger with me here
In the stillness of our love
To be with you is all I need
So love me please
From my head to my toes

the air is heavy tonight
and my heart is an anchor
kissing the feet of my soul
while my lungs begin to swell
beneath the sea of my mind

as the music rings in my ear
mellifluously lingering
reminding me of all the fish
that swim within my spirit
and feed upon my bones

my hands tremor softly
while my skin begins to ripple
as my blood starts to rush
my pulse like an african drum
causing my thoughts to dance

I sink into my bodies’ motion
like a rock thrown into a river
but I sway like a leaf falling
in a somber mid october day

the sounds embrace my head
and as I come back to reality
I see the hell I’ve known
But I see the sun in the moon
and hope to love once again

I was swinging on this swing
Like a child from the past
And these thoughts swarmed me
As the bees do in the spring

The time slowed, but I was happy
A blissful moment I yearn for
When my mind was running wild
But my heart was sound and still

It's in these moments I feel again
The beauty that living delivers us
Like the touch of sun after winter
And your flesh begins to smile

But this has passed and here I am
Again in this pit that I've dug
Where I think myself into a whirlwind
As I sink deeper into the hell I've seen

And so life goes round and round
Like a Ferris wheel spins and spins
But there is no such joy in this
Rather an empty hollow space I know

I'm in the void I ran from long ago
Wishing I would have stayed
Wondering what would have been
If only I accepted the reality I was in

My human self filled with chaos
Has brought me to the false present
That is really the death I've chosen
The very fate I've longed to escape

Yet somewhere in me waits for you
I cling to a hope that circles are lies
And there is a way to end this
That I won't keep ending back here

So as these moments of sleep
Pass me by like the wind in the fall
I will float like a leaf until I land
On the grounds my desire's dream

I want to learn to love again
But my soul seems to only transcend
You've been planted in my roots
And I can only grow with your soft flutes
That sing me to the rising sun
Where I can gleam as the new horizon
But patience must set in
I cannot torment myself with the ***** of a pin
I know my veins are filled with you
My breath was only there when we flew
So stoically I pose their art
But know I only want you to be my real part
To whisper into the breeze
And together reach the gate with our keys
A place we call our own
I'm here my love, on the other side of the phone
Answer me when the moon rises
Hold me in you arms without the guises

Left at my door step
Empty inside
Confused. Delirious 
No place to hide

I sink into my cold bed
 Under the covers 
Lost. Emotionless
No longer lovers

My dreams never come
In my sleep
Blank. White
No more to reap 

A naked seed
Unable to grow
Worthless. Dead
No way to sow

Here in the world
A walking ghost
Pale. Forgotten
No flag to post

You took my coat
In the winter night
Emaciated. Frozen
No life to fight

Good Night

Sober, am I really sober?

My mind has become idle
Even in this sobriety
That’s been gifted in pain
These hands have been worked
And my flesh is shedding
Along with the trees this fall
I’ve been sober for a while
But I’ve adopted a new high
A detrimental self-determined
Deterioration of myself
Trying to escape the reality
Of the life I’ve carved
In the midst of this whirlwind
I can only cling to the purity
That lingers in the silence
Before I shut my eyes for rest
When I’m lying in my bed
Beneath the lies I had told
With all the truth I painted blue
I can see the sober mind
That's sitting still in my head
With all the regrets  I long to toss
Into the pile of bones I buried
With the past I hope to forget
But I am shaped by this all
I am the product of a history
That was written by plenty
Only to be lived by one

In this sober body I call mine

Ashes turned to clouds hovered above my head
And like venom, their rain penetrated my veins
Seizing my heart, leaving me a lifeless mess
I squirmed and slithered through the gaps
That were left inside my decaying mind
In attempts to find the sanction I only knew
When I was safe inside his tender hold
Beneath the stars that spoke our sacred bond
But as quickly as the night would come
It would go and I could see the scars
I've hid from all that were blinded by the light
I was the foolish one, with a crack of a bottle
And the tip of my head, burning fire in my throat
A lost girl in your bed, trying to find the Truth
That I knew so well in your passionate gaze
Your mellifluous voice killed all the demons
Inside my skin, breaking my every bone
The years have passed like the seasons have
And I find that every snake you've killed
Have come back with this storm hovering me
Oh but I was the foolish one who buried you
And exposed my tattered soul in a whirlwind
With a drunken haze, that painted me blue
Yet I still hope in all the death I've seen
That all these things will be turned to gold
And the doves that flew inside our spirits
Would return and kiss our naked souls
Bringing shivers that spoke every silent word

