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18h · 35
Not An Indoor Cat
Jay M 18h
T'was never meant to be,
Never meant to last,
Mistakes yet again from the past
You sing them like a tune
From a time nearly forgotten
My heart now decayed, rotten

Through closed eyes
I see a dark, distorted paradise
Where perhaps they understand
Where perhaps they accept it
Accept me for who I am
For what I am, alas,
They do not, they cannot
For I am what they shall never understand
What they cannot stand, nor comprehend

Every time they fall in love
With little old me
They cannot help but wish to keep me
An indoor cat, they cannot trust
Jealousy, jealousy, it's never pretty
But I am not meant to be
Trapped indoors all of my life
I wish to roam, to be free
To return and still love my home
Even if it were more than one
One can have more than one home
And love them all the same;
This they can never understand

All well, I should have known
In part, perhaps I did
Merely waiting for the other shoe
To finally drop
Hit the floor
Echo, and echo...

- Jay M
August 12th, 2022
Guess guys just don't understand it when I tell them I'm poly. That's fine, but it hurts.
Jul 29 · 122
Sink or Swim
Jay M Jul 29
Sink or swim
Crash as tidal waves
In the vast, merciless sea
Sink, swim, or float
Effortlessly suspended
Beautifully balanced
Without direction or
Complex meaning
Simply floating
Lost to the waves
Lost to the sea
From whence it came to be.

- Jay M
July 29th, 2022
Jul 19 · 38
Colorless Antigravity
Jay M Jul 19
They wished to break me
To wash away my colors
So I hid them, locked them away
Far away, away, away...

The key, I lost it somewhere
Just out of reach, so now I sit
Lay back, turn up the music
Float in the vast unknown
Into the expanse, detached
Disconnected by this antigravity

When, oh when
Shall I fall unto the ground
And be anchored in my body?
For gone, far away, away, away
Are my colors, hidden from even myself
When they shall return I do not know
Only knowing that they did go
Just out of reach, out of sight
Leaving me with nothing
To hold surely and tight
To save my soul from
This endless night.

- July 19th, 2022
Jay Martinez
Jul 8 · 169
Alone Am I
Jay M Jul 8
Alone am I
Alone are we
Insomniacs, lying awake
Sitting in our beds past midnight
Staring into oblivion, into nothing
Pondering our lives, pondering
Our choices, the world, the universe
Our very existence in this reality

Alone am I
Alone are we
What if I were to disappear?
To be gone from here,
This plain, this place
What if I were to disappear?
What are we, what am I?

Alone am I
Alone are we
Staying up beyond midnight
Unable to sleep, it rejects us
You, reader, and I, writer,
Alone am I
Alone are we

- Jay M
July 8th, 2022
Jay M Jul 1
Seas of mystery
Forests of the unknown
Visions of uncertainty
The veil between reality
And the ill-perceived has grown thin
Thin like a teenagers bubblegum
Thin like a sheet of paper
Thin like delicate mist

What lies beyond,
What comes next,
What happens now?
Came to such a point,
A point of no return,
But where could any
Possibly return to?
Where was the beginning,
Is there even an ending?

Questions, boundless
As the stars shimmering above
Answers left blank, empty
Souls left hollow,
Mere shadows of their former selves
What could be left after the fall?

Glimpse into a single ray
A beam of light through
Dark and stormy clouds
Clouds full of rain, full of dust
Full of accumulated pollutants
All to come crashing down
Towards the broken earth
Eager for a single tainted drop.

- Jay M
June 30th, 2022
What lies beyond this...?
Jun 27 · 65
Blue of Pale Sky
Jay M Jun 27
Blue of pale sky and
Blue of deepest oceans
Glittering, shimmering,
Shine, beam about in your wonder
Entrance, dance, and sing
Go, be free, as was meant to be

Grandest of them all
Crown jewels among them,
Those more plain, while you
You shimmer, you glisten
Blue of sky, do not cry
For you stand above
Truly a star in the sky

Little did they know
Beneath the silk and veil
Lay a festering knot
Twisting, waiting
For all to fall
Fall to stain and ruin

Could have, should have,
Would have, but not done
What became of the time
Cannot be undone,
Only patches for mending,
Costly repairs, much to do,
Damage not only to what is seen
But to what is felt,
Damage done to you

Apologies can only do so much
When all has been said and done
But perhaps in time, lessons learned
All shall not be forgotten,
Perhaps one day forgiven,
Or even not, that is well,
But perhaps, in the days ahead
All shall be better;
Questions asked, memories of stone
Or in the least this night
Shall not leave heart and bone.

