Paint over my eyes so I might see brighter days
Put some blue over the view that was grey
Tell me this world is not a cruel as it seems
Paint over my eyes and paint me a dream

Erase all the nightmares, melt away the snow
Break me from the winter and show how to grow
Leave me with a better view of my day to day
Paint over my eyes and take me far away

She is more than the world will give her credit for simply because it has believed it's overcome her
Taking out the odds and making them even but she's an oddity that I believe in
See her as she flies her song onto yonder tightrope, balancing every note on thin wire
A girl who find life's a three ring thing filled with children, so you might as well have fun as you interact

She is something of a wild thing that can't be tamed and a thing whose name I can't seem to think of
A wonder in herself by a God who just said "What the heck" and made an angel with technicolor wings
Hear each letter as it falls upon the silver page and scribbled in bronze inside her golden notebook
The silent river that runs deep careening into life and love, roaring at the end into the sea

She is someone who deserves the very best of things, though worst may come, she never lets you down
Thinking of most thoughts that go unthunk by highly trained thinkers, thanking the people in her mind
Know she sees you passing by and winks with a glance, a chance you'll get before she passes by
Wandering to find something which she may not be looking for, a truth inside a door which is key

She is not one who will cry over the simplest of things, but when she cries, her eyes unleash a storm
So she may be the reason raindrops are falling on my head from a leaking ceiling in my cabin warm
Feel each heartbeat as it generates a moment when a silver tear may escape her soul's window
She is no ordinary girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, but buries it in hopes something may grow

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction

I have a love unending
Transcending space and time
Living in the world I create deep within my rhyme
And I stand 'till I choose to sit
And I will sit for now
Wiping inkblots off my page as if sweat from my brow

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction

She was and still is the girl
The girl who was unobtainable
Yet my body stays restrainable as I sit here scribbling
Tossing her hair over her shoulder
I stick to my seat as if atop me's a boulder
And I try to convince myself that I'm too busy

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction

I am a boy who doesn't take chances
While the words dance in my brain
And I write of love and true romance and live them on the page
So my **** has finally decided to not partake in the occasion
And stay seated so I'm not defeated to prevent sorrow's invasion

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction

My brain and heart battle for control
Of shifting feet and lover's soul
And what stands as inconceivable is why I'm so lost
A chance is a chance and that is all they are
And I need not travel very far
Not trying is still losing and standing and sitting both have their cost

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction                                                                                        

Heaven's eyes lie through ruby curls
She meets my glance and smiles at me
While I stew with ink-stained fingers here in purgatory
Stand up, **** it! Just stand up! My heart and head reach a conclusion
Pages only go so far and the safety of sitting an illusion

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Level-headedness was never in the job description
Pushing away this world like it's a bad addiction

I stand up and find, to my surprise,
My legs choosing to support
Dropping pen and picking up the ball that's in my court
And I walk up to the girl who plagues my dreams
As if her very being, to me, beckons and calls
Only to hear the world laughing at me as I slip, trip, and fall

And hell is all to real to the boy who occupied purgatory
With tear-filled eyes from looking to heaven
With ****** nose caused from leaving his seat
Seeing my chance flutter away as I run out of the room
Indented in the red haired girl's eyes as a simple buffoon

Let's back pace, erase my face from your memory
I will leave and make you believe my new identity
Coming back another day to claim my love once more
And being ever so careful to make sure my face meets yours, not the floor

Change the pace, replace, then sing
The words, unheard, the tempo focusing
And unto hallowed voices bring
A little bit of clarity

Please part the clouds of smoke we've made
While songs of hope burst like grenades
The smog now cleared, amidst the haze
So we therein might find bright day

Barefooted runs, dirt between toes
In chorus, a million solos
Rise up, a message from the globe
Live more, cry less, sing as you go

When did love entangle you and change your face my friend?
When last we spoke your heart had broke and you were at your end
A dagger in one chamber and a longing in the next
With thump and bump, you seemed equally stumped as you were vexed
Perplexed at how love complicated and inebriated you
To see an elixir when there laid a poisoned brew
And in your worry and haste-filled flurry you drank the vial dry
They byproduct the misery that pushed tears to your eyes
Yet here you stand, with love in hand, the grim and grime wiped away
With a smile and tune in tow that gleams in the day
Dare I say hope for the hopeless, friend? I dare not jinx the malady
For love it seems has made a dream from a catastrophe