I terribly wish I could express my love
For you, without breaking my neck
I try to hold back the tears as they run
Down my cheeks and I choke upon
Every tear that expresses how I feel
So strongly for you even after the years
Yet I still bite my tongue and listen to
The songs that remind me of the times
That we so courageously loved one another
Regardless of the struggles we had faced
And still today I effortlessly try to hold
Back all the feelings that linger in my heart
While fear reminds me I cannot say
A word that dances upon my tongue
About the way I move with the sound
Of the mellifluous voice of which you posses
It will seemingly be a strain in my throat
A weight upon every cell of my being
Until I can turn back after restlessly running
Away from the only happiness I’ve known
The very truth I once lived in the past

I hear words, but they're silent
Like the dead of the night
Do I make a noise?
As a falling tree
That no one can see?
I have no eyes to perceive
So I'm blind with no dog
But I am a dog
That goes back to his *****
I am the acid of a stomach
The putrid ferment
Of rotted nutrients
I'm the belly of the dead
A corpse is my being
So I am the one in a casket
Death is where I stand
Here I am Hear me now
Or don't, I don't.
Like a deaf bird with no ears
I fly without guidance
I'm hunted by the beast
Bang. Bang.
I was shot. I'm dropping
I hit the ground
Eaten.
By the savage devil
Satan is my name
I am the hell you see
Or possibly the heaven
I've fed your empty self
I'm vacuous though
Your filled with air now
But I won't have you breathe
Because your deceased now
Just like me
We're friends now right?
Ashes of the flaming leaves
We reek of decayed winter
There is no spring
So rest away my darling
Love is not here
We are not alive
Not real.
The end.

I found you in my dream
But only the good parts
In the midst of a hell
You were a protector
A lover holding me close
But it was fleeting
Like all these emotions
Swimming through me
I woke up more empty
Than when I was that night
Alone in the raining snow
Weeping with the winter
This spirit of mine is gone
Resting in the grave
That I dug long ago
I asked to swim in you
And drowned in the lust
As the night falls upon me
My mind drifting away
Along with the sunset
I find the soulless flesh
That still longs for the pain
The ambiguous love
Veiled by sins of humanity
And in this I walk the aisle
A bride to the broken
Like a ******* child
Trying to find the tangible
But only grasping hopes
That linger like dust
Filling my lungs with dirt
A taste I know too well
My fantasy in my bed
Will **** my heart softly
And I will live transparently
As the ghost I have become
I hope these dreams will die
Just like I have a thousand times
You were my vice for too long
I'll bury you with my bones

This home that is my body
is haunted by the demons
sleeping soundly in my head
My veins pulse in cadence
to the dreams in my mind
Memories of darker days
Nightmares peeling my skin
baring my desolate soul
before my own jaded eyes
My spirit dormant in this life
I walk like a ghost in the night
Spent like my withered bones
Alone in the mass of people
And like the molting cicada
I am the hollow shell
With lungs filled with dust
A heart keeping me standing
while i’m falling inside myself
waiting for the next breath

Thy nape bruised by iron hands
Defiled tongues destroy thee
Iced eyes of hell mock thy fear
Oh woe to thee my purest bride
Thy soul murdered by the beast
Mine eyes weep for thy soul
Ill man robbed thee of thy light
Ere death,  thee hast known
That thy grave feet must stand
Woman, thou art precious stone
Of finest luster and fragile heart
Dost man not see thy tenderness?
Nefarious mind of the man!
Oh mother oh child of mine
Prithee strengthen thy spirit
I fain would give thee all of me
But my body hast none to gift
Yet, tis the same Scarlett veins
That doth flow within us, love
Together shall we fight forever
Thy nightmare soon shall rest

She stitched these lines within her seam
As though they were the only truth to beam
Like poetry in the hands of the blind dream
She embraced the words in a soft spoken scream
Cursing the girl she ***** with her scheme
And like a drought she soaked up the stream
Of a girl who had nothing left to redeem 
Now I swim in the air where I no longer gleam
Choking on the dust she carries in esteem

