daughters of pageant queens
like them you
             want
          me
       to
   be

i come from a broken gallery
on display for
                           no
                               one
                                      to
                                           see

wanting to be seen,
wanting to be heard.

   all I've ever wondered,
   all I've ever learned.

      is that it's too much to ask for,
      that it's too much to give.

why then do you take from me
in every hour of your need?

bidding my time
& counting the lines

ill be on my way
& you don't care

It
    changes
                   colors
                               but
                           it
                   may
                            as
               well
                        be
           what
         it
      is.

it's a cosmic correction
     to live a little slower-
        be a little closer,
           live where you are,
              take care of your home-
                  and your home's home.

      To look into each others' eyes-
         no need to fake a smile
           can't see it anyway.
              You can't mask the tears
                      or the smize

           what if it's a hyper alteration
                       to change course
                                 ...

There it lays,
my tear soaked
pillow case.

In clouds unseen
where they visit me
every night since thirteen

What am I to do
with no avenue to pursue
when they deny my inhibitions
and tell them they're forgiven?

I see what I can't change and
I can't change what I see

I want to want their vision
of tender, loving, harmony
but it feels like swallowing poison
treating my actions remorsefully.

I take each day
one at a time
unyielding to divulge
what comes to me as I lay
every night
on my tear soaked pillow case.