I have been mesmerized by mystical whirlpools of blue
Which stand in your constant stare in the deepest tint and hue
And I find I am captivated to no end with unspoken feeling and word
As I share in a conversation in which nothing can be heard
And all I pray is that you might let me clear your hair off your cheek
So my lips may land on their rosy tint and my passion may finally speak
For in this lies an unseen trasaction which you and I only know
As the blue in your eyes bring me far from shore and the waves of love seem to grow
Oh dearest girl who holds the essence of passion through and through
In my heart I can't deny I've devoted myself to you
Let me hold you close and caress your soft, soft skin
To warm you in the coming fall which reaps harsh winter winds
And in every action, every stare, every breath, I pray you know my heart
Which beats and aches to gaze into God's favorite work of art
I'll be your knight, your soldier, your lover, your partner forever true
For I have been mesmerized by mystical whirlpools of blue

Take my heart, then liquefy
Till it's contents bubbles red
Inject it within you veins
Let it cloud the worries in your head

Predict each and every fix
Keep a vial of it at all times
Drip some on the tip of your tongue
As your iris behold purple skies

Make my love your addiction
Get high when you're feeling low
Chain my elixir around your neck
So you'll feed on my love as you go

If she must fade from you
Then give the Devil what is due
The bridges burned, the gates unscrewed
Have left you gaping, griping

For you saw Heaven from a view
Then were struck blind as if on cue
As it was ripped away, in truth
It was never truly yours

Your state of mind was so askew
That you asked Satan to carry you
To give you favor, did you assume
That it would turn out well?

I see.

Hellfire stuck like glue...

Your skies grey, so you paint them blue

But the Devil is quick to do and undo

And now she’s gone... gone...

Gone.

Leave the kettle on the stove, I'll be home soon
Keep things as if I've never been gone
I walk the land through blazing sun and chilling moon
Pray for me that I might carry on

Take a picture of your face, send it to me
So I might remember what I'm fighting for
Mail it along with a flower from the lilac tree
That littered the porch right up to your door

With gun in hand, I understand the words you say
In the letter I read in the rainy night
Telling me, come home, come home my soldier, come home today
Put the fight aside and make sure you're all right

This distant land, this distant shore bring no solace to me
Except for the joys you send now and again
Your soldier lies with unresting eyes until you I see
And will fight for you till his fighting can end

I would trade a dollar fifty just to have a moments peace
And it may not seem much, but in truth, it's all I have
The winding of the clock on my wrist seems to never ever cease
And all my friends try to reassure me it's not that bad
But each ticking, talking second speaks to me in a impish voice
Waving goodbye as they jump out my window pane
Too much work, so much trouble, popping bubbles called my dreams
As the ticking, talking rings around my brain
So let's trade

There is nothing that comes free in this world of hollow shells
And the only thing more hollow are the victories
For as time rolls by the lines in my face become more evident
And my eyes squint as I try to look for grasses green
Every noise that enters my ear, every person who beckons me
Is a clamp upon my chest leading to a heart attack
So many things that I've done in the past and presently
That I find the hardest thing's not looking back
So here's my dollar fifty

I know you read, hear this, know this entire rhyme to be as true
As the blue we try to paint on greyer skies
I would beg you take my money now, because the clock is ticking down
With this poem alone at least half an hour's gone by
So I get on my knees and pray for one minute and thirteen seconds
To the one who outlasts space and all time
I would be lying if I said I didn't feel my age counting down the hours
So all I can do is pray for peace of mind
And offer my dollar fifty

My time has come, my love
My time has run out
So with a sigh I lean forward to kiss your hand
And I pray my lips will never touch your skin again

For the Devil, oh the fiend
The Devil has called my card
And a deal must be honored even amongst the wicked
And a soul must be taken, my love

Hear my heavy footsteps
Hear them echo through the halls
As I walk towards the door
To see you nevermore

See the dark clouds engulf the evening
Hear the thunder roar
Feel the heat in the room as the door creaks open
For I will see you no more

Fear the figure standing in the front
The pale man with red, wicked eyes
The man who holds your love
In a paper signed with blood

Look for me in heart and nowhere else
Pray we never meet again
For all that awaits me is fire and anguish
But a price must be paid for a prize

Hear the moaning of the wind
As the Devil smirks and the door closes
As you sit there with tears in your eyes
And know that tears are temporary

Keep the door shut, my love
Forget the kiss upon your hand
Forget the weight upon your heart
For a debt has been paid, and I am this world's no more