Those blue eyes of wonder
Pierce her heart like thunder

His hands moving swiftly
Playing so beautifully

Her veins pulse in rhythm
A song of this freedom

In this storm forbidden
Where their words are hidden

Two in strange arrangement
That lacks the management

In this sick paradox
She becomes the red fox

For her to breathe
I must tap
              tap
                  tap
The rhythm of her soul
As I ****** her blood
Through
her
tiny
veins
And ignite her mind
I am the fuel
Of her life
The engine
To her
frail frail frame
That carries her
HEAVY
HEAVY
HEART
Oh she is light
She is beauty
But she cries
And I must bring her rain
That flows like the acid
In her stomach
To a porcelain dish
That twists
          turns
And lies
I allow her salt
To pour
For I cannot
STOP
Or she will close
those hazel eyes
And sleep in white
Singing in silence
So I run
          run
            run
For her spirit
is freedom
so I must keep going
I provide
I love
She is mine
I am hers
So let us dance
In her sorrow
And sleep in her truth

Torn apart by two lovers
Who drifted into raging water
The desolate child of sinners
A boy beautifully broken in three
In his doctor’s coat he smiles
To awaken new files
And bring a mass of lies
That deceives the believers
But I see his ocean eyes
And I feel his graying skies
I want to hold him in the night
To see him in the morning
In the daylight of my life
But his maxim denies
And I scream in reply
I will disobey the requests
With a wish to strip him of his coat
Oh boy with a doctor’s coat
I don’t want to be your patient

I've created a time machine
How I did,
            I cannot say
I blindly leave eighteen
And now,
      I've aged five years
To a body that I've seen
I've regressed,
      To my younger mind
I hold keys that lost their sheen
And unlock the doors,
      Of a wounded soul
To stealthily tread what's been
Lying in birth,
      Drenched in salted diamonds
I drink from this rusted canteen
Quenching youth,
       Destroying truth
I move about in this scene
Like a dream,
        It's my own visage
Of a world that's become gangrene
Where I operate,
       And remove the infected limb
I've created a time machine,
How I did,
          I cannot say
But I know that this was forseen
By my thoughts,
          In a ship above the sea

This erratic soul of mine
As found myself in awe
Of everything you are

Your spirit has caught me
Like a fish to the sailor
You've reeled me in so fast

My mind adopted insanity
And my heart is pounding
But my ***** are settle

I've found a certain calm
That allows me to breathe
When I see your gentle face

I am falling without understanding
I long to know your very touch
But laws divide this yearning

I'm left to feel pure insanity
For loving something so quickly
I am the crazed and vulnerable

You've made me find hope again
I've been saved by you
Yet you have no clue of this

And so I will wear this guise
You shall not know of what I feel
But I'm sure you see my affection

It's a puzzle to be solved
This inexplicable care for you
That I hold close to my spirit

I wish you knew the truth I see
That you have brought to me
In my time of darkness in the spring

So I conclude with all of this
I am with you at all times
Through thought and mind

My dear I long for your happiness
And I desire all the good for you
I dream that one day I'll feel you

Yet I acknowledge the improbability
Of all this that I yearn for with you
But I'll give fate the upper hand

And allow her to work her ways
For I do not know what will be
But I do know I only want you

Shadows cast upon them
Tinting their skin charcoal
They reflect like water 
These rays of lies they wear
Around their necks like scarves
That warm and comfort them
But quickly fangs emerge
 ****** them of their breath
And like venom poisons
They are infants to him
His children and his prey
So strike up a new dance
Sing with the drummer boy
Fly to the god you call
Swim softly through sea
Lie innocently  now
And drink the suns sweet juice
With salty rinds and all
To silently rest here
****** by your very own sin
Good night my little ones
Sleep well  marionettes

Deep beneath the willow I lay
Tangled in her rugged roots
Her hands grasp me for life
While I slowly lose my lungs
And her branches rain upon me
Soaking the soil just as my flesh
Swelling my body like salt
Burning my skin like tears in winter
I conclude that this is my fate
Dead in the life of the world
Alive in the truth of raging hearts
I am the weeping willow's daughter
The child trapped in her womb
Never birthed into a singing spirit
But just a rotted carcass
Clinging to anything that breathes

