You wove magic
with tenderness and love
that you braided in my skin
and made the sunflowers sing
with your laughter alone.
I painted your beauty
into those very sunflowers
that I maintain to this day.
I plucked the brightest one I could find
and keep it on my bedside table.
That way it reminds me of you
from the moment I wake to
the moment I sleep.
I think I'm going to plant some more sunflowers
in hopes that their presence will embrace
my home the way your warmth
embraced my home
so very long ago.

I will not ask you to stay-
you don't owe me anything.
I know you will leave
and there is nothing I can say
to change that.
Our time is coming to an end
and though you will say goodbye,
that doesn't mean my
heart will reciprocate.

It is too easy
to hurt me because I am
human after all

7:33 PM
10/3/20

You were somebody
who had their good heart broken-
somebody like me

12:48 PM
22/12/21

When do these thoughts stop?
When will be the day when
I stop thinking about you?
When will be the day when
I stop asking
"what can I do?"

My heart
may not be broken
anymore,
but it is fortified.
You taught me lessons
the hard way and
I am eternally
grateful and
ungracious.

You keep pouring sorrow
into my glass that is
already full.
You pour
and you pour,
until it overflows,
and then you pour
some more.

The world is awake
so write more because someone
is always listening

7:06 PM
11/5/21

Do you ever
lose so much that
you become all too aware
just how temporary it can all be?
Like the ticking time bomb of love,
with each word inching closer
to detonation.

There are those in life
who make you want to say
'I love you'
and there are those
who make you want to say
'*******'.
I want to be the one
who makes you want to say
both.

When you smile at me,
the sun inside me ignites
and the flowers of
my heart bloom.

How can a woman
be so sweet and so spicy
all at the same time?

11:04 PM
14/4/20

You said that
I do not know you
and you do not know me.
I said I did not believe you,
that this love said otherwise.
Your hands were so familiar in mine-
a puzzle piece to complete
that perfect picture.
How can you call me a stranger
when you used to call me yours?
I still look at you as though
you are all I have ever known,
just like the way you used
to look at me
so very long
ago.

Dear Diary;
I don't want to let go
because I am afraid of
what life would be like
without them.
To be honest,
I don't want to know.
I'd rather spend every day saddened
by your absence than to
forget your name.

Our eyes locked,
our hands linked,
our lips sealed and
I tasted her poison
yet I would do it all
over again.

My soul still searches
for you from time to time.
Sometimes it finds you in the sunflowers
in all its beauty and aura
this world has been
blessed with.

I would rather not.
You have shown your true colours-
The damage is done.

2:28 AM
3/5/20

We are all just wicks
clinging to the light as we burn
through time,
yet no candle
can burn forever.

There is a
cancer of myself
that is waiting to be cut,
bled and beaten out of me
so that a healthier,
stronger me will
heal in its place.

This life
is a bitter cup
of coffee but you
were my little spoon
of sugar.

Distance is the bridge
that separates our two worlds-
A bridge I must cross.

8:51 PM
26/9/24

Yesterday I
stared at the sunflowers
and lost myself in
the thought of you.

Memories always
make me want to go back there-
back there where you are

10:08 PM
6/3/21

Dear Diary;
why do I feel the
need to sabotage myself
whenever something good
happens in my life?
Do I really feel
that undeserving?

I will always
look for you with my eyes
just as I will always
long for you with my heart.

You may be living
without me but you are not
without all my love

3:38 PM
4/5/24

Wouldn't it be nice
if life had a delete button?
Imagine the memories,
the people, the feelings
you could erase with the
push of a button.
That would be nice,
wouldn't it?

The only one who
feels with me is me-
all the joy, the pain,
and everything in between.
Those tears and those smiles
only reach my face and
its my burden to carry.
This is my solitude and it is
all I have ever know.

My heart beats
a little louder when I
hear your name.
It must know how alone
I really am.
Sometimes, I hear the sound
bouncing off the walls.
I swear it sings
your name.

You are art
the way you are
constructed with all
of my favorite things
inside of a
flawless frame.

I have
a hundred things
I wish to say to you
and
a hundred reasons
why I should not
say them.

Stay in my life
with purpose or
leave and take your
dubiety with you.
Life is too short for games,
and half-assed attempts and platitudes.
I want meaning, I want passion,
I want the one.

The joy of a
thousand sunflowers
leaves my heart brimming with joy.
You make me want to
plant a thousand more.
Hand in hand,
let's get lost in the yellow fields
we grew together.

Somewhere down the line
you lost yourself.
Was I to blame?
I'm not sure,
but I did ignore the signs
and that's on me.
Both of us thought you
would never get lost and now
I just want to bring back
who you once were.

We can’t try
to make sense of
the **** the universe or
what other people
throw our way.
Just know that whatever
they throw your way,
it says more about them
than it does
about you.

Spiderman would have
been in awe of your wit,
Just as superman for
the way you never quit.
The hulk would have
been in awe of your might,
just as Thor for the
way you shone so bright.

Are you hoping they will
come back or say they miss you?
Are you hoping they will
wipe away all those tears and scars
they left upon you?
Are you sure you are not wishful thinking?
That they have not thought about you since
and have gone the farthest
they could from you?

When trauma
punches holes in your heart,
we find ourselves seeking reassurance
and validity to plug those holes
so that love cannot
leak so easily.

Where do we go from here?
How do we move,
when there is no more ground
beneath us?
How do we fly
without our wings?
I don't know where
we are going
anymore.

you can let people
leave when you know the ones who
care will always stay.

12:36 PM
6/7/20

You broke the heart
you swore to protect.
Such irony ends with a laugh
as hollow as this hole
in my chest.

None of us are
as big as the ocean,
but each one of us are drops
capable of causing a ripple.

And just like that,
you were gone-
a scent lost to the wind,
a sight lost to the void,
a touch lost to space
and a memory lost to time.

As you walk alone,
make sure to grow
lovely little things along the way.
Grow your pretty pathway,
your graceful garden,
and maybe one day
you will get to share it
with someone just as lovely.

I have always
wondered if angels exist,
and since meeting you,
I no longer have
my doubts.

A photograph of you
brings back a wave of nostalgia
and I am drowning
in memories
once again.

I am worrying
that I am worrying my
worrisome life away

4:51 PM
24/7/24

Life is increasingly
turning into one big "should've"-
perhaps it has always
been one.

Silence comes in
many shades,
for good or for worse.
Sometimes the soul can take
solace in silence and
sometimes it can drown in it.
Other times we cannot tell the difference,
and we are left to decipher our soul
and what shade of silence
it chose today.

I am a storm-
a trail of destruction
that follows me each day.
I am the thunder,
the pain and paranoia
that goes boom in the night.
I am the black clouds-
I am my own black hole
and this anger cannot
escape.