So live on my love
Live the life I gave for you
And forget my touch and my memory
For love weathers even hellfire

If the sky should fall for me and, from stars, make a tapestry
Mind mind would have the audacity to still drift to your smile
For all the gifts the sky could give could not compare to having lived
Within the reach of your tender lips and unflinching guile
With soft hand wrapped tightly round mine, the sky's claim to me is empty, benign
A hollow promise that would ring once and fall flat on the floor
And I would find you past these fickle things to give a foolish boy his wings
For you've given me the stars in your stare, my dear, and so much more

You are the cause of the tears I cry which means that you must stay
For contrary to what you may have heard, I don't cry every day
My heart is but a fortress placed upon an island around tossing seas
And you broke down every barrier when you caused this crying
The tears are falling down into the oceans surrounding the walls
Rising the sea level and forcing me search for shelter in these halls
Shockingly I find you there staring with your starstruck eyes
And every time I look at you, the water tends to rise
Don't mistake my grasping you for enjoyment, though, my dear
For although it may seem contrary to my lines, I hate these tears
I let go of far too much of me when they run down my face
But the only way to stop them is to once again feel your embrace
So I will wait and pray I do not die inside this sea of love
Yet I also pray I may drown in the thoughts which I am thinking of
For to like is not to love and love is deadly at times
And I have found the one I love inside these tears I cry

Call her summer till you lungs are blue
But she's my winter always
She is who always forced me to
Hold her closely each and every day

Call her lovely and you'll make her cry
She only believes it when I say
She's has been taught to learn that men lie
Just so they might get their way

Find in silence, she'll sing her heart out
Just to drown out the sad
Of her wonder, all have not one doubt
Her grace exceeds the bad

Hold her closely and she'll shy away
My arms are the ones she claims
Call her summer each and every day
But her winter remains the same

Dip the moon in gold
Oh my darling
Remember the night as it should be
Let the stars accent each thing that unfolds
Let me tuck you in away from the cold

Dip the moon in gold
Keep it pristine
Let me see you grow beyond me
Remember the nights when I hold you dear
Deep the moon gold as you lie here

You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help

Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know

There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents

No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding

Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly

The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and see my heart stays true
Beyond the foamy ocean's grasp to where the skies of your eyes are blue
Look for me upon the clouds and call for me in a dream
Lead me home with a beacon whose light comes in steady streams

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and let no tear nor whimper escape
See the silver spoon that lies on my overflowing plate
Know that every gift that graces my hand reminds me of you
And know I look towards the horizon as I keep you in my view

Call me homeward, Alexandra, I await your sultry kiss
Walking on to find that you are my only form of bliss
Seeing you upon the shore as the wind combs through your hair
Whispering to you of how your love wishes he were there

Call me homeward, Alexandra, and I will not be long
Listening to your heart beckon with its harmonic song
I am on a distant shore, but in faith, my life is yours alone
For only when your call does cease will I find myself are home

I found that spring would then sing and leave in haste
As if to torment me with a hint of a taste
And I would be left there wondering what could have become
Of me if I could have stay in spring before the song was done

And summer it blazed as it always has and always will
And fall was so nice but left me with winter's chill
All of the seasons that tried but could not fill spring
So I sit and wait until once again I hear it sing

Hold my hand and fly, and fly
My sweetest Caroline
Falling is the nectar of life
Like sundrops, from your eyes
Sing of souls once downtrodden
Who will see light in you again
Hold in time, this hand of mine
My sweetest Caroline

Keep in view, in view is you
My lovely Ashley Ruth
Pray in day your dreams come true
Though these dreams of yours are few
Keep in mind the hopes you treasure
Love is truth, not always pleasure
Float right through from greys to blues
My lovely Ashley Ruth

Run as if the summer wind
My darling Madelyn
Show the spring where to begin
In this cold world we live in
Stand stronger than the maelstrom
Pray for what the world might become
Heart of gold in plains of tin
My darling Madelyn

If I could choose a forever, if I should choose a day
Nary would I hesitate nor would my heart be swayed
To spend eternity or a second in you embrace
To share a second or ever after gazing upon your face

If I should be immortal or finding my dying day
My skin forever filled with color or my ashes fly away
Not one doubt would fill my mind of the joy you bring
Ever today and ever tomorrow, to my darling shall I cling

Oh my love who left with the falling snow
I wonder why you've wandered and where you did go
Spring has come and with it songs that simply fail to me
For I lost you when trees were bare and they are not lush and green

