He's the guy next door....
He's a guy like you and me with warts and worries and unfulfilled dreams.
Yet he stands taller than most of us.
He's a fireman....
A fireman is at once the most fortunate and the least fortunate of men.
He's a man who saves lives because he has seen too much death.
He's a gentle man because he has seen the awesome power of violence out of control.
He's responsive to a child's laughter because his arms have held too many small bodies that will never laugh again....
He doesn't preach the brotherhood of man.
He lives it.

People that don't self harm
Don't seem to understand it.
But I don't expect them to.

First, it hurts, A LOT.
It hurts when you first do it
And it hurts the next day.
It hurts when your long sleeves rub against it
And it hurts when you look at what you did.

Next, cuts bleed, A LOT.
At first they don't bleed,
You start cutting deeper,
Then they bleed, a lot.
It doesn't stop bleeding.

Please don't tell me to just stop.
I can't just stop.
It's so addicting.
Even though I want to stop,
I can't.

It starts out as you control it,
But then it ends up controlling you.
You want to wear short sleeves?
Think again, you can't.
You want to go swimming with friends?
Oh yeah, they'll probably think you're crazy.

Every time you do it one more time,
It becomes more and more addicting.
Just one more you think, but no.
This is the last time, but it's not.
You can't just stop.

I don't mean to hurt the people around me.
In that moment, all I can think about is
Hurting myself.
I'm sorry for hurting everyone else
While I'm hurting myself.

when you're born a girl.
But don't feel like one.
When you are forced to go swimming and expose your body.
The one that causes all the pain and dysphoria.
Oh how much it ***** having boys staring at your *****.
When you want to be one of them.

I step through the door
of the place which feels
more like home than my house

My ears fill
with sounds of drumsticks on drums
mallets on marimbas

My eyes fall upon flutes, clarinets
trumpets and tubas

I look up at my family
none of which are related to me
yet they
make
this
place
home.

I'm the girl
Keeping secrets
Bottled up tight
The girl
With parents(dad)
Who yell day and night
The girl
Who's never been
Quite good enough
The girl
Crying inside
But acting all tough
You tell me sweet things
That I've never heard
Suddenly "beautiful"
Is more that just a word

These words will not rhyme
These will be words true to the heart

Late at night I sit crying in the dark,
Wondering if this will last,
Wondering if you will still love me
after I hit my breaking point

I want this to last through high school
I want this to last through college
I want this to last through time

When you go off to college
and I stay here in high school
I hope you stay true and loyal to me
I just hope you never leave

But if you do,
That
Will be my breaking point

But I wonder and hope
that this will last forever

I'm just wondering

I live in a World of Fantasy,
So keep your reality away from me,
I see what I want,
I want what I see,
And that is all okay by me.

I hurt you and I'm so sorry. I knew from the bottom of my heart. I knew that you liked him; but what am I supposed to do. What am I supposed to do when I like him too. I like him so much and I'm not willing  to give him up. He makes me a better me. I got my first kiss and you got heartbreak. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I made you feel like ****. I don't know what to do but I can't give him up. Not this one. All I can say is I'm sorry, but you had your chance.

We say that we are ugly
We say that we are fat
We're not
Learn no matter how you look
You're beautiful
No matter what you are
You are beautiful just the way you are
Stop putting yourself down
You are beautiful
With your scars
Your imperfections
Your everything
You're beautiful