Purple light across the sky
and I
can't help but think
the sun is on the brink
and needs a rest
it's just too stressed
and so the moon tries
to fill the skies
with its light but
it isn't cut
out for the job, everyone
knows that the sun
is so much better
moonlight is wetter
and so the moon
sings a sad tune
but carries on
regardless.

Perhaps the worst thing
Is that I can't tell you when I'm happy
Because I'm afraid you'll make me sad

I noticed a small scar on my German teacher's elbow today
It called to me, reeled me in, filled my senses
It whispered of days and nights thought long-gone
When any sharp object in reach would do
When any little remark or joke or situation would set me off
It whispered of the sound of skin parting
And the bite of metal
And the eureka! of blood
And the taste of satisfaction
It whispered of the moment of peace
Tranquillity
When everything becomes nothing
And pain becomes everything
And nothing is painful

Then I remembered the tears of my mother
The horror in my friends' eyes
The shame I felt
The bitterness before each guilty slice
The stubbornness inside me screaming don't let it win!
The worry they feel
The pain I cause them
By causing pain to myself
And I return to reality
And she is still talking
Oblivious to my dip into darkness

I have won the battle
But the war will not be over for a long, long time

What am I hiding?
Nothing at all
Nothing important
Just a silly scrawl

What's in that package?
Nothing for you
Nothing significant
Just a thing or two

What are my secrets?
What secrets are they?
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Every moment of every day

What are my desires?
I have so few
I am a simple person
Unlike you

What is my goal?
To live life, of course
To the fullest I can
With the least remorse

What's that key for?
The one around my neck?
It's just an old thing
Got to go, just a sec

What does it open?**
Nothing at all
Nothing significant
Nothing I can recall

Thumbs twiddling
Fingers fiddling
Under the table
Hair of sable
Concealing fear flashes
That hit like car crashes
Chewing on lips
Getting to grips
With every voice
And the lack of choice
To listen.
Eyes darting
Will starting
To crumble
And tumble
Down a slippery *****
Struggling to cope
With a normal dinner
Celebrating a winner
Who now tries to hide tears
Because of her fears
Of being here.