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Apr 2019 · 313
Not Anymore
Jay M Apr 2019
Finally letting go,
Finally letting them know,
Finally letting myself grow...

Not quite sure,
Yet going through,
Not knowing what lies on the other side.

Staying out of the world,
But looking in,
Viewing it all through the key-hole,
Enjoying the beauty I see,
Yet aching,
Remembering what I had,
Yearning to regain it,
Yet not feeling it...

- Jay M
April 1st, 2019
Finally stopped being weird around someone.
Mar 2019 · 164
Imperfection
Jay M Mar 2019
Imperfection;
It's all around,
So beautiful,
Yet some seek to destroy it,
To make it it's opposite;
Perfection.

Perfection is praised,
Thought of so highly,
Alas, it doesn't exist.

Not one thing in existence,
Or even in the imagination,
Is or ever can be this illusion;
Perfect.

People try to be perfect;
Try molding themselves after one another,
Or after their own little fantasies,
Yet none of it will ever come to pass,
None of it will ever be as clear as glass,
All of these people; they'll fall to their ***.

One, yet many,
Loud, yet quiet,
Void, yet whole...

- Jay M
March 26th, 2019
All of this from boredom and a single word....
Mar 2019 · 265
Empire Of The Dead
Jay M Mar 2019
Cities, all empty and dark,
Towns long abandoned,
But there is one place,
With a light of silver,
Flowers blooming,
Stone so beautiful...

A graveyard;
The empire of the dead,
Filled with the pale light of the moon,
Beams gentle and forgiving,
Soothing and connecting,
The souls so broken,
The flesh so tormented,
Here they rest.

Telling their tales,
Singing their songs of woe,
Expressing their moments of life,
Possibly their moments of inner death,
Bound forever in the minds...

Dancing, brooding,
To each their own...

Here I walk,
These filled, yet empty streets,
Glancing at these wonders,
These fallen warriors,
So bold, yet not very old...

Beautiful silence,
Beautiful pain,
Lost in all of the mistakes,
Slowly fading from the misery,
Unable to stay,
Yet unable to leave...

- Jay M
March 25th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 100
Paralyzed
Jay M Mar 2019
Motionless in your bed,
Voices echoing in your head,
Memories flowing in and out,
So many regrets,
Too many things I should have gone without...

I'm lost and it kills me,
Inside,
I'm numb inside,
Waves crashing over me,
Somehow I live,
Somehow I need it,
Just to go on;
Those toxic waves,
That artificial happiness,
The feeling of being alive...

- Jay M
March 25th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 122
Hate Me
Jay M Mar 2019
Hate me
My visage and soul
Break me
My heart in pieces
Then save me.

- Jay M
March 25th, 2019
Just dragging on...
Mar 2019 · 91
Empty
Jay M Mar 2019
Screaming, crying, wailing at the top of their lungs,
The demons beg me to listen,
To go into the night,
Drink away the sorrows,
Over-do the meds just a little,
Tip over the edge,
Look down and hopefully fall,
But I want to stay...

Stay, and be in pain.
Be emptier than the most barren place,
Yet go, and be free of it,
Shed the pain,
Don't know where you'll end up...

So badly I wish to go,
Several times I've tried,
Still, I wish to stay...

Maybe...
Hate me...
Break me...
Let me feel something...

Crush me until I am nothing left but mush,
A pathetic puddle,
Reflecting the tears,
The blood,
The sacrifices made to remain...

- Jay M
March 25th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 72
The Fallen
Jay M Mar 2019
Some say there are angels.
But is such a bold claim true?
Can there truly still be some,
So pure,
So full of light,
And hold their head up high?

If there are angels,
There are demons.
Where there is light,
There is always darkness,
Writhing just under the surface,
Or possibly bursting outward,
Too daring and devilish for a mask.

What of the fallen?
Once angels;
Fighting for their way back,
Battling the demons relentlessly,
And falling all around us?

Once, I was such a creature...
A child,
Able to see the dark,
But working past it,
Then one day,
It overwhelmed me,
Tried to consume me,
And in part, it did...

Now, I am one of the fallen,
One of the broken...
I try so hard to help,
Sometimes I do,
But in the end,
All I do is harm...

So many ways I have gone wrong,
So many ways I wish I could rewrite that song,
Yet I've lost the road,
Breaking from the one I was supposed to follow...