- Jay M
June 27th, 2022
I'm so sorry that the night went that way. I would change it all if I could, but all I can do is learn from the mistakes, and do better in the future.
Jun 23 · 209
Tranquility of Old Days
Jay M Jun 23
So too flows the river
Impure, of sunken iron
Floating leaves on smooth
Tranquil surface of
Endless water

Smooth river stones,
Green droplets along tops
Of eager ripples
Surely knowing
In their babbling flowing
Where they shall eventually pool

- Jay M
June 23rd, 2022
Jun 20 · 49
Addicted to You
Jay M Jun 20
It's taking over me
Enticing, it's hypnotic
Sweet summer kisses
Fireflies and gleaming stars
Steady flames, silly little games

Can you feel me now?
Do you feel me now?
Hold me close in the dark
Hearts beating so close
It calls, they call, they beckon
"Come closer, closer now"
Enthralled, I breathe you in
Your scent alluring, I'd swear
It's like my personal drug
And oh, I'm addicted

In my sleep,
You've got me tossing and turning
Conflicted schedules, here and there
Like a tug on my melodic heart
I reckon it only grows fonder
Even if the days are sour and gross
A call from you, and it's all sugar,
Baby you've got me on a high

Sure know how to leave your mark
On my mind all the time
Unlike old hits and misses
Boy you never miss a beat
Memories in picture frames
Never gonna collect dust,
I know it, we'll see
Replay until we rest
Exhausted, side by side
Let's just be.

- Jay M
June 20th, 2022
Music and musings.
Jun 8 · 46
I Close My Eyes
Jay M Jun 8
Haunting, echoing
With every time that I
Close my searching eyes
It's colorful as fireworks
Some darkness, but beautiful
Something wild and wonderful

Every time I close my eyes
It's a calm curiosity
Cold hardwood floors
Warm embraces and
Familiar faces

Every time I close my eyes
It's a grand vastness,
A strange madness
Floating in the expanse
Drifting in the space between

Every time I close my eyes
I am neither here, nor there
Neither then, nor now
Perhaps now and then
When they open, I see
A beam, a ray of light
Guiding me from the endless
Endless nightmare of reality
Leading me away, far away
To where I do not know

Every time I close my eyes
I hope, wish, dream
To open them and be
Gone, gone away from here
In a place where perhaps,
Just maybe, I may belong

Every time I close my eyes
I am, for but a moment,
Gone, lost, disconnected
I have escaped, disappeared
Gone away, vanished
To a place unknown,
To lands uncharted
Besides by the poor
Lone cartographer
Exploring my mind
Ever so curious
As to just what
They may

- Jay M
June 7th, 2022
Jun 6 · 51
Let It Be
Jay M Jun 6
Unbeknownst to you
How little you are aware
Of a brave little soul
One that does dare
Live in each day
Sometimes as if it were
Their very last
Other times
They forget, and drone
But still, sometimes,
As they sit and think
They imagine it were
Their final day,
A final dawn just for them
The sunset, never more beautiful
Birdsong, never more sweet
A meal, never more difficult to decide
All things of the past, simply...
Are just that, and the future
Is a mere blur, something
That cannot be attained
So there is an acceptance
A quiet "knowing"
Deeper breaths, longer hugs
Those are far warmer
Than the closing cold
That shall surely come
One day, one day
But that is not this day,
No, it is not today,
But if such were true,
Then let it be,
Let it simply be.

- Jay M
June 6th, 2022
May 23 · 55
Behind Closed Doors
Jay M May 23
What lies behind them,
Your eyes of soft red?
What little memories,
Grand secrets do you dread?
What lies beneath the lies,
The ever tangled web?
Is it all fragile,
Waiting for the
Shards of broken glass
To be picked up,
Only hoping not to draw blood?

What lies beyond them,
The gateways to your soul?
Tortured, tormented are you,
Terrorized and entangled
By an inescapable spider,
Fear a faulty motivator

What lies behind them,
Behind your walls,
Behind closed doors?

