There was once a time when I'd be the one to jump to rescues,
But after noone jumped to mine I finally learned my place.

Once upon a time, you called me beautiful
You called me your everything
called me the one.
but now, after all we've been through, what do you call me?
Idiot? *****? ****?

Go on, say it then.
Tell me what's on your mind for I can't see it.
you won't let me see it anymore.
and yet you blame me, but my dear I was handing you back your heart and you slapped it from my hand
Then you say I never loved you
but your wrong.
I did love you, once

I loved you when you were my protector
when all I needed was to speak your name because I was a frail child who didn't know how to run away or disappear completely
  I love you when you were kind
when you stood behind me with your hands on my waist laughing with your friends.

I didn't love you when you yelled at me over frivolous subjects.
I didn't love you when you were so paranoid I would leave you that I couldn't let my phone for for fear of you being angry.

now that we're said and done I can see how you affected me
because I don't journal like normal girls
I journal within my poetry.
and without you by my side I can see what kind of poet I truly am

Im a heartbreak poet.
im a crisis poet
Buut most of all
I'm a happenstance poet.

I take what I see and barely twist it for my creations.
and after all we've been through

After nine years of being there for me and not receiving credit
see why you were my protector.
because if you weren't there to teach me these things
never would have become the poet I am.

Never did I think I'd be the girl for you.
From my odd blonde curls to the wiggle of my nose,
Never did I believe I could be loved so deeply.
And from your beautiful green eyes and deep brown hair
I love you even more when you just stare
At me so deeply I can feel you looking into my soul
I can't keep things from you,
When you look I cant control
My lips from smiling or my heart from singing
My dear I'll love you
Until I take my final breath

When will I see, you
Only ever talk to me
When you are lonely?

Because I cannot stop my hands from shaking
Nor the wobble in my walk
I've come to terms with my mortality.
If not for a recent understanding
Of what keeps my mind on pins.
I cannot wait until I ache
For that stomach punching pit again
Putting me out my misery.
One day soon I hope and I pray
I can look you in the eyes and turn you away
But for whatever reason you remain.
The hopelessness that my eyes portray
Simply weaken every day
Until the day someone says so
And my anxiety just goes away

I cant help but look at the full moon and feel empty.
Maybe someday soon,
I can make myself feel whole again

Why can't I forget you?
I'm doing so well, I have a family of my own
Then why can't I keep you out?
Why is it when I'm driving home from work at 3am,
and I know that he is home waiting for me
And I know that the kids miss me
That I think about the way you kissed me?

If you're still there,
Watching me from afar
You watched as I danced with my devils again.
You saw how I have finally
Let them win

When he touches me, I can feel your hand in mine.
When he kisses me, I can feel the heat of your breath.
When he ***** me, I can feel your hands on my hips.
When he sleeps, I can feel your heart beating.
When he looks at me, I can feel your eyes on my soul.
When he leaves me, I feel like you did all over again.

The raindrops on my windowpane
Were the tears I used to cry for you.

The raindrops on the sidewalk
Fell as violently as our romance did.

The raindrops on your face
Masked the tears falling from your eyes.

The thunderclaps disguised my screams.

The lightning illuminated my way
Out of the darkness you put over me.

Eventually, I'll be able to process what happened to us.
But until that time comes I'll keep crying.
And I'll keep coping.
And I'll keep screaming.
And wishing you never touched me.

Because you were the worst rainstorm I could have imagined.
Why you chose me to destroy, I don't know.
I guess,
Like during Katrina
My walls weren't enough to keep the water away.

And now I'm stuck with the damages.
Because you were the human version of Katrina
And I was New Orleans

She's like broken glass,
Shattered all across the living room rug,
And a smell of whiskey on her edges,
And stained on the floor.
She's in pieces and she can't really explain who's fault it is
Or whose broken her this time.
She'll wait for the next person to try to heal her,
Take the glue to her pieces and place something wrong and she'll lash out.
Her body was made of glass,
You could see right through her.
Every lie was followed by another drink,
Another shot,
Another sip
She'd continue to fill her cup until she overflowed and broke even more
But she'll try to mend her heart and body to no avail.
She'll never let them know who hurt her.
Because she was the one
Who trusted
Too much

Never have I ever been kissed by death.
Time to take a shot
Because my biggest adventure
Is when I flirt with my untimely demise.

Write a line or two, get a decent rhythm.
Write one line that sounds wrong.
Erase one word, replace it with another.
Re-read the whole thing to yourself.
Read it out loud.
Shut up because you sound awful and you're not a spoken word poet no matter how hard you try.
Erase the whole thing.
Try to start over.
Trip on your words.
Lose tract of the topic.
Forget this poem was not supposed to be like the last one.
Erase it again.
Try to come up with a title to inspire yourself.
Fail.
Listen to music while staring at your pen.
Write a ****** poem about not being able to write a poem.
Kinda like it.
Feel inspired.