Sorry, but I'm not your good girl anymore.
Sorry, but I'm not really happy.
Sorry, but I just can't keep going.
Sorry, but I just can't keep lying.
Sorry for not being good enough.
Sorry, but I'm not your little angel.
I guess I never was meant to be anyway...

It's all been bottled up,
Waiting for the right time,
But I guess I should leave,
Go out the door,
You'll be done with me.

I'll stop tearing your world apart,
I'll stop being the reason you stress,
I'll stop pretending,
I'll stop wasting your time,
I'll stop being a waste of space...

Once an angel,
Not quite a demon,
So here I am,
There I was,
Here I go...

- Jay M
March 24th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 115
Overboard
Jay M Mar 2019
Alone in the grey room
Painted by you so long ago
So it seems...

The demons linger with you.
Test you
Telling you to do it
So in that moment
You break
You listen
You obey these horrors...

One, two, three,
Before you know it
They cover the canvas
Bleeding in pain
Bleeding in beauty
Unseen, feared to be seen,
Yet begging to be.

Looking over, across the room
Pills; happiness in a bottle
One, two, three...

Dizzy, fizzy, wizzy!
Laughing, but nothing is funny
In pain, but you smile
It feels so good
This rush
This temptation to go over the edge
Peering over it
Daring it to poke you
Tipping you over...

In the morning, feeling hungover
But you're not
You didn't drink a drop
Just a little pop...
Pop..
Pop.

A week later, here we go again
Six on Monday
None on Tuesday
Eight on Wednesday
Six again on Thursday
Eight again on Friday
All of this pain,
It's so addicting.

- Jay M
March 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 66
Not Everyone
Jay M Mar 2019
Whispering just through the wall
Some words grasped
Others lost in the space between.
That name, blame, and denial...

Not everyone has a good memory
Not everyone tries to be the perfect student
Not everyone can dance
Not everyone can be happy
Not everyone can be free...

Words cut like glass shards
Digging deeper and deeper into the flesh
Rivers of crimson stream forth
Twisting in this skin; this mesh

- Jay M
March 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 171
Inner Riot
Jay M Mar 2019
"You see those scissors over there?"
One whispers,
"Those were meant for you."
It says teasingly,
"Take them, then take yourself."
It orders...

"Don't listen!"
Shouts another,
"You have a family! Friends!"
It tries to reason,
Them shouting back and forth,
Clashing with words,
Fighting with their own poison,
Battling until they are far too wounded to go on,
Hiding until the right moment,
Then repeating all over again.

"SHUT UP!"
I tried,
But nothing,
For they couldn't hear me,
But everyone else could.

Not really speaking,
But they do,
Not really there,
But it just makes sense,
Almost like a whisper,
Almost like a call,
Almost like I were a mindless corpse....

Thousands join the two,
Turning a simple argument into a heated war,
A once quiet prison yard,
To a full on riot.

None can hear their cries for help;
None but I.
None know just what I mean;
But that's not the point.

Take that pain,
Put it on the page,
Send it away,
See what it does.

I say send some,
Then burn some.

- Jay M
March 22nd, 2019
I'm alright. Just planning to burn my diary in the fireplace tonight.
Mar 2019 · 60
You're Not Alone
Jay M Mar 2019
Here
         we
               go
                    again...

                                ­Drip...
                                          .
             ­                              .
                                          .
                   ­            Drop...

                                          Tears glide down her cheek,

Cascading to the ground,

                                       Thousands crashing around her,

                                                           ­                              Soothing her,

Telling her she's not alone,

                                              But that's all she feels...

                                                      -­ Jay M
                                                   March 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 62
Unknown End
Jay M Mar 2019
Just running
A sure beginning
An unknown end.

Planning to stop,
But trying several times...
Waiting for the right moment to stop,
Which is uncertain in itself;
Is there a right moment?

Possibly,
If I just keep running until I know it's right,
I can time it just so,
None shall know,
Think I've run away,
Or been thrown away,
But no....
I'll have left.
Been gone.
Is there something that I'm counting on?
Chancing, but hesitant,
Willing one moment,
Then backing down again in the next.

Make up my mind,
I know,
I know it all too well,
Indecisive over far more,
How could I be more?
No way,
Precisely.

Here I must address this last part of relevance;
Will I matter in the end?
Will I affect anything at all?
Is there any point in remaining,
When everything is already so wrong?