- Jay M
May 20th, 2022
May 23 · 348
Child of Night
Jay M May 23
Child of light, child of night
Graceful and kind
Tender and mild
But do not anger them
No, don’t you dare
For their fury, their wrath
Is mighty as a forest fire
Wild as the wind

Hear the call, echoing out
Call of the night
Follow into the dark
Embrace the shadows
To bask in moonlight
Dance beneath the stars

Flow in the midnight breeze
Deepest blues, dampened hues
Curving shapes, shift in time
Around they surely go
In truth, or in mind.

- Jay M
May 19th, 2022
How did this become a prophecy of dreams?
May 17 · 50
Tears of Truth
Jay M May 17
If you wish
For the truth
Without a filter,
Without a coat of sugar
Straight to the bitter core
Ask, and you shall know
You shall finally see
All that which is
That lies here

- Jay M
May 17th, 2022
As it falls, so too it recalls...
May 11 · 44
Wooden Door
Jay M May 11
Wooden door, wooden door
I shall enter you evermore
With my feet or with my mind
Your locks are never hard to find
Opened by many keys, over many years
Mine of gleaming crimson red

Past the threshold
And into the depths of my despair
Washing over like a poor wave
Slowly yet ever so surely
Knowing this is the sacred lair
Since I was but a young child
Seven years in this house
Break a mirror, and of course
The misfortune would be gone
Gone after seven years

But is it so,
That the misfortune had anywhere
Anywhere else to go than here?
As I pace these bleak halls
Of blank white and dust
Floor creaking upon uncertain steps
Sounds surely to fall upon
Overly critical ears
Wooden door, wooden door,
I shall pass through you evermore
Many times you’ve been slammed
Other times sheltering the world
From wars of words and hatred
Fear and violence echo here
Echo in the still of the night
In the near silence of their slumber
But I do not sleep, no I don’t dare
I lay awake, night after night
Dreamer am I, shall I always be
Grant me freedom, wooden door
Grant it to me in due time,
Oh wooden door.

- Jay M
May 10th, 2022
Theme piece for a creative writing publication. Theme: Welcome home. I decided to approach it from the perspective of a person that suffered trauma in their house.
May 10 · 129
Jay M May 10
Our love was like a rose
It blossomed over time
A beautiful yellow bloom
We took tender care of it
Watered it, checked the soil
Even pruned it when we
Knew it really needed it
But we kept getting cut
On the ever-sharp thorns
Hurting ourselves over and over again
Because our love was greater
Than the ****** scars

But like a rose
I discovered that it had wilted
You tried so hard to care for it
But you didn’t know how
Sometimes it was overwatered
Other times it was left bone dry
When it shook in the wind and cried
You didn’t know what to do
And frankly, neither did I

Day after day,
I cared for it tenderly
Watered it, checked the soil
And even did all of the pruning
Maybe it was far too much
Because you no longer knew how
But you tried anyway, I know
Still, it eventually wilted
And you didn’t even know

It wilted
It dried and became a shell
The thorns protecting what was left
So I gathered the petals with care
Some withered and I cried
But carefully still, I gathered them
The petals of the wilted rose
And put them in a jar of glass
Your name written on the inside
Of its blank white lid
So only I would know
Wilted, our love is wilted
Dried petals in a jar of glass
On a shelf collecting dust
But the memories live on,
Of course they still do
How could they not?
After all, you were
My first true love
My yellow rose.

- Jay M
May 10th, 2022
May 9 · 67
7th of May
Jay M May 9
On the 7th of May
Seventeen years ago
A child was born
It was sworn
That the child would live
Grow well, and do well
But, alas,
Seventeen years
After the birth of the child
She can be found
With but a faint, dim light
Behind once bright,
And promising eyes...
What became of her?
How did she, this teenager now,
Become so tired, so worn,
On the 7th of May,
When she was supposed to celebrate the day she was born?
It is known, surely so,
But still they scratch their heads,
Still they wonder why, oh why,
She lays awake late into the night
Tears in her dull eyes.