Oh my heart, your door was closed but I forget to lock it
And now you stay so far away within my love's coat pocket
That door that remains open lets in the wind and how it moans
Bare as a forgotten cupboard in a house that is no home

Dearest love who left when the snow began to fall
Since white blankets have laid and thawed, I have not ceased to call
Yet where you are, there you stay, and why, I do not know
But you made sure that winter stayed and that it might never go

Carry me love as the morning sun fades
For I am a pilgrim who is worlds away
And this planet of your seems only to be getting colder

Rockets fly above beyond the human eye
Amongst Earth's stars there are cars in the sky
Wrap me in a blanket, put your head on my shoulder

Tell me of the fools, who love instantly
Count them all out, don't forget to add me
I am weak-kneed at the sight of you, oh the wonder

For I have seen stars sing their sweet lullabies
Been throughout the heavens, the highest of high
Yet none can compare to world that is you

Give me some notice when your eyes are closing
Dream and create things while you are dozing
This alien to your land will be ever gazing

Feeling each heartbeat as well lay on the grass
Watching the waving comet fly past
Reflecting in your eyes, which are simply blazing

Amazing.

Sleep dear child, hear lullabies
Screams echo in the street, love
Mother's whispers, closing eyes
No tears on your soft cheek, love

Sleep dear child, though fire does fall
Sleep in sultry peace, love
Ash your blanket, tinder calls
The sky burns, so dream in sleep, love

Sleep dear child, no crying now
Ground cracks beneath our feet, love
Sweet dreams through nightmare, see not storm clouds
The nightmare's almost complete, love

(Verse 1)
This is where we break, for I find I can't face you again
The taste of your lips and the feel of your cheek
Are the things my body cannot seem to defend

So I go
Far away
For in my own dismay

(Chorus)
Yours is a heart that's better off without mine
And though deep inside I know I'll love you for all time
Fare thee well, goodnight
I hope things will work out and your dreams come true
For though love is magic, I cannot fall in love with you
With you...with you

(Verse 2)
They say I'm foolish, that I should have sat down and stayed
But I knew deep inside I'd be wasting your time
And with me all your dreams would just flutter away

So I go
Far away
And in this I find so much pain

(Chorus)
Yours is a heart that's better off without mine
And though deep inside I know I'll love you for all time
Fare thee well, goodnight
I hope things will work out and your dreams come true
For though love is magic, I cannot fall in love with you
With you...

(Verse3)
So many things left unsaid in my head, in my mind
And these tears drop novels as I sit here so hollow
Looking at the love I had to leave behind

So I go
Far away
Hoping I find you once more someday

(Chorus)
Yours is a heart that's better off without mine
And though deep inside I know I'll love you for all time
Fare thee well, goodnight
In my dreams I'll always think of you
For though this may be tragic, my heart will stay true
For you...for you


(End)

Tethered feathers sing their long lost songs in solos that were once symphonies
Falling from swan-like wings of a lone angel and floating along a reflecting stream
The misty haze graces both water's surface and the resting angel's skin
Making the glow from her shining halo all the more evident

See as she sits inside the arms of an elderly weeping willow
Fireflies gracing her satin hand as the glow from her skin does billow
The natural string quartet of the crickets under a full moon's glow
A silent moment in a place and time that mortals may never know

Looking upon the star studded sky that is her open field
Flying with the grace of many a dove whose untamed beauty shall not yeild
Yet landing on dirt ridden ground to see whatever it is she may please
Trickling tears coming from your eyes at the sight of such travesties

Oh angel, if feather must fall, then let it, but not one tear from your eye
At this hallowed sight and glorious eve where Heaven and Earth coincide
And if tear must fall into the waters under the arm of the willow tree
May it harden into the whitest of pearls so I might keep it here with me

Let sultry glowing moonlight be your constant company
Filling the darkness and contributing spotlight to your scene
May silver moonlight and  silken feather compliment each detail
And pray the moon does not fade away and break this scene, so frail

Dear hallowed breath of the midnight hour, take note of this rare time
So you may utter this instant in this poet's ear and turn it to hallowed rhyme
The instance where an host of Heaven indulged in a glimpse of Earth
And with a tear turned into a pearl showed what our instances are worth

