This poem
is a love letter
that's been sealed with hope
and sent with the wish
that all my little words
find their way
to you.

These thoughts become dreams
and then these dreams will become
a reality

3:44 AM
23/8/20

You sprout from
the seeds of my thoughts
into a sunflower I cannot forget,
each petal, a memory I
will nurture with every
drop of nostalgia and every
ray of love.

Your smile puts the sun
to shame - without it the sun
doesn't shine the same

7:28 PM
10/3/20

The skies are
fading
and the leaves are
withering
underneath
my skin.
I've got the
Autumn blues
again.

Wouldn't it be nice
if life had a delete button?
Imagine the memories,
the people, the feelings
you could erase with the
push of a button.
That would be nice,
wouldn't it?

You never know which
'goodbye' or 'I love you' will
be the last you hear

8:46 PM
25/5/25

It's so easy
to create emotions-
what's difficult is holding onto
those emotions.

Life was a kaleidoscope-
made up of the most vivid
colours and emotions and I
remember them like
they were yesterday.
But somewhere along the way,
it was as if a filter had been
placed over everything.
The colours still remain,
but are now lifeless and dull.
This washed out perception took its toll,
and soon these greys began to paint
this soul and all that it experienced.
Everything that made up the kaleidoscope-
the colours, emotions and experiences
now shades of grey-
shadows of their former selves.
It's an empty feeling to exist in
a world so vibrant when
all I see are shades of grey.

You broke the heart
you swore to protect.
Such irony ends with a laugh
as hollow as this hole
in my chest.

Grief is a
strange thing, isn't it?
One day it consumes you,
the next, you are okay.
And then, without warning,
grief strikes again at a reminder
of what once was.
You are not okay,
again.

It's true-
this may be a
sad chapter in my life
but I do believe you
are the happy
ending.

I lied when I said
I was okay without you-
far from it, my dear

6:03 PM
4/3/22

Spending Friday night
staring into the icy
heart of the bottle

6:37 PM
29/8/20

Was I in love
with you or the idea
of you I had in my head,
my heart and my dreams?
Is it possible to be
heartbroken by
an idea?

Deep down,
I think I know that
I am better off alone.
Maybe I’m just saying this
as a coping mechanism
or maybe if I keep repeating it
enough times,
I might actually
believe it.

Though this heart
still remembers our love,
your heart
has forgotten my name.

The universe sings its secrets
over a symphony of stars above.
We answer back with a song of our own-
songs of love and hate,
of hope and memories.
Such soul we put into our songs
and yet they are but whispers
when sung over the
eternal song of the cosmos.

I have
a hundred things
I wish to say to you
and
a hundred reasons
why I should not
say them.

When trauma
punches holes in your heart,
we find ourselves seeking reassurance
and validity to plug those holes
so that love cannot
leak so easily.

Dear diary;
Sometimes I wish
I could stop existing-
no, not to die,
but just to stop feeling-
just to stop being.

How can you
chase a dream that
does not want to
be caught?

Hiding who you
really are from friends,
family or society is not self-care,
it’s self-sabotage.

There are demons
in all of us.
The sooner you can admit that,
the sooner you can get on with your life.

Some memories come
in the form of angels and
some in the form of demons.  
You won’t survive the
mental hell if you let
the demons stay
for too long.

Tourists pass through
day after day and
these ruins start to forget
that they're ruins at all.

You may never
read my words
and that is okay-
as long as I have a way
to get this off my chest.

I don't need to ask
if you still think about me-
I know you do.
I refuse to believe that our memories
held no weight on your soul
nor our love upon your heart.
I don't think I'd believe you
if you told me otherwise.
We can't run nor hide from these feelings
so let's stop wasting our time.
You've got to still feel something,
just as I have after all this time,
I'm sure you still feel it.
I am there,
and you are here,
two hearts that used to be one-
that can never be undone.

Your heart
has been shattered,
but fear not,
let time run its course
and before you know it,
you will find the strength
to pick up the pieces
and find that they reflect
more light than they used to.