- Jay M
May 9th, 2022
My birthday gift was more depression. Yay.
May 9 · 125
Dance With Death
Jay M May 9
I'm in love with death
Its warm embrace
Carry my soul away
Leave behind a cold
Lifeless trace
As tears flow
Down my face
Please, my dear,
Dance with me
In this night
Take me away
From this empty
Desolate place
Let me dance
Dance with death

- Jay M
May 6th, 2022
Apr 29 · 226
Foolish Kids
Jay M Apr 29
Long ago,
Childish conflicts
Words like foolish
Briefly stinging slaps
To overly confused hands
Confrontation came,
Of course it did
For once, long ago
We were foolish kids

Strangers ever since
I know of you,
You know of me
That is all
That the years have been
Perhaps that is all
That shall ever be

Yours is an odd memory
That sometimes crosses
Into the field of my mind
For it was always puzzling
Even now, as we sit
In a room to learn
You sit in the back,
Not to observe and attack,
Like when you were a child,
No, just to sit, just sit
Perhaps still with a spirit
Playful, but mature
You’re upbeat, but know better
I hope the years have done you well

Occasionally, I’ll catch
Just a glimpse,
A little glance
Why, complex one,
Do you glance my way?
Do you remember
The days long ago
When we were kids?
Or do you wonder
Just as I do
What time has changed?

Still, I see you there
You puzzle me,
Person I once knew
You puzzle me,
You always do.

- Jay M
April 29th, 2022
This guy used to pick on me when we were kids. We kinda made amends, and we're chill now. Have been for a while, and we've been in the same testing room all week. Odd, how he keeps looking at me.
Apr 28 · 111
Forget Me Not
Jay M Apr 28
Would any care
For a lost soul
A shattered heart
A scattered mind?
Would any dare?

Broken heart, fractured mind
What more is there to seek
What more is there to find
In this dark, desolate place?
What more can be seen
Within a worn visage,
Upon a weary face?

Eyes dim and dull
Framed carefully
Within a weighted skull

From its pale
Smooth surface
Cracked throughout the crown
Creep a peculiar flower
The sorts blossoms slowly
Bringing into full bloom
Petals of the soft hue
Forget Me Not
In its pale shade of blue

- Jay M
April 28th, 2022
Apr 26 · 54
What's This?
Jay M Apr 26
Is this it,
Could it be?
Could it be?
What is this
Bubbling, laughing
Giddy as can be?
Oh dear, what's this?

A friend,
A friend!
What a funny thing,
My friend!
Oh wait,
What's this?

Kind, so kind!
Oh the words to find
They're reeling in my head
And oh my,
What's this?

Smiles everywhere
Reassurance gentle and fair
Soft, poofy hair,
Crows flying in the air,
Come join the fun!
What's this?

- Jay M
April 26th, 2022
Felt playful.
Apr 26 · 247
Her Memory
Jay M Apr 26
He held her
She held him
Now he only
Holds her memory

- Jay M
April 26th, 2022
Apr 25 · 80
Lady Green
Jay M Apr 25
Lady green
Full of life
Nature of nurture
Giving to her creation
Flourish, embrace her touch
Flow with her in the wind
Be free as a leaf in the wind
Feel her love in every breath
In every step you eagerly take
Know it is her who gives you
The ground you walk upon
The water you drink
Take her in, every day
Not for granted, but with grace
Before she and I are gone
Earth and the human race.

- Jay M
April 22nd, 2022
Earth day shenanagins.
Apr 21 · 280
Pale Luna
Jay M Apr 21
Howling to an unseen moon
Pale luna,
Shine upon me your light
Beam upon my eyes
But a ray of moonlight
Dance across reflections
On the dark waters edge
Dance in your light
Oh pale luna

Enchant me, enthrall me
With your mysterious allure
Your gaze, your wonder
My most dazzling, brilliant muse
Shine upon me your grace
Your nature illusive
Just escaping my grasp
Brushing delicately past my fingertips
Pale luna
Oh pale luna

Bless me with your wisdom
Bestow upon me your gentle touch
But a simple gesture
Would grant me a great
Vast embrace of the heart
Without hands, yet ever
So tender and warm
Against the cold, dark night.

- Jay M
April 21st, 2022
Apr 20 · 58
Love, or Pain?
Jay M Apr 20
Seated beside a dim lit window,
Rain patters steadily
As a young woman pondered
Thoughts so curious as
The rain fell to her window

"Would you rather,"
The young woman began to ask,
To wonder aloud,
"feel only pain, or only feel love?"

"You cannot feel love
Without pain,"
Replied a voice,
Soft yet worn,
Scarcely above a whisper,
"so it is an impossible question to answer."

The woman simply raised her eyebrows
A fine response indeed,
"I suppose so."
She ponders for a moment,
"But," she asks,
"must there always be pain with love?"
Before a response can be given,
An added thought escapes her lips,
"And can there be love in pain?"