"Angels can't be black, stupid" she said to me
And she said it so matter-of-factly
To the eight year old boy with a figurine
That his mother gave him, looking so kindly
And I didn't know of her words nonsensicle
But everywhere I looked, in books, store windows and tv specials
I saw that angels in serenity with floating halos
And all of them were white

So I was down, not surprisingly
Because think of how mad or sad you'd be
To find Heaven's hosts had no minorities
And that an angel could not be made of me
And angrier I became as on tears I choke
To be the **** of that little girl's joke
And to find all the words my mother spoke
Might be only lies and fairy tales

And with my head planted on my desk
The angel next to me did rest
As my teacher saw my distress
And question my obvious bitterness
I shrugged her off and her query grew
"Nik Bland, what in the world's eating you?"
And I told her what that girl and the whole world knew
About the fable of my figurine

And she listened to my childlike woes
As tears streamed down, sobs did grow
And she nodded as I said I did not know
A single place in the bible where minorities showed
A trace and she went up to the class
And spoke that, scientifically, in the past
It's been shown that the brown skinned and blacks
Were the colors of the first of the human race

So that sparked a fire within my mind
To realize that if humankind
Found a way to travel back in time
They might be seeing an ethnic Adam and Eve
And she showed me on the map the Middle East
And my heart rate slightly increased
To see it held Israel and Bethlehem, doubts then ceased
As I saw the mixed skin color of their people

And as the class pondered this, she came to me
And told me very quietly
Of her and her Christianity
And of Jesus, whose chose his mixed coloring
And with tears in her eyes, she put that angel in my hands
And to me that I must understand
That God looks past the color of the man
For He painted us all

And Christian or not, you must admittedly
Say that the world is a piece of artistry
That is incomparable to any man has in the making
And that we are all living here equally
And show we pass on, some soon than most
But with belief in Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
That eight year old boy could proudly boast
About the angel, so serene... and black

I have found the deeper love and lost it in a blink
And the brand it made upon my soul I find forever sinks
And within that brand a battle takes place that the world has yet to see
A calling like a trumpet comes from my depths for a love that is calling

The vivaciousness of it all brings a rush to the blood flow
A strength in my heart and a call to my brain that causes my legs to go
The underlying conflict in the yonder depths of this body creates a warmth unknown
Forcing me to take action in the world I am in

But oh, the thing I fear. The thought that plagues the back of my mind
When the gunpowder ceases and the cloud of smoke settle whatever will I find
A wounded heart is one thing, but all battles come at a cost
And what will I do if I in the turmoil that the gain and the wager have both been lost....


Love is a battlefield... And the only way to win is to fight on...

She'll never know this poem is for her
Here eyes will glimpse upon it
She'll rave of the lovely sonnet

But she'll never know she inspired every word
The tears will fall somewhat in part
Of each line piercing her very heart

But tears will pass and she'll never even see
The pencil struck the empty page
From how she impacted this unspoken sage

And anonymous will my love forever be
But the lover's scribbling will forever go
In hopes one day she'll wake up and she'll know

I write about you as if doing so will make you real
Haven’t met you, yet I know how you make me feel
Or maybe the reality is I have and the want is from memory
Pen to paper should imitate passion inked on you by me

No doubt that I am foolish, time winds and leaves us scarred
As if contradicting doors with a dozen locks, yet still ajar
Reminiscent of bruised fruit, but the heart only feels hunger
With you satiating the wanting and the ever driving wonder

And the poetry has gone on so long I know not if your real
I have no regrets, as the pen bleeds only what I feel
My mind like a drunken witness with an unreliable memory
With that in mind, I paint dripping words with my visions of you and me

Whoever you may be

There is violence
Thrashing
A gnashing of teeth
Burning
Tossing, turning
A smell of ash
That leaves one distraught
A hunger
Packed within a thirst
That pales the face
Drains the blood
And leaves an emptiness most hazardous
Dangerous

And what stands as sharpened blades
Broods internally
Biding, biting
Waiting
Anticipating moments of weakness
Unshaken
Under the skin
Itching
Tearing and roaring
Inside a cage
Composed of silence
The wolf within the man

Paper skiffs amongst purple cliffs, an eye and I between
Floating along with hummingbirds, sea of green under me
And I behold such wonderments that stand so wondrously
The world in the hands of a painter, a painting so awe inspiring

Floating as the flowers pass and shine immortal hues
An eye of mine so filled with joys, colors spilling into view
A world of gold, in whole, a world of both the old and new
All these things from a paper skiff, purple cliffs, and skies of blue