Most nights I lie awake drifting
Thinking of all those moments we shared
I wrote you a letter once
You came and we danced like lovers
Everything was as it was meant to be
As time has quickly passed
I find myself still yearning
For your voice and touch
So mellifluous so true and caring
Yet I'm here alone, wasting away
Simply dreaming of the days
When we lit the sky on fire
And breathed one breath
In the depths of the woods

My mind is aquiver with these thoughts that swarm like bees
Yet just the same my body trembles by the touch of your skin
As your mellifluous voice makes silent the buzzing in my ears

It's strange you see, the paradox that is us, you and I together
There is terror and calm, there is beauty and horror in it all
Like a sort of Yin and Yang but more so just a tug-o-war

With this I look in the past and question the limerence that was
It blinded us and deceived us like a butterfly hiding from a predator
We thought we knew what Love was, but maybe it was never made

We only rubbed our eyes and like phosphenes we saw an illusion
Colors that may only exist in a moment, but aren’t pure reality
Our lives together became so flawed in all we tried to conceive  

The moments of bliss and happiness were always just ephemeral
We got caught up in oblivion, because we lost ourselves before
There never was a truth to see, we were birds flying as if deaf

With this I come to a resolution that our relation was merely cromulent
We attempted to ameliorate something that was doomed from the start
Yet I think there was a sort of dalliance, but simply rooted in the flesh

In lieu of all that happens in life
I find happiness in your mind
I'm reminded of all that is good
When you're there by my side
I know that when I know you
You fill me with a love I never knew
And strengthen me into a woman
Whom could never be without you
He is within my heart that seeks
My mind is opened to all that is
With Him I find all the treasures
I had searched for in my flesh
And my life sees all that I am
Without You I am only porcelain
A doll breakable by the touch
However I cling to you for strength
Where I find all my dreams a reality
You give me every fantasy I longed
And You give me the life i desired
With this I fall to my bruised knees
Praising the beauty you've granted

The rain is tapping on the roof top, a soft breeze whistles through the cracked window. I've lost my mind, lying on the floor, floating, leaving this place. No one seems to notice what my eyes are whispering. Shades of green, bursts of red, and spots of brown, colors to hover the window to my soul. I've lost my mind. I can hear the cries of all the people in the house. The spirits of them all, slowly sinking, drowning in the sea. I wish someone could see, see the truth within me. It's not beautiful, nor bright, but dark and glum. I should hide the grotesque brokenness. I suppose I have this down, no one knows. I lost my mind. The carpet beneath me is starting to brush harshly upon my skin. I toss, I turn and the thunder strikes. I can taste the salt, it burns my eyes and dries my skin. Have I told you, I lost my mind.

Life has become stale
Stagnant like pond water
Gathering the filth of the year
I swim like a fish in circles
While the dirt floats above
Like a cloudy day in summer
I'm warm but heavy in the sun
I can't seem to leave this place
That weighs so heavy on my chest
I breathe as if I were dead
Barely gathering any air in my lungs
This year has been so strange
A foreign yet familiar time
Like an old friend
That holds heartbreaking memories
While feeling like a warm hug
My bones have been withering
Through all these days that pass
I am lost within the light
I am buried in my present
While I'm living in the past
My eyes have sunken into themselves
And my body is tired
Like a worn out veteran
Eating from the garbage
On the streets we silently walk
I am invisible to them all
Yet I see everything before my eyes
And so I continue to wander
In this mirage that has been painted
By the fear that I created
I am the one you hope to leave behind
The very thing you should never know
Farewell to my friends I haven't met

There is so much to say
But I said nothing at all
I gave my tongue to the cat
And cough every word
Into lies that disguise me
I'm the seamstress of veils
I wear all shades and colors
Just so you don't know
That in the end I'm just scared

As she drops from the her delicate branch
Into the sea of the spineless trench

She hears the whispers of the wind
That speak the tongue she wish she sinned

It is the insuperable barrier of lust
For an alluring mind she longed to trust


That plagues her thoughts in the great fall
The last idea she can seem to recall


And so with this she must carry on
With a passion from herself she has spawn

Afar from her tree she will ponder
His every curve and color as she will wander

Into the dawn of a lost existence
Where she can forget the resistance

If only she could grasp his intricate arms
That hold her stem like she's a thousand charms