A pause, a moment to contemplate,
Then, once assured, a response;
"There mustn't always be pain in love,
Nor must there always be love in pain."
Another pause, a sigh,
"But, whenever I was in love,
I always wound up in pain of sorts.
It is rather difficult to place into words,
harder to explain than
One would have someone believe."
The voice elaborated,
Remaining ever unseen
Perhaps a voice of the mind,
Nevermore for her to find.

- Jay M
April 20th, 2022
Based around the question, "Would you rather feel only pain, or only feel love?"
Apr 20 · 47
Gates of Catastrophe
Jay M Apr 20
How she cries, cries, cries
Hurt from the thoughts
Ricocheting in her weary mind
Battling the horrible, stabbing lies
Possibilities consume, catastrophize
Falling, crashing, raining thoughts
Loud like an echo chamber
Flooded by ocean waves
Leaking faucet, open the hatch
Floodgates are open,
Floodgates are open wide

Oh dear, doesn't wanna be a burden
Hides her feelings, her inner storm
Her stomach growls, ******* in knots
Empty it begs, knowing nothing to follow
Guilt can be a giver, but never to self
This she can always remember

How to escape the hurricane
She desperately searches
Free from the horrid torrent

- Jay M
March 24th, 2022
Once again, forgotten in drafts.
Apr 6 · 54
Time Shall Tell
Jay M Apr 6
Climbing through
Hoops, over hurdles
Putting thoughts into words
Words to the page
To the every chapter
Not to be read, to be seen
For years to come
What ever shall it become?
What ever shall it become?

A story to be told
Of deepest lamented pain
To triumphant glory
What more shall it be,
Memento mori?

What shall it be?
The stillness of words
The stiffness of letters
Yet the carriers of voice
Of sound beyond ears

What shall it be,
In a time soon to see?
Yet distant as a yearning shore
Calling the lost home
To meet their rest
What more shall time tell?
Time tells all things
Not quite yet
But eventually, all things shall rise
All things shall be known
Brought to shine
In the light of an early dawn.

- Jay M
April 5th, 2022
Mar 15 · 49
Dance With Me
Jay M Mar 15
Dance with me
To the call of the moon
To the beckon of the wind
To the sway of the breeze
To the beat of our hearts

Dance with me
To the flow of river streams
To the falling of the rain
To the tumbling of leaves
To the shuddering of tree branches
To the whims of the mind

Dance with me
Together we shall see
All that which surrounds
May influence humanity
The cacophony of sounds
Trace along the lines of the mad
And strangeness of sanity
The marriage of realities
The conjunction of thoughts
Blended to unfathomable perfection

A balance more delicate than petals
Of a dried, wilted flower
Yet still full of life
Full of pigment

When it lives,
None then lament
For even if its destination is clear
A fate set in stone
It is never expected
Until the final breath
Is wearily drawn.

- Jay M
March 15th, 2022
Listen, and you too shall know as I do.
Mar 15 · 59
Rubble of Reality
Jay M Mar 15
Times turn like the waves
A certain shine of light
Ray on churning waters
Waters of brown and foamy white
Long polluted, sky of grey
Clouds dark, sure to mark
The coming of acid rains

Glass beach, its sands still turning
Still weathering, slowly becoming grains
To sift through fractured fingers
Miniscule cuts, scabs, and scars
Some fragments remain, to be plucked
By trembling appendages
Looked upon by
Sockets of long faded visions
Once so bright, not shy of a spark
Only to be overcome, shrouded by the dark

Skin and bone
Shadow and stone
To stumble about
Hollow husk
Pillar of flesh
Worn, long ago beaten and torn
Canyons and marks
Of days long ago
Gone to some
Whilst the lingering
It is ever present
Every waking dawn
They once again live

A time past the grand game
A time past “theirs” and “ours”
All that now remains
The tattered, the rubble
City rats searching for scraps
Become what they must
Far more than simple pawns
Once a tide of surging force
Now mere observers
Of the ruins of reality.

- Jay M
March 15th, 2022
What are we to become, in a time after the dust has settled?
Mar 14 · 262
Greatest Curiosities
Jay M Mar 14
When shall we come
To realize that we
Are the masters
Of our own lives?

When will we come to see
All that truly lies before us
The potential at every whim
To learn and to greatly grow
To step forth, to boldly know
Where our greatest curiosities
May turn to lead us?

Grasp the eager thread
Follow it as it winds
As it bends and turns
Follow it all the way down
Down the rabbit hole.