She's never seen these flying dreams
As the streams of melodious songs do follow
Holding onto the scent of her hair in my mind
As if sealed so tightly in a bottle
Sending messages so serene
Opening once undiscovered doors
All this from passing a girl
I've never met before

She'll never know those five minutes of longing
The sorrow that came and gone as she passed
The strings on my heart plucking away in me
In a medley never meant to last
In that moment she was all there was to me
Her feet almost seemed to glide on this dusty floor
No inkling of the song I heard or the things I'd felt
The girl I loved and had never met before

We shall hope 'till the candle held has been extinguished forever more
We shall dream until they become reality
Never faltering or falling 'till our hearts have been run dry
And they shall run dry only after ocean and sea

We shall raise our eyes & forever see the stars of gold
Aiming high in a silent, predestined wish
Holding fate in the palm of our hands and shooting it to the sky
Keeping faith alive in a world which seems to die

And in our eyes will shine a light that acts as beacons in the black
Not mistaken for careless optimism
For we will see not only the light in the world, but the potential to banish the dark
Shining light through our iris like a prism

We will hold the truth of such things in the depths of our being
Failing not to see such things in each soul
Feeling blood rush, burn, or spill with every moment in our lives
Knowing we are beyond any man's rule or control

And we will ring in the air like a voice of a god
Pronoucing words such as these with graceful thunder
So all may aspire to be in this world we've created within
Seeing the romantic realism in all it's wonder

Here we are in a valley amidst a mountain of troubles
Running out of breath as the world pops our bubbles
Using our wands to push wishes up to the stars

We reach for the sky, but our feet they stay grounded
In a state of mind that I'm sure that we've founded
Trying to find our way like a tourist with a map in a car

Ever spinning, the inning is only the first
If life is a stage, we've forgot to rehearse
The bubbles bursting in our eyes, causing unforeseen tears

And amidst the mountains and unforeseen sorrows
The confusion of yesterday, unseen skies of tomorrow
My only solace lies in the comfort that you, love, are near

I'll brave the woes, as long as you're here...

Dark brown hair that matches her eyes
The girl in the woman who tries to survive
Amongst the concrete of grown ups and serious things
She looks to the sky and she wishes for wings

Notes of melodies pass the window
Of the office of the girl who sways to and fro
From the 53rd floor at her desk she does sit
Questioning, wondering, if this is it

Doodling flowers on figures and sheets
The woman is busy, the child incomplete
As the synthetic air blows in the office space
The polar opposite of a warm winds embrace

Clocks tick and bring a tune to her mind
So far in her life and yet she feels left behind
In a world of numbers and frivolous words
A girl in a woman just longs to be heard

Aspirations of princesses are miles away
Longing for daylight in a castle of grey
As business pushes on, so dreams still survive
The girl in the woman fights to stay alive

I find I am hollow
Empty
Serene in the silence
Alone
My feet soundless, swift
My face unmemorable
My hand shook by men of passionate deceit
And I find myself filled with their purpose

Purpose of others drives me
Craving no prize, praising no God
Only me
Only violence
Soul pushed to the cages in the back of me
My body is honed
My weapon part of me

I fly but no wind follows
I break the unmendable
Harbinger of silence
Deliverer of death
Revealer of mortality
Ender
Money and treasure for blood and breath
Unrelenting, unavoidable

Hands choking pulse from veins
Slowing
Necks crack as they swing out of place
Breaking
Gun hot from parting lead bullet
Body heavy as it drops
Death will come swiftly to any, to all
Until I am emptied once more

My wishing star fell from the heavens and into the depths of hell
Leaving me without a hope to fill this hollow shell
So if you wonder why my head's down, it because I've searched for it in the sky
Finding it's light has been extinguished without a single goodbye

Hell has come by once or twice and knocked upon the floorboards
Taunting me and prodding an already open sore
The thing that remains to be decided is whether or not I'd want it back
Knowing the charred remains lie somewhere as it's luminous white turns black

So hear I stand with head to the ground and tears welling up in my eyes
Hearing the darkening sky which gives me reason to cry
Not a hope, not a dream, not a song, not a wish, not one story to tell
Not since my wishing star fell from the heavens and into the depths of hell

I may seem so heavenly in all the things I say
The words that fly with silken wings may chase your gloom away
But I, in all, tell lies of love, for I've found not one that lasts
So I apologize to you for poems of the past
Tears fall continually into the pen with which I write my words
Manipulating romantic tendencies so I may somehow be heard
But even the most vile demon can speak words of honeydew
But all you'll find is with those words they run off to hell with you
So look at me beyond this shell and say those three words again
And if you find they are sincere, I will stay until the end
But until my scribblings on this paper turn to played-out verbs
Beware of me and of promises, for they may be only words...

