The day I chose to light that stick up
The day I chose to hold your hand

                 I fell trap to every breath I took from it
My heart fell for you

                 Many people have said its bad for you
The warnings, whispers of unsightly stories

             Some understood, its atrocious addiction
Your charms, your kind precious heart

                                             I inhaled once or twice
                                          more than I should have
A kiss or two, tender gentle skin contact

                        Its scent attracted me more every time
That cologne you use,
that shirt I love that you wear

         The contents harming me pieces by pieces,
                                                           I took no sign
Little tortures, little toleration, little lies

                               I had thoughts if I should quit,
                                      I've said it more than once
Letting go of you could send me sighs of relief

                                            But I always turn back,
                        Took another breath and another...
                                                      ­      Just one more.
Gentle holds and seductive touches, sounds of love spreading

                                  I can't stop

                                                           It's dangerous,
                                                                ­     tempting
                                     and unbelievably addictive
Keep me close

                              I've gotten used to the comfort,
                                 I've embraced every moment
Unbelievable...

  And I know it's going to be hard to move away

You are worse than...
*...nicotine

Love is magical**
For it's the closest thing we have to magic
For it could conquer anything
For it makes people do the craziest
The most unbelievable

It causes sacrificial doings
It drives us insane
We gave everything
And asks for nothing in return

It is unconditional

But now that's all in the past
Because I think I no longer believe
That love really exists.

My eyes are mine...
For me to pick
The ones that are worthy
For them to see

My ears are mine...
For me to sift out
The ones that are music
For them to enjoy the harmony

My words are mine...
For me to choose
The ones that are trustworthy
For them to speak of a heartfelt story

My life is mine...
For me to decide
Everything

My heart is mine...
For me to keep
Whoever I want to have in there
You cannot control it

A breath taken in
Deep and heavy
I breathe in again
To remember it

Hid my face
In your neck
Closing my eyes
To savour it

I fall asleep at night
Cuddled against cold pillows
Reminiscing you
And your scent surrounding me

Arms outstretched
Towards what seemed like
A wall
A barrier of sorts

I leaned in close
Face buried in your shirt
Taking in your scent
While you stayed silent

I put my arms around your waist
But you say nothing
We were that near
But I found it a little hard to breathe

I leaned in close
My ear to your back
Arms still around you
No words under your breath

*Yet...
I hear your heartbeat...
...Racing fast

Written stories
Wonderful mysteries
A world of dreams
And wild fantasies

He came alive
From my words he rose
He said the words
I once thought was lost gold

Maybe**
One day
She will stop writing about you
But till then
You are in all her words

Countless memories of the abyss
My wandering soul within
So much more to look forward to
So much more to uphold

Sacrifices of secret treasures
The tenders of the heart, the living element
Gone into the depths
Lost in   the wild

Factors to losing  a precious being
They lay it in front of you
You have to be ready
Disaster is coming soon

Put the blame on me, let me apologise
Condemn me if you must
For I did not do what I should to keep you
Shut up, it's not up to you

I don't want to be ready
Leave me alone
The abyss will not disturb me, or  temper my soul
I am the hope, that I most certainly know

The wind was still
In my four walls I stayed
Wooden planks surrounding me
As I hummed my own song

The wind was still
And I heard someone humming along with me
I looked down from my treehouse
The boy next door smiled gently

The wind was still**
As our eyes met
He waved from behind the fence
And I waved from up top

The wind was still
Then it started to rain
A lightning struck
But at least
His smile will always remain in my head