Yes?
Then give me a reason,
Just one,
The perfect one,
Before I am done,
Or should I just run?

No,
I pause, take a look around;
There is no one else around,
Then in the next moment,
There are thousands,
Millions,
Billions, even,
None even glance at me,
Not for a moment,
So why should I bother to stay?

- Jay M
March 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 679
Cozy Corner
Jay M Mar 2019
Rain patters lightly out the window behind us,
The transparent white curtains,
A dark rug,
Filled with little vines of dark yellows, reds, and greens,
So soft, and so familiar,
Pillows up against the wall by the window,
Pillows off to the right by the wall,
All different;
Save for two.

These two pillows,
The memories they store,
This could be a thing of lore,
Or a thing of bore.

Sequins of ruby on one side,
Sequins of sapphire on the other,
Constantly, some are scattered on the opposite side,
Done by one so mischievous,
Done by one so magnificent,
One whom I hold dear,
Whom I shall never reveal.

We sit there, in this corner,
Under the window,
Rain pattering outside,
Soothing, and familiar,
The scent of them, faint but there,
Soothing and familiar as well.

Sitting so closely,
The light dim,
We smile and simply enjoy the moment,
A moment thought only to be of fantasy,
Yet here we are,
In this moment shared,
So generously spared.

There we were,
Soon there again we shall be,
Not soon, but in time,
Returning to that place again,
Beneath that window,
Those curtains,
The pillows and rug,
The many different,
And the two alike,
Them always messing them up,
Irritating me, yet satisfying me,
Making me thus content.

- Jay M
March 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 51
You
Jay M Mar 2019
You
In times of confusion,
I am divided;
Hopeful, yet hopeless,
A strong sense of sureness,
Yet filled with uncertainty.

In those eyes, so calm and caring,
There is the most gentle soul,
One of knowledge, and compassion,
My love for you is strong,
But my hope of the return dwindles.

When we hug,
My compassion bursts forth,
Forever I wish to hold you,
Alas, I will let go if you want me to.

- Jay M
February 12th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 80
The Rain
Jay M Mar 2019
Standing alone in the rain,
Waiting, waiting,
For you...

Standing alone in the rain,
Can you feel my pain?
The heart ache, the sorrow,
There is more to follow,
Please, let me be your Apollo,
Let me take the pain for you...

I see your new happiness,
Smiling, laughing,
A sense of joy fills you,
Relief washes over me,
then knocks me down,
It was another,
Depression; my parasite.

- Jay M
?/??/????
Mar 2019 · 248
Losing Reality
Jay M Mar 2019
Dancing dreams, painted wings,
Hand-carved mask,
Try not to break the fragile soul beneath,
The once peaceful mind.
Now at war,
Loosing time, reality,
All is untrustworthy to the fullest,
Proven at the final dawn.

- Jay M
March of 2019
Mar 2019 · 86
Empty Room
Jay M Mar 2019
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Let it go and let the voices sing,
To steal my heart again,
I sing myself a quiet lullaby,
Let it go and let the voices sing,
Let the bells ring,
Fill the emptiness...

- Jay M
March of 2019
Mar 2019 · 131
Moments
Jay M Mar 2019
One day,
Through the dragged out hours,
I find a temporary happiness,
Lasting only but a moment,
Just enough to get me by for another night,
Alas, now some joy seems to fade,
Dulled by my weighed mind,
Still, there is hope for me yet,
A fragment of my true self remains,
Kept alive by friends;
The ones who care.

- Jay M
October 24th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 93
The Dead Of Night
Jay M Mar 2019
When the night comes and,
The moonlight hits my face,
I leave behind the ones I love,
Will they ever let me go?
I've been so cold,
And while I grow old,
I can feel it growing too,
Festering beneath the skin,
I think it just might win,
My resistance is wearing thin,
Soon, I feel myself...
Fading away...
Into the dead of night...

- Jay M
October 24th, 2018
This one is a little odd, and I feel that I could have done better. I won't fix it though - this is exactly as I wrote it, and I will leave it as such.
Mar 2019 · 177
Haunting
Jay M Mar 2019
I sing myself a quiet lullaby,
The melody haunting,
I stand wraith-like in the moonlight,
My flesh paler than my ashen soul,
"Just a little while longer..."
Comes my cry,
My hand extended to an unseen figure,
In their own so terrible,
Bringing me to life with a look in the eyes,
So beautiful, reflecting that gentle soul,
"Come back to me, dear one",
I call, but all is silent.