This has been the official tutorial.

Women are like broken glass.
If you squeeze our necks,
Chances are we either break more
Or sleep with your best friend.

Everything would be easier
If you would walk away from me

But you won't
You'll leave me in limbo

Forever

What do you do when you realize youve made a mistake?
When the one who loved you left you alone and you moved on,
And now hes getting married and you dont know what to do.
You drink and drink and drink until you cant hear your heart beating
You drink till you forget to remember your own **** name.
You dont realize how much he affected you
How weak he made your knees
How beautiful he made you feel

Well he calls her beautiful now.
He calls her baby and love and baby girl
He calls her wife and he calls you stupid
Ignorant
Jealous
"The Ex"
And then you drink some more
What do you do when you lose someone important?

Im sorry i wasnt ready when you were
And i am now and youre no longer here
Youre off in the sunset with her and youre smiling your smiles.
Dancing like a fool and making jokes with friends
And im here
Still drinking
Still thinking
Still wishing
You were mine.

It wasn't until I heard him laugh
That I felt like a normal girl.
And for the first time in maybe my whole life
I found something to stick around forever for

Dying has suddenly become my specialty

I never thought I'd see the day
When words fail me and I walked away
But the clouds have parted and the moss has dried
And I can still remember
*Once, you were mine.

What do you do when you realize it was supposed to be you in that white dress?
What do you do when you realize
You may never again?

She never quite understood why someone would lie to the one they loved
And when he lied to her over and over again
She never trusted anyone's word
In telling her lie after lie
She was never satisfied until he cried for her
Because she convinced herself he lied until he cried.
That's when she found out that he cried because he knew he was lying
And he didn't want to
But he could never help himself
So he did it
Until it broke her heart in two

Once upon a time there was a girl.
She wasn't preppy or outgoing
Rather, she was depressed
She would sit on her room and cry for random periods of time
All just waiting for people to bust through her door to help her smile
But she knows deep down she has to learn
She has to learn to help herself
To let herself smile even when she's sad
She has to learn that she needs to find techniques that help and soothe.
But until then she'll keep looking for new hiding places to cry
And she'll wonder how she can lift herself from the mud
Without help of those around her

When I was young,
I would play with numbers more than the toys in my trunk.
I would talk about science like it was the language if love.
I would play in the dirt as if I knew I belonged there.
When I was young, I had a sense of wonder.

When I got older,
I left the numbers on the pages of my algebra textbook.
I broke up with science and gravitated more towards English and poetry classes
I stopped playing in the dirt and began yerning to live underneath it.
When I got older, I wanted to **** myself.

When I get to where I'm going,
The boys who dismissed me all those years ago will ask for my hand.
My poetry will lay upon the pages of text books.
Maybe I won't want to **** myself.

But that's part of getting older, isn't it?
Moving on from things that made your heart sing?
Is this what it means to be an adult?
I envy younger versions of myself.
They all had this way about them that would draw people to them.
But I guess I lost my charm while I was breaking my own bones.

Maybe one day I'll get to where I want to be.

My edges have always been too sharp

Step away

Before you get cut

Sometimes I can't help but contemplate
If I could break the mold my family had created
And filled with cynicism and passive-agression
Then I see how I had broken it long ago
When I was the first to try and destroy family ties
For the sake of my sanity and they wondered what was wrong with me
That's when I realized
Family can be your own worst enemy

She never was the same
After they took her liquer away

How dare you look at me that way.
Make me take you out of the little box that I hid my feelings for you.
How dare you treat me like you wanted me.
Then turn around and leave me for her

I can't begin to tell you how many times before closing my eyes
That I have asked the darkness
"WHY HAS MY HEART NOT STOPPED BEATING?"
The truth is that I have become a beacon for some, and a mother to most
Though I want nothing more than to slit my own throat

I can't say I want to die
But I can't say I want to live either

As I lay in a room with no windows
I have to contemplate the meanings of my own writings
Why do I throw my emotions here, to live in a heap?
A girl who cried wolf would be better to compete

In a world so lost
I can never be found
I guess my only option left
Is to be put
In the ground.

She could only lay in wonder
How can someone so whole
Love someone so full of holes

Once an angel, forever a demon.

Im more terrified of falling in love with you,
Than i would be if i was jumping off a building.
Im always sick and always tired.
I never have time to be around.
How could you come to stay in love with a nomad like me?

When you told me I didn't love you
I simply thought how would you know
For I remembered the spaces between your fingers
And the crease between your eyes
How dare you tell me
I never thought of you as mine.

Once a glass is broken
It won't hold water the same.
And a heart doesn't hold love the same
Once it's been ripped to shreds.