- Jay M
March 14th, 2022
Follow a thought, and see where it may lead you. It was not curiosity that killed the cat, but rather a lack of caution.
Jay M Mar 10
As a moth to a flame
So to the call she came
A walk entranced
Each step her hips sway
Almost as though she danced
Through the ever-present mist
Gone is the light of day
Only the shine of the moon
As her hands reach forth
Twist to grasp for warmth
Toll of the lunar noon
Cross into the time
Of the approaching dawn.

- Jay M
March 10th, 2022
Sometimes, we are but moths to unseen flames; seek them out, and you shall find the most peculiar things.
Mar 3 · 151
Affirming In Self
Jay M Mar 3
I am
A being of peace
A being of comfort
A being of radiant love
A being of harmony
A being of balance

I am
A being of knowledge
I learn from my darkness
To grow in my inner light
I learn from the darkness
To nurture the light

I see my path
I know my path
All that I need, I attract
All that I shall know
Shall help my soul to grow

I am a being of healing
I radiate comfort and peace
I guide with an innate knowing
I am a being of great wisdom
I share in the lessons of life
I am a being of patience
All things come in time
To arrive as I need
To my call it heed
Aid me everso
On my path
As I grow

- Jay M
March 3rd, 2022
Affirm in your worth, affirm in what you are. Affirm in what you seek, affirm in what you know to be your truth.
Feb 17 · 149
Morning Lows
Jay M Feb 17
Follow in every night
Into the bleeding dawn
Filtering through
Dark curtains
To greet sleepless eyes
Gaze glossed over
Couldn’t get much lower
Than the echoing cries
Of hidden burdens
On countless pages she drew
Her secrets to burn
In small private fires
Freedom from darker desires

- Jay M
February 17th, 2022
Feb 14 · 78
Amorous Affections
Jay M Feb 14
Silky red
Fabric flowing
Gracefully in the breeze
Flirts whispered and said
Hearts melting, hearts growing
Confidence flared, a day of ease

Earrings dangle
Necklaces gentle thump
Some words, they strangle
Whilst in others, hearts pump
Wildly like jackrabbits
Pretty little words and habits

High tapping heels
Arrows to the heart,
Right in the feels
Only a small part
Of what may be
That of which
All shall wait
And eagerly
Wait and

Empty arms
Wait for the hour
To hold within them
The beam of desire
To then shower
In deepest love
Amorous affection

- Jay M
February 14th, 2022
Happy Valentine's day.
Jay M Feb 3
Ad puerum...
Estis pulcherrimus angelus
Estis un ambulans somnium
Et salva me
Carpe diem, carpe noctum
Bellātor angelicus,
Carpe vitam.

(English translation)

For the boy...
You are the most beautiful angel
You are a walking dream
You help me
Seize the day, seize the night
Angelic warrior,
Seize the life.

- Jay M
February 3rd, 2022
Felt like writing in Latin. I think I did okay?
Feb 3 · 254
Willow Tree
Jay M Feb 3
Enter the shade of the weary willow
Hidden by her hanging locks
Of thick, leafy green
Sheltered from all

Rest 'neath her branches
Her arms open wide
Calling to stay
Rest here
For this

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022
Playing with ideas.
Feb 1 · 267
Rosemary Blossoms
Jay M Feb 1
Ocean blue
Reflect onto me
Shimmering lights
Dancing in their glow
As deep waters flow
Push and pull across
Wave from coast to
Most eager coast

Rosemary blossoms
Beautifully soft, near pastel
Endless inviting tranquility
Calm waters wash over me
As I gaze into their depths
Cool waves over river stones
Gaze calmly returned
Something familiar
Though only once
Were they ever met

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022
Their eyes remind me of rosemary blossoms.
Feb 1 · 142
Gradually Fallen
Jay M Feb 1
Wandering across
The unsure grounds
Dark as I roam the expanse
Only to float without care
Without fear or certainty
Only to fall, wind whistling
Past deafened ears, searching
For words to sing a broken melody
Sinking into an unknown depths
Dimmer and dimmer still it goes
As I fall into the perpetual abyss
Spiraling farther and farther
Down the rabbit hole

Wings of muted grey
Once carried me higher
Now the wind seems to say,
They carry me no more
As I wander door to door
Within the maze of corridors
In the labyrinth that is my mind
Fade deep, fade to onyx black
Protect my soul, fractured heart
What fragments may remain
Scattered across the ground
Found in hallowed crater
After the fall of last
Ashes to ashes and
Dust to mere dust
Perhaps again be
Something more
A queer thought
To then explore
For in this time
And evermore