- Jay M
February 21st, 2019
Mar 2019 · 118
For You
Jay M Mar 2019
What would I do,
What could I do,
For you?

Tell me please,
Tell me, tell me now,
How can I be good for you?

Getting pulled in,
Then you casting me out,
Got my voice singing,
Don't know what hit me,
But I'll be alright...

- Jay M
?/??/????
Mar 2019 · 146
Who Is She?
Jay M Mar 2019
No time for regret,
Wake up, you're alive,
Finding who I'm supposed to be,
Struggling to see what I'm supposed to see;
The child in the mirror,
Running from who I'm supposed to be;
Who is she?

Outrunning flat-lines,
Keep the heart beating,
Every breath forced,
March on,
I've had enough,
But I won't give up,
Not yet,
Don't stop,
But questioning still;
Who is she?

- Jay M
January 28th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 93
The Time Is Now
Jay M Mar 2019
My pace once a shuffle,
Footsteps a muffle,
Now a skip,
A leap of faith,
For the time is now,
The time is now.

This is the time,
I don't know where I'm going,
And I don't know why,
But maybe I'll understand it,
Someday soon.

Go with it now,
Can't change the past,
Save me from what I've become,
This time.

- Jay M
January 28th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 296
Trial and Error
Jay M Mar 2019
Fear to joy,
Sorrow to cheer,
How could this happen here,
In my heart,
Once broken,
Now mending,
Pending,
I'll be fine at last,
This won't be buried in the past,
Here we go,
Trial after trial,
Let's see where this one goes.

- Jay M
January 28th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 371
Carry Me Away
Jay M Mar 2019
In sickness I am fearful,
In health I am more so,
When I fall into slumber is my only peace,
Dreams, visions if you will,
Laughter, screams,
Both see me,
Both trying to carry me away,
Lifting me up,
Tearing me apart,
I'm only human,
What more can I do?
Where can I go?
How much will ever be enough?

- Jay M
January 28th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 173
Life..
Jay M Mar 2019
Life;
Some say it is simple,
But in truth,
A spiders web is nothing compared,
Never alone are you,
Each moment is shared,
Spared for memories.

Sung, it be a melody,
Spoken, it be a memory divine,
Come with me,
Tonight we dine,
Celebrate the wonderful,
Enjoy this life given onto us.

- Jay M
January 28th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 78
Human Race
Jay M Mar 2019
Birds fly peacefully overhead,
'How can this be?'
You ask in your head,
'When we have done so,
So much to her?'
The breeze is gentle,
The grass soft below,
Unlike what you drag in tow,
Oh, what a pity,
You go along anyway,
Ripping it up,
Destruction unfolds,
Nothing left to hold,
For you took it all away,
Stripped the land of all it is,
The apocalypse that is this race,
These creatures of horror,
The human race.

- Jay M
January 23rd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 471
Red Trail
Jay M Mar 2019
Red trail, red trail,
Crimson rivers run dry,
Staining the ground,
Bugs and their larva follow,
Scouts out to be the Apollo.

Just another empty shell,
Unlike a glass,
Once filled, it may never be refilled,
Once dead, thou may never return,
To thy corpsed shell.

Snakes shed their skin,
But we cannot shed the past,
Possibly in part, never to bid farewell,
While the demon awaits you in hell.

- Jay M
January 23rd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 147
The Innocent
Jay M Mar 2019
Laughter fills the air,
This night filled with stars,
A rainbow 'round the moon,
Noticed only by me,
A terrible omen indeed.

Tiredness plagues the body and mind,
So young, so naive,
Taken alone, nothing done,
Then sleep, and in such came chaos,
With awakening of the body came awakening of the mind,
Confusion, then understanding,
Dread fills the heart,
Then true chaos follows,
The weak are the used,
The guilty are punished,
But so, too, are the innocent.

- Jay M
January 22nd, 2019
Mar 2019 · 168
Slave of the Subconscious
Jay M Mar 2019
Through times of pain,
One can only do so much,
When it erupts and all is gone,
The heart takes over,
You are nothing but a puppet,
A slave of the subconscious,
Then you do an extreme deed,
Roses bloom,
Heart beats fast,
Rain pattering lightly,
The moment, sweet and unexpected,
Over in an instant,
Excitement fills the air,
Then it tumbles down upon you,
As all good things,
This, too, had a bitter end.

