I’m not giving up,
I’m not giving in.
I put on a stunt,
Just to have Him win.

I may be down,
I may be injured.
Want another round,
Vengeance returned.

Won’t look away,
Won’t look behind.
Never will change,
To be captive by time.

Yes I’m imperfect,
Yes I have flaws.
But it’s never worth it,
To count all our wrongs.

I won’t run,
Refuse to cower.
Anticipating rejection,
Waiting for hours.

Yes there is risk,
Yes there is chance.
But grasp its brim,
Hold its hand.

And you will find,
It all will pay off.
You’ll meet your kind,
You’ll hear your song.

You’ll match your heart,
With another’s own diamond.
Never to break apart,
Only to shine on.

Afraid of staying up too late,
Only half of the bed always awake.
Afraid of pain that haunts me daily,
When I’m full of joy and tired of saying,

“Help me out, hear all my words.”
“Show me your love, show me your worth.”
Afraid of the effects of waiting too long,
Afraid of how I’m ultimately wrong,

When I tell her my feelings,
And realize they’re only nothing.
Afraid of opinions and ultimately running,
Never to experience the lost, feel the shunning.

Afraid of lying to myself,
Never knowing of the wealth,
Following with pure confidence.
Leaving my brain to rot, to be haunted.

Afraid of my empty body lying,
Filling the bed with tears of my crying.
Afraid of looking up and not at her face,
Overflowing with rain, abundant with grace.

Afraid of losing to death,
Replying with no instead of yes.
Afraid of actions, afraid of myself,
Holding the cards that I shouldn’t have dealt.

Afraid of smoke and fire,
Filling my lungs, igniting my wires.
Afraid of depravity attached with debt.
All my love was lost long ago when I bet,

Everything I had and now is forever gone,
Afraid of desolation after completing my song.
Afraid of breaking free after the storm,
Only to realize love is nevermore.

Afraid of the cruelty, afraid of the pain,
Making mistakes but having no gain.
Afraid of gas, afraid of the flame,
Poisoning wrath, scorching rain.

Afraid of destined deception,
Losing sight, losing perception.
Not expecting achievement,
Not searching for perfection.

Sometimes you just want to stay away,
Forget the memories and forget the pain.
Sometimes you wish you never felt,
What once was frozen and now has melt.

Sometimes you wish you were cuter,
Feeling so old and wishing to be newer.
Sometimes you utterly hate yourself,
Wishing you were worth more and full of wealth.

Sometimes you want to lie down and cry,
Never accepting there are others who died,
The same way you did, the same feelings you felt.
Sometimes you wish you could forget it and be held.

Sometimes you want to cut yourself,
Just to know how it feels.
Sometimes you wish you knew hell,
Just to forget and finally heal.

Sometimes you wish you knew blades,
Knew how they felt.
Sometimes you wish you weren’t bait,
Just to get captured and eventually smelt.

Testing testing one two three,
Take me out, take all of me.
Count my numbers with memories,
Never lose what we're always getting.

Testing testing one two three,
Tell me if this is real or just a dream,
Where pain ceases to exist,
Walking life's path and never to trip.

Testing testing one two three,
I've never felt love but with you there seems,
there's all of you and none of me.
Shouldn't be crying, shouldn't try to scream.

Testing testing one two three,
The love for you is only the love for me.
If that's true I don't know how to act,
Knowing happy can't exist without sad.

Testing testing one two three,
Become the fire among the fluent breeze.
Keep untying yourself as you run out of string,
Never forgetting the things it could bring.

Testing testing one two three,
Forget the remarks as you live out your daydream.
They may appear they are on the same team,
But since when has joy come from believing reality?

Getting too cold for walking this way,
Getting too old from playing these games.
Sweat on my hands expose my emotions,
Revealing my secrets, showing my motives.

Ticking bombs going off,
When they laugh and scoff.
They don’t see it, they don’t feel it.
They lock it away until they unseal it.

Being lost in life doesn’t mean,
You have to find your way to be seen.
Pain will eternally follow you,
So don’t let it be the end of you.

Can’t fall asleep, I’m too tired of me.
Wishing for my dreams to become realities.
I know they are far, I know they are distant.
But I can’t just ignore the feelings deep from within.

Wishing I was better, wishing I was stronger,
No one to read letters, no one to honor.
Fallen mistakes only get worse,
Exactly the same, exactly diverse.

They say humans speak so many words,
But I’m only screaming from how much it hurts.
Yeah I talk all the time, with hope, with doubt.
But only if my whispering conscience counts.

Christmas lights,
Crystal snow.
Always so bright,
Always unknown.

Beautiful snow,
Arching mistletoe.
Wishes to blow,
Love can only grow.

Hanging plant,
Meeting place.
No more rants,
Only your face.

Take me in,
Pull me close.
Touch the brim,
Brushing my nose.

Only lasts seconds,
But lasts forever.
We don’t mind,
The chilly weathers.

Smoke of magic,
As you talk smoothly.
Don’t know what happened,
Just felt so soothing.

No flying reindeers,
No crimson sleighs.
Don’t need to see magic,
It lies within us, forever to stay.

Crackling wood,
Endless warmth.
You know I would,
Make you adored.

Nature’s winterhold,
Brisk cold breeze.
When you are cold,
I’ll be the one to freeze.

You need warmth,
I need humility.
Treasure of lore,
Gifts of opportunity.

Taking my breath away,
I can’t even recall the words to say,
Telling you’re perfect,
Endless fate, still worth it.

Life is like snowflakes for not one moment is the same.
For you can never repeat and go back to a day,
Where you enjoyed life and lived it with purpose.
And yet we struggle with it because we think it’s not worth it.

Every moment, every breath will never repeat.
So make the most of each one so that when you look back and see,
Your history and wasted time of your past,
You’ll recall that you have to make every second last.

Moments are snowflakes for not one is the same.
Not one is identical in form, color or shade.
There may be many of them in the wind but they’re still unique.
But they are always there for you when you feel so tired and weak.

The wind surrounds us and tells us we can’t keep drifting,
Causing our confidence to melt down and start shifting.
Not one snowflake is the same for they’re so beautifully complicated.
Each pattern is so intricate as if it stated,

“I am myself and that is okay.”
“For if I never wake up I can still say,
‘You are loved.’”
After all, your patterns were created with the Father’s hands above.