With you I’m the least alone
That I have ever felt
And in my mind that’s something
If not anything else
I think I’m chasing something
And my feet hurt as they hit the ground
But with you I at least breathe and slow down

With you I’m the least alone
That I’ve ever dared to be
And I am more transparent
Than around anyone else, genuinely
And happiness it holds my hand
And I don’t feel threatened to let it go first
In fear it’ll leave me like I started but slightly worse

With you I am the least alone
And the least deceitful to myself
And though there are things sorely lacking
In my mental health
I am at least making strides
My legs shaky, but my own
And it hurts sometimes, but I’m learning to grow

With you I am the least alone
But I’m still a nervous wreck
And emotional state
That I pray I don’t project
And I’ll be here as long as I’m allotted
And I’ll consistently be working on me
Because I’ll always be a little bit lonely

But that’s me.

Open these blinds
Let me see the moonlight
So long I'd find
I've been hidden from these sights

Tonight, awake
Bathed inside milky hues
I sit, my heart quakes
Nevermore reveling in skies of blue

Are you out there
Beyond the atmosphere watching
Stars shout their fanfare
As the silver dollar moon sings to me

Tears of crocodiles
Fall down my face, come and go
I look onto the night
Oh departed lover, I miss you so

I watched my heart sink into you
And knew not what I was to do
To retrieve such a precious thing
That away from you I could not bring
And so love locked at the sight of you
'Till it overtook my blurred view
And I was left with nothing right
As my heart was unjustly stolen that night

Shortness of breath
How fitting
As the socially deaf start in the bidding
Of a mind
Of a heart
And soul
Of a billion
See me in my frustration
See the color of my skin
How is the least of these
The most important of all?
I hear the anguish of breaking glass
Broken spirits
They call
Losing hope as a burning world
Scares me half to death
Empathize
Because who will you run to
When you’re the oppressed?
Silence in respect
Join me as I raise my fist
(Beat)
Hands up
I surrender
Tears fall, this may be it
Will I be missed?
USA
Born and raised
Living grenade
Shaken, beaten, and stirred
And when I explode
Anarchist?
Terrorist?
That’s absurd
I am a product of a machine
That grinds me into dust
You may be in the same gear
Don’t ignore it
Discuss
My brothers
My sisters
It is clear
Blood is red
How are we so divided
With the same thoughts in our heads?
Let scars remind of the pain
Wash the anger from your hands
Ceasefire, be at peace
Don’t make new cuts
Understand
Wrongs do not right
Our message must be clear
A crowd must scream in unison
For them to properly hear
Demand
And march on
Open eyes to the plea
Change must be made
Pick it up from it’s knees
Help me, help you
Help us
Who’s next?
Clearly see
We all slowly suffocate
When one of us cannot breathe

I can’t breathe...

#blacktuesday #PartOfAColoredPeople #icantbreathe2020 #BLM #BlackLivesMatter #peacefulprotest #MarchOn

If my words inspired such things
As demon's fire or angel's wings
Then the words I'd write might be warring
Like opposing, blood-stained kings
Each word in depth as if a book
The letters soldiers, a chessboard's rooks
With swords that clashed and shields that shook
As hallowed ground was overtook
Such damage or healing my words could share
Each one sweet'ning or staling the air
An angel's kiss or demon's snare
The choice being mine, both side both there
Oh, what effects these hands could bring
From siding with such warring kings
As grounds they shake and swords they sing
With raging fires and beating wings

Dear boy, dream man, whomever you are and whomever you make haste to be
I ask you look at her as you do the stars and take care of her for me
For she deserves more than I can give and knows more than I can grasp
And if it comes to it I pray you'll know if you're not up for the task

Dear joy, dear sun, dear heavenly heart, see the dreams that come to you
And let no man or creation of God ever obstruct your view
For there are forces beyond my knowing that placed blessings in your eyes
So as you grow, as do they, so don't waste time asking why

Dear boy, dream man, realize her treasure and beware you don't abuse her choice
For though she chooses you remember that she's the reason angels rejoice
And that poetry, as moving as it is, lied motionless before she arrived
So I pass this flower onto you in hopes you may keep it alive