- Jay M
January 15th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 62
Time
Jay M Mar 2019
Time, an endless and un-waiting thing,
Waste it not, for it is merciless,
Use it wisely, and all shall be joyful,
Just never take it for granted,
It can steal it all away and leave you,
Still you can laugh, you can love,
You need only be respectful and move on,
Keep going, don't linger,
Remain in the present, or the past shall consume you.
Heed my warning, for I know it too well,
I fell, but got back on my feet,
I keep going, walking,
Come walk with me,
Live in this moment
Make each one count.

- Jay M
November 8th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 131
Right Now
Jay M Mar 2019
Fracture and tear it out,
Throw away that empty heart,
Leave the lost and dead behind,
Right now,
I'll break, knowing what you said,
Never want to leave it behind,
So right now,
Even if you take my soul,
I'll bare the lonely,
Lonely hours,
Since you left me,
Your presence suffocates me,
Past stings, bells ring,
Bring it all down,
Leave me alone...

- Jay M
November 2nd, 2018
More from last year..
Mar 2019 · 89
Opposites
Jay M Mar 2019
How do you love someone,
Without getting hurt?
How can you feel so much,
Yet nothing at all?
How do love someone
With a broken heart?
I've been asking myself for a while,
Never been so lost,
Hopeless, but not dreamless,
Nightmares and dreams,
Both cloud my mind,
Thoughts rushing like rivers,
Tears, invisible but there...

Drip

Drop

The poison won't stop,
Black as my tainted soul,
Struggling to survive.

- Jay M
November 2nd, 2018
Mar 2019 · 53
Times Such As These
Jay M Mar 2019
How can one laugh,
Within times such as these?
Filled with sorrow,
A tale left for 'morrow,
Indeed, a tale for tomorrow.

Though I may laugh,
Though I may tell you I'm fine,
I'm losing my mind.
I suppose it's already gone,
My heart in boundless pieces,
Whilst my soul fades away,
In the least, the fragment remaining.

- Jay M
October 18th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 160
Join You
Jay M Mar 2019
Those cold dead eyes,
Tell me what they see,
Can you tell me why,
Tell me why I wish to...
Join you!
Join you!

Reach out, to me,
Tell me, what do you see?
Can you tell me what's,
Hiding within you?
It's inside, breaths burning,
Like the fire in your eyes,
Telling of all those lies,
Bringing forth your demise,
A prize for the vengeful.

- Jay M
October 24th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 155
Sides
Jay M Mar 2019
Mere mortals may laugh,
Alas, I am no mere mortal;
For I am strange,
I may act innocent,
But I am a caged beast,
Or at least part of me...

The other part is kind,
A truly gentle creature,
But if you dare underestimate me,
I shall be your undoing.

- Jay M
October 29th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 126
I Know
Jay M Mar 2019
You know, I know,
It's all coming down,
Your fate's in my hands,
It's all over now...

Through times of torment,
Of pain, and of sorrow,
You can only wish for one thing;
An escape.

Another realm awaits,
Beckoning you,
Enticing you so,
In an instant,
Consuming you.

- Jay M
February 25th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 87
The Unknown
Jay M Mar 2019
All of those people,
The ones I call "friends",
Do they call me the same?
Or is it a lie?
All a charade,
Whilst secretly,
Behind my back,
They despise me,
Curse my very name,
Hoping I wish to leave them,
Maybe to perish alone,
Alas, all is left unknown.

- Jay M
October 24th, 2018
Mar 2019 · 231
Don't Even Look
Jay M Mar 2019
Tired eyes, barely open,
Can you see me?
Standing there,
My eyes locked on nowhere,
Unnoticed, not even a glance,
Left to my own misery,
Can you help set me free?

No, you don't even look at me,
No, you don't even know when I'm gone,
You won't ever know,
You won't ever know,
When I fade away...

- Jay M
October 16th, 2018
More of last years stuff
Mar 2019 · 221
Nevermore
Jay M Mar 2019
Nevermore shall you see me,
Nevermore shall you hear me,
None shall,
For I shall be lost,
Gone away from this road,
This path I was given,
Forever falling,
Forever free from this,
This endless torment,
With the name of life.

