Distance makes the heart grow fonder, these words have always made me ponder, would you love me more with the space in between, if i moved far away where i couldn't be seen.

where i could only see you're smile in the presence of a dream, if so those who bid me wake would return me to my ache.

where I'd reach for you at night wondering why you're out of sight, wishing I could hold you tight and know everythings alright

Ive never read a poem that speaks of two hearts that beat even stronger whenever apart, or seen plays of young lovers who flee from eachother, who adore from afar, and forget who they are.

I can feel you're phantom kisses and hear you're absent heart, i relive the happy moment to sooth time spent apart.

Wastes of space, we the scapegrace, blank expressions, poker face.

You're my ace, ahead in the race, they're second place, a futile chase.

Stakes growing higher like an untamed fire, their inevitable pyre, situations dire.

Those who were bold, i watched their hands fold, those who seemed braver, i watched as they waivered, as they fretted and regretted, i watched their faces fall, like a delicate house of cards, gingerly balanced, standing tall.

But i have nout to fear, for my secret ace is here, hidden up my sleeve, to which i dearly cleave, they all want to believe, as losing's what they fear, but losing's all they'll get, while my secret ace is near.

Beneath this stone there is a heart, it does not beat when we're apart, it does not move, to you I'd prove, my heart remove, its yours to take, but for my sake, to dull this ache, to fill this space that i did make, exchange me yours, there is no clause, there is no test, in me invest, you're heart bequest, our souls coalesce, our love confessed,

                      Forever blessed.

.                  Bite tear and shred,
               This impulse in my head.

            For the pleasure i do destroy,
               Oh how my fingers bled.

Pretty little teeth, like knives in a pearly sheath, their vicious imprint lingers in the wounds upon my fingers.

                     Bite tear and shred,
                This impulse must be fed.

           No pain too feel it's in my head,
       No pain to feel nerve endings dead.

                    No way i can conceal,
                   my flesh that i do peel,

my Blood starts to congeal,
        my skin it slowly heals.
                        
                           Fresh for another day,
                                    to take my mind away.

When restless​ fingers lead lips astray, in this oddly calming, destructive foreplay.

.                        Thin as a rake
                         No food intake
                      Endless heartache
                        I won't partake,
                     More time does slip
                         Life on a drip,
                      Alone in my head
                       Confined to a bed,
                    
                      My time is passing
                    Unwaivering fasting
                       Mother is crying
                       Body atrophying,

         To my family lying,
                                 That all will be ok.

Though this body will not see the sunrise of another day.

Glaring at the sun as the sun glares back, losing sense of time, my minds lost track, words are all that's left as I piece them in my brain.

                     ˙ǝuɐsuᴉ ʎpɐǝɹlɐ ɯ,I
             ssǝupɐɯ sᴉɥʇ ʇɥƃᴉɟ ooʇ ǝʇɐl oʇ

Warmth is what we crave, our hearts fuel to the fire, caressing one another's flesh, taking each other higher, fight my bruising kisses, let me tease you as I mar, that which I do worship, every heartbeat, every scar, cage my hand inside yours, hold me tighter than you dare, constrict around my heart my love, it's open and it's bared.

Between day and night, choose fight or flight, hide out of sight, shield from the light.

Cocooned in our beds, words trapped in our heads, a poets mind is forming, ideas begin their swarming.

Not conforming
              Lines deforming
                        Minds contorting
                                       Rhymes consorting.

What does happen in the night?,
where restless youths beg for a fight,
where women with all dignity lost, will sell you their services at a cost,

where men will pay for their hunger to sate and tell their wives they're coming home late, where knowing wives are sat at home, waiting by the telephone, hoping he has done what's right, but that's not what happens in the night.

The children cower in their beds, the fear of the night sat in their heads, imagining monsters, causing fright, but that's not what happens in the night.

The children do not know, why mothers eyes are red, why father is not home, tucking them into bed, but father is still searching for that which will excite, for this is what happens, in the absence of light.

You cannot break the broken, you can't live in the past, throw that memory away, you cannot let it stay, oh I wish I had the power to change every wasted hour, to knock down this growing tower under which I fearfully cower, in my ball of self regret.

             
                    I can remember:

                Tears that I have shed.

                 Lies that I have said.

                 Pain I have inflicted.

              Oh how I feel conflicted.


But know now this, for it is true, for all the things I can't undo, I'd never regret loving you.

.       What can you do, fight being you?
        Who can I be, if I'm not being me?
      Where can I go if I don't belong home
      Where can i turn when I feel so alone.

I cannot confide, I have too much to hide
I cannot push further what's deep down inside, I protect you from me and the troubles I bring I won't weigh you down I won't let you drown.

I will not let you share the worries that I bear, I will not let you see, the cracked doll that is me.

My insecurities are mine, you try to heal but do not feel the insecurities that I conceal, I store them deep within myself, inside a jar upon a shelf, wear a smile braced like a Sheild, protect yourself, fight not too feel.

But you have broke me, mind and soul, kiss the imperfect make me whole, and in return I'll let you see, her who I so wish to be, I'll let you love what I cannot, for you are what I've always sought, perfection in its place a man, with loving eyes and gentle hands.

Take you're worries with you, carry them on your mind, never confront the past, too scared at what you'll find, add it to the mountain that's growing in you're head, you cannot change the past, what you've done or what you've said.

But I can shape my future, and mould my path anew, for in my future there is hope because now I have you.

Here I lay, trapped in dismay, the waters rising, I've lost my way, you've run from me, I knew you'd flee, I wish you'd seen the good in me.

I know I am broken, the cracks I can see, I should've tried harder to be who you need, that person is gone, a life lost at sea, you know who I am now, you know the true me, you must understand that this love cannot be, for i am the demon and the demon is me.

When will you understand who I am? Will you ever? I hope never, maybe I can hide forever and pretend my mind's together.

When will you see behind my facade, my concealing foundations of which I have laid, the cracks are spreading, I hope you don't see, that I am the demon and the demon is me.

Numbers,names,faces, what makes you, you?, Is it what others view?, Can you change what others see, make them realise that I am me.

Can I hide here with you ?

For I don't know what to do,my fragile soul's in half and my head and heart both choose different paths, let me hide here with you, away from public view, where their eyes can do no damage where my mind remains unravaged.

Smiles are deceitful my eyes tell the truth, what more do you need my face is the proof!

Look closer than that I am but a shell, brimming with Rage, my own personal hell.

believe nothing you see, not even me, for I am the demon and the demon is me.

That eternal sleep is what I seek, I dream for a world and a life less bleak, there's truth in the poetry that I speak, for I dream of a life worth living