Dear joy, dear girl, dear woman today, see the things I know that you are
And that even as the journey ahead gets rough, you have the potential to travel far
And know in love, in heart, in soul, with me you'll always be
For I know the rose that you've always been, and I pray, in full bloom, you I see

Oh little baby girl who stays so close to my chest and whose world is vast and wide
I feel you clenching ever so tightly to me as I carry you in from the rain outside
The thunder roars and I hear your squeals as you bury yourself in my arms
Know your daddy will assuredly save you from any type of harms

I'll kiss your forehead and carry you to your room and sactuary
As I wipe the water off your face and hug you if things get scary
Wrapping you inside a freshly laundered towel and drying off your hair
Looking into your quivering eyes and showing I'll always be there

Telling you to hold on a moment and seeing you quietly nod your head
Running downstairs and preparing a treat as you call for me from your bed
Grabbing sheets from the closet and string as an idea come to view
A homemade tent, some tea for me, and hot cocoa for you

With all things gathered, I race back up and you look at me and smile
I return it with a bigger, more wrinkled one as I see my little child
As we sit there and sip our warms confections you giggle and your comfort grows
With foam upon your upper lip and a missing tooth in one of your pearly white rows

And we will stay here 'till the thunder chooses to finally cease
'Till my tea is finished and you are weary from your tent and little treat
The feeling of your gentle arms as they loosen and I tuck you in to sleep
Then walk to the door with my eyes set on you, your trance strong and deep

Looking at my little baby girl and the love that will never be severed
Knowing no matter her age, size, or tooth count, she will be my baby girl forever
Then walking out the door and pulling it close so she's just out of my view
Only to hear her barely say, "Goodnight, daddy. I love you..."

And I saw candles in the skylight
That forced me to look outward
Their flickered flames in twilight
Made is so there was not an echoed word

I looked upward, onward
At a world ending above me
As if a deaf man’s silence as he hears
The first strings of a symphony

Under that purple and crimson sky
The masses joined my gaze
Looking to horizons, not one eye dry
As endless candles floated in the haze

The sun it set, or did it burst?
A gasp, a rush, then no more
As candles fell from darkened sky
And set fire to the floor

But I will remember the penultimate
The flickered flames in technicolor sky
The beauty near the ending for which I was present
As all and all and all said goodbye

Cracked is all I’ve known
Frayed lines my only home
My soul is pouring out like yoke
I find I’m not whole

I have yet to find a “why”
Too poor to live, too young to die
A tightrope walker hanging by a thread
A teacup continually chipping

And the audience applauds at such
My measures to see I don’t break too much
These words of crimson color pour
From gaping crevasses

I form each tearing truth to roses
Each biting ache I self compose
Compressed into symphonies of diamond
The wound unhealed, but heard

The piercing dagger now my pen
My mind plunging it, twisting again
To find the joy of my head sorrows
So beautifully broken

Take these bitter parts of me
Sew legs on them so they may leave
No arms so they might never knock on my door

Help me shed them like an autumn tree
Help me find peace and let me be
I don't want to be broken, bitter, anymore

Take the evil in my heart
And throw it back into the dark
Let dying sparks now turn into a flame

Dash away the shades of black
And paint all of my colors back
So I might never find myself half again

Dot my skies with car lights
Zooming in from light years away
Stain the night with moon beams
Put me amidst the cool breeze
Let me sing songs with you

You sing slightly off key
Showing me imperfect perfections
Melody through the trees
The earth is breathing softly
To not impede the smile of you

Nighttime holds me closely
Not as well as I hold you
Putting this moment to mem’ry
Brain silently etching
In this way I won’t let go of you

Things are always fading
Nothing last in the passage of time
So chart the dotted car light
Nothing forever, nothing finite
Only fleeting breath with you

Is this not the greatest gift
Blinking seconds spent in song
Notes in between the moments
What it all represents
An investment worthy of you

I broke before the breaking was ever evident
The weight of undertaking such cracks was prevalent
My hands and legs were shaking yet my mouth stayed oddly shut
Because the words, I found, were inconvenient

I broke before the clay of me had any time to dry
An unfinished tapestry that had already gone awry
And I have no one to blame but me, so I do it every day
And I apologize for the choices that will always be

I broke to show a side of me I’d kept under lock and key
To find I’d lost that key and my escape was breaking
And whether I am a fool is a debate that has come and gone
But I will learn one way or another, later or sooner