Of finest cut of diamonds
From the galactic islands

Then she could live the life of her spirits desire
But she knows she needs to extinguish this fire


So she will journey for the answer
To **** the want in her that grows like cancer

Her head in your palms
She's thrashed around
A rag doll in despair
On stained cement
A lingering stench of oil
Feet upon her flesh
Hot from the blood
Rushing to her wounds
And the rain pours down
Salted skin burning
Drying up in result
She's the desert
In the forest of her fear
A dog in a cage
Howling for release
Shaken from the rage
Torn from the mind
Then the music plays
Ants within her nerves
She attempts to inhale
But the air is stale
The lungs are blue
She craves an embrace
A shelter from the hurricane
Then it all subsides
Intertwined in smoke
She found the calm
The ocean breeze
The dew of summer morning

It's been a long time since I took the dive
And now I'm so deep in this ocean
I thought I was numb beneath the water
Yet every breath I take reminds I'm on shore
But I can't seem to hold on to anything

I'm floating in these waves with the bones
Of all the fish that have died beside me
There is nothing left of what I once had
I have given too much of myself away
To all the people who've I've given the power

Now I lay quietly upon my empty bed
Where I'm reminded of how wasted I am
Lost in this haze of the death I now know
I'm nothing but the ashes of an angel
Who gave her wings for the sweet water
That never brought the sugar to my life

Now I'm left with this bitter taste in my mouth
The smokey flavor of all myself I've burned
In the trail I've chosen to hike alone
And oh how I long for the days before this
When I had all of me and purity in my core
But now I must pay the toll for losing me
In all of them who had the chance
To take a part of every bit of who I was

A bitter rind beneath my tongue
I close my eyes and then it sung
The song that sank my silent lungs

With this I spit the blood of fear
A crimson red upon the peer
The color of my hands so sheer

To crumble in this feverish heat
I know the truth beneath deceit
I stand this ground to make this feat

But as he whispers;
                     come with me my friend
      I clasp his hand to the end
**Where butterflies swim and I ascend

Our bodies illuminated in a single moment
These lives become one life
Only to fade in times hands
Dissipating in the air
A stale taste in my mouth
By bitter rinds we left
Remember when we burned
Without igniting our flesh
Through spirit alone
We found each other in our souls
As a singular entity beneath the sun
And under pouring stars
We were the doves of winter
The fireflies of summer skies
Now we are the forgotten
Lost ghosts of the world
Stealthily moving about
As the lovers that never met

I left my heart in his hands today
To be held safely as I went away

"I'll come back to you" I whispered
But my heart had screamed

She waled for me not to go
Yet I knew it must be so

She would survive
He would revive

"oh dearest of mine" I spoke
  " don't worry, just rest in his hands" I choke

I enter the horizon freely
And fade away swiftly

I long for my heart, it's true
But this empty life I must pursue

Until time grants me her magic
And I fly back as a manic

Whence I hold her again
Together we will cradle in zen

Tightly bound to his chest
In a song of no rest

Where our hearts are one beat
And my home is finally concrete

  I've given away my being
As I walk a ghost not seeing

Living empty in space
Until I win times race

Diego tell her I'll be back soon
Diego, I love you and our tune

The clock ticks and ticks
Tic tock tic tock tic tock tock tock
The sound rings in my ears
As the melody plays behind me
A song whispering all my thoughts
My heart beats heavily beneath the air
Thump thump thump thump
This mind flutters like butterflies
Stomach sinking like a rock in a lake
Every memory swims back to me
My ears sink in, the world spins round
As tears trickle down my bare face
Chss chss chssssss
It's a thunderstorm striking violently
A flood destroying my soul
My spirit pounding viciously on my flesh
Thump thump thump thump
Nothing matters in this world anymore
Just the love I've lost and neglected
The pain suppressed under the cement
A scorching fire below naked feet
And so I conclude, listen to the tik tock
The crescendo is slow but escalates
Boom boom boom boom
Just like that the body sets fire
And what is lost is the ash we stand upon
The emptiness we all aggressively seek
Nothingness.