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022
What it feels like to spiral down into the depths of depression.
Jan 31 · 206
Chair for Two
Jay M Jan 31
Laughter and banter
A room full of cheer
Couch full of people
Chair supposedly for one
Until another would come near
Squished into the soft chair cushions
Adjust ever so to make room
Now a chair for two

A movie playing
All too familiar, and so
Calm and content
Embraced in warmth
Comfort surrounds
A frigid little soul
Drawn ever closer
To a source of peace

Sleeping soundly
Against one so kind
Resting in such a place
There is somehow peace of mind

Half awake, sounds come in
Fall mumbling upon small ears
Quietly, he speaks but odd whispers
They ask, but he knows not why
Only that she is as a cat is,
When one rests upon you
No longer shall you move
Remain here, in peace

- Jay M
January 31st, 2022
Fell asleep on a friend.
Jan 18 · 179
For Grandma
Jay M Jan 18
Times of
Tension and anger
Voices raised, and
Fingers pointed, words thrown
Then so stubborn, all well known
Eventually, come to regret

Gripped tightly,
Battling the cold
The icy chill that surrounds
Fighting through confusion
How could any of this be real?

Years ago, times filled with laughter
Playing dominoes on the kitchen table
Watching cartoons in the living room
Telling stories after lunch of days gone
Only to look back, how bittersweet
Holding every memory as you go

Those good, and those bad
Our last real conversation
A battle of heated words
All true, but even so
I cannot let go
Of a guilty end

So, in your final hours
I call across the space
Across the miles between
To say my final words to you
To apologize, to make amends,
To bring up happy memories
The little things really count
Becoming all that's truly
Truly left at all here
In this ever cold,
Empty place

- Jay M
January 17th, 2022
Words from then to now, for you. Today is your last day on this beautiful Earth, your last night with your family. Our last conversation was horrible, and I cut you out of my life...but I was guilty. I called my dad, and he put me on speaker so you could hear me. My last apology to you, my last words to you. Even though you were unconscious, I still wanted to make amends. I brought up happy memories from my childhood, and promised I'd keep that bracelet you gave me, and carry it with me. It's on my bag, where it will stay, and travel with me wherever I go. I can carry a reminder of you with me, always. I'll see if I can read this at your liked my poetry.
Jan 10 · 281
Her Sides
Jay M Jan 10
Full moon she rises
Three nights then fades
Three nights of power

Three sides has she
The one whom dance
Wide awake, deep in trance

Another side of her
The one whom shimmer and shine
Iridescent in her light, song divine

The final side
The one whom call into the night
Horns and breath of fire, in wait of a fight

The sides, they surely wane
Fading from one into the other
Phasing in and out like the sides
Of the pale lit moon

- Jay M
January 10th
Everyone has their sides, some light and others as dark as the dark side of the moon.
Dec 2021 · 211
Happy Little Daydream
Jay M Dec 2021
Got me in a spin, a lovely spin, happy little daydream
Running circles around what might just be a ghost
But it's everything and more
But my heart does implore;
"Why can't there be more?"

- Jay M
December 28th, 2021
He's got my head in a happy little spin.
Dec 2021 · 41
Desires of Autumn Fire
Jay M Dec 2021
From darkest night to the break of dawn
From dawn's early light to shining day
From within, gates drew open
Leading to the strangest ocean
That of which may be known as emotion

Sail the seas, face the tide
Come along for quite the wild ride
From hurricane to tranquil and clear
Hidden away when most come near

‘Neath the sycamore tree
Inviting grass, playful breeze
In the moment, ever so free
Not a thing to stress
No reason to impress
Only peace and comfort
Nothing more beneath the sycamore

Dance of the wind
Touch of the earth
Breath untamed and wild
Hands gliding, fluttering
Like butterflies in spring
Caressing wing and wing

Away, gone is the day
Conversations come and past
Each one as close as the last
Though perhaps small from outward view
Each moment greeted and bid adieu
Was peaceful, with smiles bright as candle light

With each embrace a heart whispers
Calling out with each beat
Hear me, oh love, hear the sound
Of passion and desire
Burning like autumn fire

- Jay M
November 29th, 2021
Could've sworn I posted this one. Oh well
Dec 2021 · 145
Dearest S----
Jay M Dec 2021
Dearest S----, you hold my heart steadfast. It is as though thou hath cast thy spell here; within this blaze that is mine humble soul. Thine embrace is a comfort eternal; yours a shelter for my quivering self. Sing, darling dream, thy song, thine melody; 'tis the sweetest nectar upon mine ears.