Our time was brief-
so brief that you left
without really arriving.
I did not even have the time
to say goodbye to you.
Our time flashed before my eyes,
and just like that,
we were strangers
again.

I got tired of fantasizing,
of giving into the illusions and
drowning myself in nostalgia that
I can no longer attain.
I am tired of chasing a ghost,
but tomorrow I may give
into the haunting
once again.

If I am going
to be a lesson I hope
I was a good one

6:22 PM
15/8/21

It took me far too long
to realize that some people
just. don't. care.
Whether they hurt you,
intentional or not,
they just. don't. care.
And they'll go about their lives
with not an afterthought about you.
It's a cold world out there-
be careful who you let in.

At the end of the
day all I want to do is
make you smile more

11:42 PM
15/5/21

I would rather not.
You have shown your true colours-
The damage is done.

2:28 AM
3/5/20

I didn’t ask
to be made of glass
nor did I wish to be
thrown so far.
I didn't ask to be so frail,
to fall head over heels.
I didn’t know you
wouldn’t catch me but
I thought that glass would survive.

There is a
cancer of myself
that is waiting to be cut,
bled and beaten out of me
so that a healthier,
stronger me will
heal in its place.

Do you miss me
like I miss you?
I do not know if you do,
or if you still think about me
like I think about you.
I do miss you,
who I thought you were
and how you made me feel.
Those things are gone now,
just a memory I will
continue to miss.

We write to cleanse-
to rid these feelings from our system
whether it be the butterflies in our bellies
or the demons that lurk our minds.
There is no lying to the page-
this pen knows us better
than we know ourselves.
It takes an honest soul to
bleed onto the page,
each word a heartbeat
and a trail that follows us
through this life.

Treat your mind as if
it were your garden.
Be careful with who you
make memories with so that
you can plant seeds rather
than pollute what is good.
Indeed, memories are forever
and not the people so make sure
you keep out the locust to keep
your garden a pretty place
to return to.

What I wouldn't give
to get lost in your tangled
hair just one more time

10:52 PM
7/3/21

We should not fear
falling in love,
for it is not love that is the problem.
We are in love with everything from
our friends to our family,
from sunsets to sunflowers.
It's falling so hopelessly in love
with someone where there's a chance
that love will end so fast,
not knowing when or why,
that you wonder what the point of
falling in love was
in the first place.

When your loneliness
fades away, will I still be
your favorite one?

2:12 AM
7/7/21

There was something
quite not right when I
last saw you-
I couldn't put my finger on it
but I could tell you weren't there-
the you I used to know.
Perhaps it were the flames
that had left your eyes or the
magic absent in your smile that
had brought forth this darkness
that shrouds us to this day.
Yes, you sowed the seeds of our demise
on that day and I was too hopeful,
too in love and too naïve
to see the signs.

I sleep alone with
empty arms but that's okay-
it is nothing new

11:20 AM
5/8/21

Sometimes
you just need to
disappear for a moment
to rekindle the spark
so you can burn
another day.

I will not ask you to stay-
you don't owe me anything.
I know you will leave
and there is nothing I can say
to change that.
Our time is coming to an end
and though you will say goodbye,
that doesn't mean my
heart will reciprocate.

Just know that there is
no place I go where you do not follow,
that there are no days that you are forgotten,
that this silence is a loud longing for you
and that the beating in this chest is
the desire to hold you again.
I close my eyes for yet another night
wondering when we will meet again.
But until then, it is in these dreams
where we will have to meet,
where this love remains eternal.

Only a night in Hong Kong
can save me now.
With you, hand in hand,
we can walk the Dragon's Back
and find that perfect lookout.
We can watch the sun set over
a city we never wish to leave-
over the neon lights that never seem to fade.
Your head on my shoulder,
we shield each other from Autumn's chill
and forget about our troubles
at least just for tonight.

You are not
the antagonist
for every story.
Not every story
is about you-
sometimes we have
to learn to see
other people too.