- Jay M
October 8th, 2018
More of my poetry from last year.
Mar 2019 · 53
Strength
Jay M Mar 2019
Leaves blow in the autumn wind,
A light chill fills the air,
Voices calling,
Haunting, consuming your very soul,
Keeping you to its will,
Bending, breaking,
Hoping to snap you like a little twig,
Surprised at your sudden strength,
Growing until you break free,
Control regained,
The darkness burning beneath.

- Jay M
October 1st, 2018
More of my stuff from last year
Jay M Mar 2019
Far away, long ago,
Times I wish not to remember,
Fading in and out of view,
Like stars, twinkling in the night sky,
There for seemingly forever,
Until you least expect it,
Until they go out,
Never to be seen again,
Soon forgotten,
As the hundreds before them.

- Jay M
October 1st, 2018
Found some of my old stuff.
Mar 2019 · 136
Down With It
Jay M Mar 2019
Down with it.
Down with the lies,
Take down the false pride,
Set to a new stride.

Move on, get on.

Before you go on,
Gone away,
Never to stay,
Not meant to be,
Nor ever seen,
Maybe not by you,
But those who know.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2018
Found some of my old stuff.
Mar 2019 · 66
Person I Once Was
Jay M Mar 2019
Somewhere along the journey,
Memories stir, shifting soundlessly,
All memories have a hidden twist;
It's just not the same.

The person I once was has faded to nothing;
A mere memory.

When I was younger,
I wished every day to be alone.
Every day I was surrounded,
Suffocated by people.

Now I wish to almost never be alone;
Being treated as a ghost some days,
Barely keeping alive,
Getting weaker and weaker,
Yet they see me as a strong person.
That is surely false.

I yearn for sleep,
I yearn for a moment where I can be happy,
No weight keeping me bound to this depression;
This parasite that has consumed me.

- Jay M
March 20th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 150
"I'm Just Tired"
Jay M Mar 2019
"How are you?"

"Are you okay?"

They constantly question.

"I'm fine"

"I'm just tired..."

T     errible
I   nvisible
R  epulsive
E ntangling
D  owncast

F ailure
I diotic
N  aïve
E   rror

Why lie?
Because if I didn't,
All would crumble,
Crashing down upon me,
And all surrounding.

- Jay M
March 20,th 2019
Mar 2019 · 168
Toxic Wave
Jay M Mar 2019
Alone in an empty house,
Alone in your sufferings,
Bathing in your own misery,
Searching for an escape,
But wanting to linger,
What can be done?

Reaching into the space,
Grab a bottle,
Pour a couple drinks,
Something small and quick,
Nothing ever happened...

Giggling, laughing at every word,
Suspicions, yet no accusations,
You try to hide it,
Nothing can mask this.

Get out, switch it up,
Tell a friend,
Go home
Ride the toxic wave.

Morning comes,
Head pounding, on the floor,
Then you realize it.

What have you done now?

- Jay M
March 20th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 124
Artificial Happiness
Jay M Mar 2019
Gripping onto life,
So delicate, yet so strong,
Tempting fate

Small, yet just enough become lethal;
Meant to make it all right,
Fill you with an artificial happiness...

Nothing occurs;
More are thrown into the digestive acids,
You think;
'Maybe I can be happy at last..'
No.

Shaking, drowsy, dizzy, somewhat pained,
Embarrassed by what you have done,
The next day, you wish it to return,
There you go again,
Swallowing those small white spheres;
All to feel something.

- Jay M
March 20th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 83
Unwinding
Jay M Mar 2019
Tethered by those whom I love,
And those whom love me
Yet, I still come undone,
The thread strained,
Awaiting the right moment to snap;
Dropping me into the great unknown.

This twine, once so strong,
Now it's wearing thin,
Where did I go wrong?

They reach out to me,
But their hands go through mine,
Through the ghost I've become...

- Jay M
March 18th, 2019
Mar 2019 · 968
Borderline
Jay M Mar 2019
Lights go out,
Fear fills its place,
Slowly, anxiety creeps in,
Consuming you,
Seeping in through every pore,
Closing every door,
To me, all is no more,
What can be done, for this soul impure?

Sure, I may smile and laugh,
But all you see is the mask;
Underneath I cry,
Below I am cast in sorrow and bewailment,
Never to see anything beyond that threshold;
The line between pain and happiness...

- Jay M
March 18th, 2019
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