- Jay M
December 27th, 2021
How love makes a poets heart sing.
Jay M Dec 2021
Sweeter than dripping honey
Sweeter than a bakers sugar
Heart warmer than
A deep winter fire
Equally as inviting,
Even more comforting

Tender heart of delicate gold
Too scared to leap into the bold
Light of ever-bright day
Compliment every little thing
Those soft, smooth lips say,
"It's only the truth"

Delicate is the touch
Of October's wonder
Gently held moments
Embraces of longing
Desires whispered quietly
To winter fires

How buttons are easily pressed
And strings carefully pulled
Play it like a hidden melody
Only to stop before the song is done
The remainder left unsung

- Jay M
December 19th, 2021
Dec 2021 · 70
Gravity Falls
Jay M Dec 2021
Endless sky above
Many trees of pine
Roots deep into the underground
Shooting up to the divine

Water falls in search of ground
Or whatever may then be found
To rise one day like the dead
Falling around cursed stone
Fear the teeth of deer
Mouth hallow of shallow bone

Rise from the rubble
Find that which you have lost
Your strength is in your weakness
Burst the risen bubble
Flood into the light
Together, reunite, and fight
That which calls imprisonment "freedom".

- Jay M
December 10th, 2021
A poem for my favorite cartoon, Gravity Falls. Forever you shall hold a place in my heart.
Dec 2021 · 480
Companionship, Or Solitude?
Jay M Dec 2021
Companionship, or solitude?
To be together, or alone?
To have and to hold
The company of others
Share in their warm embrace,
Or to have and to hold
None but yourself,
Keep the lone flame burning
Hoping to stay warm?

While, in times,
Solitude may be needed,
It should not be forever
Throughout the seasons, throughout the weather
Do not leave me in solitude forever,
Growing in yearning for your company,
To have and to hold,

- Jay M
December 9th, 2021
Dec 2021 · 311
Playful Moments
Jay M Dec 2021
Playful moments shared
Gazes beyond compare
Longing, yet knowing
Dancing with the flames
Fanned ever higher
Consumed by loves desire

Laughs and tender smiles
Yet his heart is away by miles
How easily he make me forget
And with every day I regret
Not asking the weighed question, yet
It is all for the best
Even so, my heart does protest.

- Jay M
December 7th, 2021
Dec 2021 · 583
Seasons In You
Jay M Dec 2021
Playful as autumn breeze
Smile bright as a spring morning
Warm and inviting as a winter fire
Appearance as that of a summer romance

- Jay M
December 6th, 2021
Dec 2021 · 187
Sunset Dream
Jay M Dec 2021
Such a dawn
A wonder to behold
Not too warm, nor too cold
Truly a beautiful balance
In a tranquil moment

May it last ever longer
Yet, it must then go
Down into the sea
Eternally, from it the sun shall set
And it shall once again rise
Rise into the marvel of a new day.

- Jay M
December 3rd, 2021
'Tis but a sunset dream.
Nov 2021 · 413
Carry On My Friends
Jay M Nov 2021
A call to the homesick
To those who roam
Their souls adrift
Wanderers among the vast

A call to the heartsick
To the broken hearted
Grieving their losses
May their hearts mend one day

A call to the uncertain
To those plagued by possibilities
Swirling about in an endless storm
Torn by the hurricane within the mind

A call to the weary
Similar are we
Long exhausted
Eyes beyond dull
Reminders of an empty hull
Crew overworked, with mere hours rest
May their hearts know rest
Within their husks of a chest

Carry on my friends
My weary companions
For we fight the unseen
We know the invisible plight
Battles through every night

Carry on my friends
My wandering spirits
We hear not the cries
But we know the sorrow
We carry our boundless stories
Until we can no longer
To let them go,
Or to end the tale

But carry on my friends
Your tale is not at its end
Your song not yet done
There is more in store
So carry on, for there are days ahead

One day you shall find your place
The home for your soul
One day you shall mend your heart
And it shall beat again
One day you shall know
Not all, but the way is before you

- Jay M
November 29th, 2021
Carry on my friends. All will be well in the end.
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